Belief
by GwendolynTalbot
Summary: Olivia struggles in the aftermath of Elliot's death. Just as she begins to reach breaking point, a package brings her hope that he is still alive. With Munch the only person she can hope will believe her once her sanity and credibility are questioned, can they uncover the truth and will they find Elliot?
1. Chapter 1

_This story is 90% complete and I will update it regularly._

 _Thank you to Joanie for being my beta :-)_

 _I know this starts out pretty depressing - sorry! It is EO, and Munch is a central character. I want him to be at the heart of solving something when noone else can see beyond the smokescreen. He has a lot more depth and complexity than some of the later seasons of SVU showed him to have, mainly because his role was smaller then. I highly recommend watching Homicide if you only know him from SVU as you will learn so much more about him. And rewatch those early SVU seasons, they are gold._

 _I hope my portrayal of Munch and the contributions he makes to this plot, do justice to the character_.

 **Belief**

 **Prelude**

" _You're on." said Munch, as he adjusted the lens on the camera, carefully watching as Olivia's image became sharper and more focused._

 _Olivia took a breath and looked directly into the camera._

" _My name is Olivia Benson and I am a detective with the NYPD. My colleagues, Elliot Stabler and John Munch, will make statements following mine. We have each endured weeks of suffering at the hands of the U.S government."_

 _She hesitated, her eyes flitting to her partner who offered her a reassuring nod, before she looked back at the camera._

" _These are our stories."_

...

Olivia sat at her desk, vaguely aware of the strained, unfamiliar noises in the squad room around her; an uncomfortable combination of hushed voices and muted sounds. She barely acknowledged the various people who walked past her, pausing awkwardly at her desk as they each uttered some kind of attempt at comforting words and reassurances.

Olivia merely avoided eye contact, shifting her eyes enough to acknowledge them without having to take in their predictable sympathy. The concern she saw in every glance was too much to bear. She hadn't even left the squad room yet, and already she felt herself feeling lightheaded, as if the air were too thin; and she didn't even want to think about the journey she had to take.

Thinking wasn't something that she was doing at all anymore - it was better that way - she had learned fast in the previous three weeks, that stopping to think, listen to the kind, well intentioned words of those who undoubtedly cared about her- was simply not a good idea. If she let the numbness wear off, even for a moment, the pain would creep in - and with it, the horror of reality.

Suddenly, Olivia jumped at the unexpected contact of a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she made the big mistake of meeting Captain Cragen's eyes. The concern and sorrow she saw struck her hard, and she suddenly felt a flood of tears pressing behind her eyes. Taking a breath, she let it out slowly and got to her feet, his hand dropping from her shoulder as he hesitated, before speaking.

"We're ready to go Olivia," he said. The quiet, soft tone of this voice unsettling her.

Olivia merely nodded, and took a shaky breath as she waited for Cragen to take the lead. Feeling his hand on her back, she concentrated, letting the familiar numbness wash over her. It would sustain her, she would get through it - if only she didn't stop, didn't take this in, didn't absorb this.

As she entered the elevator, she stood with her back to the wall, leaning heavily as she carefully avoided moving her gaze toward her friends and colleagues. Focusing on the illuminated buttons on the elevator panel instead, she stared hard, swallowing as she felt a wave of nausea washing over her yet again.

She knew that Cragen, Munch and Fin were worried about her; she was barely functioning, she hadn't come back to work yet, and at least one of them would visit her at her apartment every day - they seemed to have an unspoken agreement to ensure that she was not alone.

She didn't mind, she was barely even aware of their presence half of the time; making small talk and eating the food that they brought every day - as if she wouldn't be able to do the simple task of eating if nobody brought it to her. In truth, however she didn't know if she would remember or even bother to, so they probably had a right to be concerned.

The startling tone, indicating that they had reached the ground floor, disturbed her concentration on the dull light of the buttons, and the doors opened to the unusually silent precinct. Following Cragen out of the elevator; Munch, then Fin close behind, she slipped in her determination to not look at anybody else, and glanced up.

Suddenly her vision was filled with a sea of dress uniforms, and her throat began to constrict. The air seemed to leave the room in one fell swoop, along with the eerie lack of voices and the usual sounds that she was so used to hearing in the precinct.

"Liv," Cragen said, as she suddenly felt a rush of air against her, and inhaled a shaky breath.

" _Liv_ ," he repeated, his hand resting on her arm.

"Yeah?" she said, as she stopped in her tracks, staring hard at the car in front of her, the door open, Cragen gesturing for her to get in.

" _Okay_ ," she whispered, as she climbed in, sliding over the to the opposite end of the seat as Cragen got in next taking a seat opposite, and Munch slid in next to her. Fin finally joined them, closing the door behind him.

Within moments, the car was moving, and Olivia instantly felt a rush of nausea. A sob threatened to escape her, and she battled to control it; battled to control herself.

"How are you holding up Liv?" Munch asked, "It's a stupid question I know, but what else can we do right now except offer meaningless platitudes of sympathy."

Fin glared at Munch, and Olivia suddenly startled them as she let out a strangled laugh. Leaning back, she turned her head toward Munch, meeting his eyes.

"Thanks Munch," she said quietly, aware that her voice was betraying the rush of emotion threatening to spill out.

"For what?" he asked.

"You're the only one who acts normal around me anymore," she said. She gave Munch a small smile, before she suddenly turned away, bending forwards, her elbows resting on her knees as she put her face in her hands and gave in to the barrage of tears that she had fought for three weeks, and simply could not contain any longer.

"We're here for ya Liv, whatever you need," Fin said. "We're all gonna look out for each other."

Munch rested a hand on her back, the way she shook with the sobs that wracked her body, causing his own pain and grief to push the the surface.

"We're gonna get through this day Liv, you're not doing this on your own," Munch said.

The car sped along the familiar streets, as the detectives and their captain sat in relative silence. Munch's hand remained on Olivia's back as she cried - no one spoke and Olivia was grateful for the silence. She did not want to hear any more words of sympathy, assurances of support, she had heard so many now that it was simply becoming white noise to her. She knew they were there for her - not a day went by that she didn't see how much they all cared.

Munch was right, she didn't need their statements of sympathy, promises of support; it was meaningless because she _knew_ they cared. There were no magic words that could turn back time, make this right, change the past, and so she would rather they didn't try.

Cragen watched silently as the car took them closer and closer to a day that he feared Olivia might not recover from.

Her partners funeral.

 **CHAPTER 1**

 **THREE WEEKS LATER**

Olivia stood, looking out across the city from the rooftop of the precinct. She knew that when she said she needed a few minutes before they left, that the others would be watching the clock. Cragen always seemed on edge when she went up to the roof for a moment alone. It grated. The way he watched over her - she knew he was worried, but she hated that he had changed the way he acted around her. Always concerned. Always expecting her to snap at any moment.

And she hadn't.

She had returned to work and remained focused, composed, throwing herself into the job. She rebutted all attempts at having coffee, or drinks after work, from any of them, despite knowing they would stop by her apartment - check up on her, not allow more than a day to go by without one of them seeing her.

Turning around, she sat down heavily on the ground, her back against the wall as she took out her cell phone and cradled it in her hands. She could never work out whether she was easing her pain or causing her grief to worsen, but still she could not stop herself.

The ache deep in her chest, her heart, her mind - it all eased for the briefest of moments when she heard his voice. Those brief words - so familiar and so lost to her now.

Pressing the first number on her speed dial, she put the phone to her ear and squeezed her eyes closed tightly as she let the sound of his voice comfort her momentarily.

'Stabler, leave a message.'

Olivia took a deep, shuddering breath and exhaled before speaking, her voice a strained whisper, "... _I miss you Elliot_."

As she ended the call, the familiar stab of pain hit her - she was sure it was worse every time she called his cell phone, yet she couldn't stop. Still holding her phone tightly in her hand, she dropped her head to her knees and let the pain and grief take her over as she cried.

She couldn't do it everyday. Coming to work, trying to move on, to keep going. Trying to show everyone how very ok she was, when in reality she didn't feel in the slightest bit ok.

It scared her at times how low she realised she was falling.

She wondered if Cragen wasn't far off the mark with his concerned glances - maybe he _should_ be worried, because she didn't know how she could ever be the same again.

The morning was a long slew of paperwork and the occasional visitors from other units, who would stop briefly and awkwardly at her desk to offer their condolences before rushing off to whatever the true purpose of their visit was.

Cragen finally let her out of the squad room when they received an urgent call about a case she had been involved in a few days previously. She jumped up to leave quickly, out of the door and heading to the elevator with Munch rushing to catch her up.

"Woah Liv, slow down," he said, as the elevator doors opened, and they both went in, "you can't shake me off that easily. I have something you need."

Olivia stared at him in confusion as the elevator approached the ground floor, and sighed, "Ok John, what do you have that I need?"

Munch held up a set of keys and offered them to her, "The keys to your heart. Who's driving?"

The call out was a stark contrast to the atmosphere in the squad room. It was fraught. They had little time to think and prepare - Olivia liked that. Responding to a situation and not having to think.

Olivia ran up the metal steps, focusing only on the shaft of light coming from the battered door at the top of the steps. Munch followed closely behind her, the sound of the steps clattering as they raced up them.

Placing her hands on the door, she pushed, a rush of cold air hitting her as the light flooded the stairwell. Her eyes locked onto the woman immediately. Her pace instinctively slowed as she took in the scene in front of her. Munch followed suit, their instincts taking over as they slowed down and approached cautiously.

The woman stood on the edge of the roof, her arm outstretched, hand gripping an old iron railing deathly tight. She nervously looked down over the edge, inching further from the security of the railing, panic flooding her eyes.

"Come down Sarah," Olivia said, "it's over now."

"I killed him, after everything he did I'm no better than him," Sarah said, her voice shaking with barely controlled emotion.

"Don't do this, don't let him win." Olivia said.

Sarah jerked her head in panic as Munch's radio came to life, the crackle of the static and the distorted voices breaking her thoughts, as he placed his hand over the radio to dull the noise.

"I'm just going to tell them not to come up Sarah, then it's just you, and me and Detective Benson, ok?"

Sarah stared, tears filling her eyes before she swallowed and nodded, her gaze then focusing a little more and she moved her eyes from Munch to Olivia.

"You need to come down Sarah, _please_ ," Olivia said, as she stepped closer, reaching out her hand, "take my hand and come off the ledge."

In a split second, as Sarah shuffled closer to the edge, Olivia closed the distance between then and climbed up - standing inches apart, her hand stretching for the railing that Sarah held more loosely now.

Olivia's eyes focused on Sarah's slackened grip on the railing, realising that she could not reach it to steady herself without stepping even closer to Sarah and risking crowding her, and quickly dropped her hand to her side. Munch watched, his eye moving to the ledge, which was really too narrow for anyone to be standing on. The brick dust crumbled and billowed into the air with every small movement Olivia made.

Olivia continued to look straight at Sarah - not looking at the ledge, not even affording a glance as to work out how much room she had to maneuver.

"Y...you're gonna fall, get down," Sarah said, visibly trembling now.

"Dont worry about me, it's you I'm concerned about,"

Olivia raised her arms out to her sides, the wind blowing through her hair, and the orange brick dust falling faster now from beneath her shoes. "See - I'm not coming any closer, I'm not going to try and pull you down. Hold on tighter to that railing honey, and just step down. _I'm not coming down until you do_."

As her words left her, her ankle twisted slightly, as a lump of brick gave way beneath her. Olivia winced at the sharp pain in her ankle, and swiftly adjusted her stance, moving to hold her hand out to the girl this time.

"Olivia _come down_ ," Munch said, his voice uneven, a tinge of fear showing through.

Olivia turned her head and looked down at the street below, filled with cars and people; filled with life. She looked back up at Sarah and smiled sadly, "You have your little brother to take care of, he needs you. You have people who love you. Don't tell me you have nothing to live for. Come down for him."

"What good am I in prison?" she said, tears falling freely as her emotion took over.

"It was self defense Sarah - you threatened to talk to the police about him and he was more violent this time, you said in your statement that you thought he was going to kill you. You're going to be here for your brother, to live a life with him. _He needs you_."

Olivia stumbled as a large part of the ledge gave way suddenly, the brick breaking and sliding off, wedging firmly into a pipe running along the edge of the building.

Munch swore under his breath as he stepped closer to Olivia, reaching out his hand until he was able to close his fingers around her wrist, and keep a firm hold.

Sarah took a deep breath and gripped the railing tightly, her knuckles whitening with the intensity of her grip as she suddenly used it as leverage to step down and onto the safety of the roof.

Munch took her arm and sat her down on the ground, pulling Olivia down in the same swift movement, casting a worried glance at her as he let go of her wrist.

After a cautionary glance at Sarah, he turned Olivia to face him, taking her shoulders in his hands, gripping firmly and looking intently at her, "What were you thinking, that was crazy." he whispered, trying to avoid Sarah overhearing the conversation. "That whole ledge was crumbling under your feet.."

Olivia turned her head, glancing at the ledge where she had been balanced without a second thought moments earlier.

"I didn't notice," she said, the detached tone of her voice sending a slight chill through Munch.

"Come on Liv," he said, his voice filling with concern and compassion for his friend. "let's get you both out of here." He placed a hand on her back as she placed her own hand on the victim's arm, helping her up as they made their way towards the doorway.

….

Munch sat in Cragen's office, Olivia's actions and obvious lack of care for her own well being were playing on his mind. It was delicate balance though, Cragen wanted an update, wanted to know how she was doing, but he was sure that in reality what Cragen wanted to hear was simply that Olivia was doing ok, getting by, coping a little better with each day. He wanted the truth, but he _didn't_ want to hear it. However, he didn't think that raising a red flag which would put the spotlight on her was what she needed.

He sighed knowing he had to tread carefully. He didn't want to raise any concerns without talking to Olivia first, but Cragen had called him in unexpectedly and blindsided him.

"She's been back and partnered with you unofficially for three weeks - how's it going?" Cragen asked.

"She's….been through a huge loss Captain, it's gonna take time for her."

Cragen frowned and leant forward, his arms resting on his desk, "Do I need to be worried about her?"

"She needs to keep busy, and she won't like it if she's restricted. She'll hate you for it, and me for suggesting it, but I think she needs more time before she's back out in the field."

Cragen sighed, "Is she talking to you?"

"Other than a detailed critique of my barista skills last week, the conversation doesn't stray further than her irritation at everyone else for treating her like she's made of glass." Munch replied.

"How worried are you John?" Cragen asked.

"In all seriousness, _I am_ worried, but she's grieving, and if we all stand by her, she'll start to get through this. She needs time."

"I could restrict her caseload - if I'm more picky about what I give her, she'll realise that, but that's a middle ground at least. It keeps her busy." Cragen said.

Munch sighed and reclined in his chair, "I think she'll come through this - but it's only been six weeks Captain, it'll take time. All we can do is keep a close eye on her - be there, watch her back."

"Thanks John, I will have a chat with her later once I've had a think. Keep me posted - we have to all work to pull each other through this. This has hit us all hard, but Liv the most." he leaned back, sorrow emanating through the composed he mask he tried, as their Captain to wear, despite the tragedy which had rocked them all to the core.

 **Olivia Benson's Apartment.**

Olivia closed the door behind her, leaning against it before sliding the bolt across. She stared at the bundle of mail in her hand. Tossing it onto the accumulating pile of mail that she hadn't got around to opening in the last few weeks, she paused to pick up a small brown package, but decided against opening any of it as she sighed and dropped it all back down on to the counter.

Throwing her keys down onto the kitchen counter, she grabbed a glass from her cabinet and poured some water into it. She registered for a moment that her kitchen was pretty spotless, despite the fact that she couldn't remember the last time she had cleaned it. A moment of guilt flashed across her mind as she recalled Fin, when he 'dropped by' over the weekend, clattering around in her kitchen. She made a mental note to thank him for cleaning up, _and tell him not to do it again_. She hated that they all felt that they had to look after her - but she couldn't deny that she was also comforted by their actions too.

The day had just become worse and worse, first with Munch taking her to one side to tell her Cragen had asked him how she was coping, which got her back up straight away, although she knew that Munch had been on the spot, and would have spoken to her beforehand if he had been able to. His declaration that she essentially, 'scared the crap out of him on a weekly basis' with her lack of concern for her own wellbeing, got to her.

She was simmering at that point, but then Cragen called her in and expressed his concern, _yet again._ Yet another invitation to see the department shrink, which she said she would definitely make contact with this time.

She slipped the contact details into her pocket, with no intention of giving it a second thought as she went back to her desk.

She couldn't face it. She couldn't handle talking about Elliot - she would go along with it if she could talk about anything else, but he would be the centre of everything they discussed.

She was only holding on by _not_ thinking about him.

She sat down on her couch after grabbing the bundle of unopened mail and this time tossing it onto the coffee table in front of her. Leaning back she closed her eyes, trying to push out the memories that fought hard to jump to the surface.

It was always harder when she was alone. She had always been alone, she was used to the silence and it didn't bother her, because it was _her_ silence. It was her apartment, her life - the world she had built for herself. That same silence had become almost unbearable now though. Every time she shut her door, that same silence swooped down in an oppressive almost haunting way. As well as she did it, when she blocked everything out by keeping busy and occupied, as soon as she was alone, her thoughts turned to him.

It was almost as though her mind were betraying her - rebelling against her hard fought battle to keep her partner out of her head. But she knew it was futile. She _wanted_ to think of him, wanted him in her mind and her heart. She needed her memories of him just as much as she needed to _stop_ thinking about him in order to function day by day.

She leaned back against the soft cushions of her couch, and the familiar biting pain cut through her - as she allowed herself to remember him.

 _Just a few weeks ago really, not that long. So little time had passed by relatively since he had last been in her apartment. She closed her eyes and squeezed them shut against the harsh pain of the memory._

They'd had a rough few weeks, they'd fought, they'd fixed things between them and they'd fought again. The case had dragged on and on, it had been a rough ride for the whole squad but Olivia and Elliot had both become so involved. It had ended with two arrests, and the evidence was solid, so they had finally been able to rest. Then followed two quieter days, they returned to the comfortable, relaxed atmosphere they were used to, and Elliot had sat next to her, on her couch, a beer in his hand.

They talked - nothing really meaningful, just talk, but it was light, positive, and at times almost flirtatious. As Elliot pushed the conversation slightly more in that direction, he eyed her carefully, wanting to make sure he wasn't crossing a line - that she was on the same page as him.

Olivia was most definitely on the same page as him. She felt nervous as the flirtatious nature of the conversation increased initially, feeling also, that she might be going a little too far, but she mirrored her partner as she took note of his responses, and she soon fell into a comfortable ease.

It was minutes into that comfortable ease, that he relaxed back on her couch, his arm, intended to drape across the back of the couch, dropping slightly lower, his fingertips skimming her shoulder.

The light touch made her shiver very slightly, but it did not escape his notice.

He knew he was the cause, and he was relieved she had reacted that way. His confidence grew at that accidental touch and he allowed his arm to drop down, nudging her forward slightly, as he draped his arm across her shoulders.

Olivia smiled, and instinctively sunk into his embrace, and he responded by pulling her closer to him. She shuffled around slightly and her head settled onto his chest.

She smiled. It was warm, comfortable - right.

Moments later Elliot took a deep breath and turned slightly, leaning down as he placed a kiss on her head. A light and careful kiss - testing the waters.

Olivia's heart raced as she mustered up the courage to lift her head from his chest and turn to look at him. She wanted to kiss him more than anything at that moment, but it was a line she was far too afraid to cross. His friendship, their partnership, not to mention the fact that he had only been divorced for four weeks - there was so much to consider and Olivia was too afraid of losing what she had with him.

Elliot paused, their eyes locking, as he leaned in slightly. He was moments from dropping his mouth to hers, moments from taking a bold step across their boundaries. His eyes dropped to her lips, the need to cover her mouth with his, becoming too strong to fight.

They focused only on each other. That moment - those precious seconds between them where they came so close, she would never know if they would have kissed had they not been interrupted; when Olivia's cell phone lit up, moving across the table as it vibrated.

Olivia dropped her eyes and focused on her phone, feeling equally as relieved for the interruption as she was annoyed. Sighing, she picked it up.

Elliot watched her as she spoke to Cragen, leaning over to pick up a pen and notepad from the side table and jotted down an address. He couldn't focus on her words, he just wanted to take the phone out of her hand, end the call, take her face in his hands and kiss her.

He wanted to kiss her and feel her relax and reciprocate with equal passion and want. Feel her relax into his arms like she had done on the couch with his arm around her.

Olivia ended the call and looked at him, the fear of picking up where they had left off taking hold.

She took a deep breath and let it slowly, "We should….we should go, I told Cragen I'd pick you up."

Elliot looked at her, puzzled, "Why didn't you just tell him I was here?"

"I don't know, I just...didn't want him to think that we were…" she replied hesitantly.

"It's ok Liv," Elliot said with a warm smile, despite the regret he felt at losing their moment, " _We're ok_. Let's go."

 **Five hours later she was at Mercy General, being treated for superficial burns, after she ran into the building that had been the unexpected sight of an explosion.**

 **Cragen had broken the news to her that Elliot had not made it out. He had watched her refusing to accept it. Her anger escalating as she insisted they go back and find him. That he needed help, that they couldn't give up.**

 **She ignored all of her friends and colleagues words; words which only made her angry, and slipped out of the hospital to go back to the scene. Her anger escalated when she couldn't get past the fire crew and bomb squad, with the building not declared secure.**

 **Fin had located her just as the fire crew came out of the remains of the building announcing that there were no survivors.**

 **From that point onwards, she could only remember sitting on the ground. Fin pulling his jacket around her, his hands on her shoulders, asking her to look at him, and if she could hear him.**

 _ **She became numb then, and she realised it was far less painful if she just stayed that way.**_

Glancing at her cell phone, she battled the urge to call his voicemail again - she was beginning to call him multiple times in a day, and she knew she probably needed to talk to someone. Cragen had tried hard in his attempts to get her to see the department psychiatrist, offered to make an appointment with Huang, given her numbers to call if she wanted to speak to someone independently of the NYPD.

' _I'm just concerned about you Olivia.'_

Cragen was concerned.

Fin was giving her awkward, sympathetic glances, and just being plain angry towards everyone else.

Munch - he was just Munch. She was so thankful for that. He didn't walk on eggshells around her, didn't look at her with that growing unease that Cragen did. He was just the same as he always was - except he knew when she needed him to take a step back and when she needed a sympathetic smile. Sometimes she really did - but the rest of them just didn't know when to stop - constant sympathetic glances and flashes of concern were too much.

And the look - the look Cragen gave her when she came down from the roof each time. It was almost as though he didn't expect her to walk back through the door, and each time he seemed more relieved that she had.

She hated that. Hated that he looked at her in that way. That way that said she was fragile - _too fragile._

 _That she could be gone at any moment - just like Elliot._

Olivia leant forward with a defeated sigh and picked up the mail, leafing through the letters, making a mental note that some probably needed to be opened and responded to, but nothing appeared urgent. She glanced at them, tossing them one by one onto her coffee table until she came again to the small brown package - tearing it open she put her hand in and her fingers closed around the contents. Pulling it out, she stared hard as a wave of nausea instantly washed over her. She looked inside the package - hoping desperately to find a note, an explanation, but felt increasingly colder and sicker as her mind and heart raced in confusion.

Turning the package over in her hand she searched for a post mark, but the packaging had nothing to indicate where it had come from.

Olivia's head spun as her thoughts jumbled maddeningly around. She stood up, pacing back and forth, clutching the cause of her shock in her hand tightly, so tightly that she began to leave an imprint against her skin, which was gradually reddening.

Walking to her kitchen counter she slammed it down, hard, next to her gun and badge and stepped back, backing into the counter behind her without moving her eyes from it. Suddenly she heard a laugh and wondered who in the hell would be so inappropriate to laugh at her, when her whole world, that had already done a pretty good job of destroying itself, had just crashed around her again.

It took several minutes for her to realise that the laugh was actually coming from her. She stopped laughing abruptly as she realised this and her eyes filled with tears, as her hand ran through her hair, settling on the back of her neck where she squeezed slightly, attempting to ground herself, keep a grip on reality.

" _Christ, I'm losing it_ ," she whispered.

Spinning around, she pulled open a cupboard and reached up, her hand closing around the bottle, the glass felt warm in her hand, reminding her how cold she was actually feeling.

She shivered suddenly, and reached for a glass with her other hand. Placing them both on the counter, she stifled her sob, as she fought to control her emotions. Unscrewing the cap, she shakily poured a generous measure into the glass, spilling the liquid onto the counter as she placed the bottle back down, harder than she intended to, not bothering to screw the cap back on.

Bracing her hands against the countertop, she closed her eyes, as her tears flowed, stronger now than her attempt at willpower, her battle to stay in control was hopelessly lost.

Taking a deep breath she turned around, exhaling slowly, as her eyes fell on the contents of the envelope once more. A humourless laugh escaped her, as she stared hard before speaking, her voice low and wary,

" _What the hell is this_?"

 **Chapter 2 will be in a few days. Thanks for reading! I promise more Munch in the next chapter - and don't worry, despite the way it starts, this story has EO at its heart.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"MUNCH!" Olivia yelled, hammering on the door with her fist. She felt like she had been banging on his front door for ages and her impatience was building rapidly.

Glancing up at the house, Olivia felt a surge of hope as a light went on in an upstairs window.

"JOHN!" she yelled again, continuing to bang on the door as a hallway light eventually came on.

The sound of a bolt sliding opening stilled her, and she dropped her arm, ceasing her relentless pounding on the door.

Munch opened the door, blinking sleep from his eyes as he put his glasses on, staring at her quizzically, as he took in her appearance.

Tears brimmed in her eyes, and she stood clutching something tightly to her chest. She swayed slightly on her feet, the strong smell of alcohol gave no secret to her intoxicated state.

Munch stepped to the side, gesturing for her to come in as he watched her with concern.

Olivia walked in quickly, closing the door behind her with more force than she intended, the loud bang as the wood connected with the frame startled her briefly.

"Liv, easy on the door..." Munch began, but paused when he took in her demeanour. His tone instantly changing to one of concern as he stepped closer to her, "what's wrong?"

Olivia walked straight past him and into his living room, pausing when she reached the centre of the room, and spun around, with an anxious and confused expression.

"You'll listen to me John, I know you will. You think...about this stuff...you believe things that other people don't have time for…" she began, her words coming out rushed as her thoughts raced, tumbling from her lips. "Elliot's alive, _I know he is_ ," she said, watching Munch intently.

" _Liv_ ," he sighed, as he walked over and placed a hand on her arm, "I would love to be able to tell you that Elliot is alive but we were both there... _at his funeral,_ " he lowered his voice taking on a softer tone which irritated her because she knew he was doing it in an attempt to placate her, "sit down, I'll get you a coffee."

Olivia took a deep breath and held her arm straight out, her fingers losing their tight grip as she opened her hand.

"If he's dead Munch," she said, her voice lowering to a steely whisper, "then who the hell sent me this."

Munch frowned and took the small leather holder from her hand, opening it, he took a long look, at the medal and the words written alongside it. "Semper Fi - El."

Munch sighed and turned it over in his hands, "Someone sent this to you? Was it Kathy? Perhaps she wanted you to have it Liv."

Olivia reached forward grasping the leather holder tightly and taking it back in her hands, her fingers closing tightly around it again as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Elliot sent this to me Munch." she said, her eyes scanning his his, desperately hoping to see an understanding - an acknowledgment that he would take her seriously. "I _know_ he did."

"Liv, I would love to tell you that Elliot is alive, that this was all a horrible mistake," Munch said, watching her with concern as he squeezed her arm gently, " _that he hasn't left you_ , but he has Olivia, as hard as that is to hear _._ "

Olivia took a deep shuddering breath as her tears pushed to the surface and an angry sob escaped her. Opening her eyes, she ignored her tears as she stared determinedly at Munch.

"I read the report - it barely proves anything - only that he was in the building. He needs help Munch...he needs _our_ help."

Munch regarded her cautiously, his natural instinct to consider her words as something worth investigating, thwarted by his concern that she simply couldn't handle Elliot's death and was not accepting it. His instinct to react with interest to her theory despite her obvious grief, which may well have affected her judgment, was incredibly conflicting.

"If he did send that to you Liv - why did he wait this long?" he motioned with his hand, for her to wait when she went to speak, considering that it were probably better to wait until the morning to get much further into the conversation, when she was sober and thinking more clearly. "Why would he put you through his funeral?"

Olivia took a steadying breath and looked at him with determination, "Because he _couldn't reach out John_. I know he's alive, and I know he would have contacted me if he could. Just help me - and if you show me proof that he really is dead, I'll accept it, I swear to you. Until then, _I am not giving up._ "

Olivia woke the next morning, momentarily confused and disoriented when she opened her eyes and her senses were immediately struck with unfamiliarity. Glancing around she took in the furnishings, the decor, the photographs adorning the walls; for one brief moment she felt a tinge of regret and her mind raced to remember the night before.

Running her hand through her hair, she glanced at the couch, seeing a pillow, blankets; evidence that she had slept on the couch, most likely alone. Breathing a sigh of relief that she had not drunk so much that she blacked out and woke with no memory of spending the night with someone, her eyes fell on the glass of water and pills sitting on the coffee table - and the black leather holder that had spun her into a confused emotional mess the previous night.

As memories of the night before came flooding over her, she wondered whether she had made the right decision in coming to Munch. He wouldn't just dismiss what she had to say - she _knew_ he wouldn't. He always looked below the surface, never accepting things at face value. If there was one person she could turn to to hear her out, it was him. Equally, she was aware that he had expressed his concern over her wellbeing on several occasions, and she wondered whether he would simply go to Cragen and she would end up in the compulsory therapy that Cragen had said he would enforce if she didn't 'accept the suggestion'.

Slumping back down on the couch she ran her hand through her hair, picking up the glass of water and swallowing the pills down quickly, realising how sore her throat felt.

Munch walked into the living room, observing her carefully, relieved that she was sober and more focused from having slept.

"Let's get this straight now you're back in the land of sobriety Olivia. _You're_ trying to convince _me_ , that I should investigate a potential cover up of your partner's disappearance, whose death has been faked, but who has found a way to contact you after weeks of you believing he was dead."

Olivia looked up as she placed her glass back on the table, before speaking, her voice confident and calm, "That's about right Munch."

Munch sat down in a chair opposite - regarding her with slight amusement, "Well this is an interesting role reversal we've got going on here. Just wait Olivia, next thing you know you'll be enlightening Fin on other NYPD cover ups, and we'll all be rolling our eyes at you."

Olivia looked at him, her expression tired and worried, and paused for a moment before proffering a small smile.

Munch returned her smile, but his expression quickly changed as he looked at her with a sudden concern and seriousness, " _Are you OK_?"

"I'm okay Munch." she said, the tone of her voice telling him that she was anything _but_ Ok.

"I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have just turned up here, thank you for taking me in and hearing me out - you must think I've lost my mind."

Munch pursed his lips as he considered his next move, unsure whether his words would help or serve to hurt her further if he was wrong.

" _Liv_ , let's find out who sent that to you. If we can't explain it then...I'll help you look Into this...I don't want to give you false hope, _I really don't,_ but they _were_ quick to register his death given the circumstances. "

Olivia felt a surge of hope at his words, looking at him with expectation and anticipation.

" _Ok_ , first thing we do is check what we have here, including any packaging, which I`m guessing you kept - for prints. If there's an explanation - if Kathy sent it and just forgot to put a note in, then I need you to take that in.. _and accept it._...but if there's no explanation, then we look at the evidence next."

"Munch, his DNA was at the scene, torn clothing, blood...it was an explosion, that's not unusual, but he could have got out beforehand…."

" _If_ he sent that to you then we have two avenues to investigate. He was either an active participant in faking his own death or he had no choice. If he planned this - it means he had to have orchestrated an entire building being blown up, or he was waiting for a moment to use to his advantage so he could run. Do those scenarios sound like Elliot to you?"

"No, absolutely not."

"My thoughts exactly. Not forgetting how improbable it would he that he would fake his own death and wait five weeks to contact you to give a hint that he might be alive. Unless he faked his death to live a life of hedonism on a tropical beach where he has been totally unaware of the passing of time, then it's not realistic at all." Munch said.

"You think he's in trouble? That he couldn't contact me before now?"

"If he didn't orchestrate his own disappearance Olivia - then _someone else did_."

Despite the ominous nature of Munch's line of thought, just knowing that Munch was on her side and had listened to her gave Olivia hope.

She stood up, walked towards him and smiled, pulling him up, and into a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, "I knew you'd listen."

Munch returned her hug, then stepped back, with a small smile, before a seriousness again took over. "Olivia... Wait and see what we find out. If we have indisputable proof that he's alive then we go to Cragen, _otherwise_ \- be very careful about who you talk to. Don't bring anyone else into this without talking to me first. We don't know what we're dealing with here, and it's unlikely that anyone would support us in investigating this."

He smiled and placed a hand on her arm affectionately. "And..you don't want Cragen thinking you're losing it, ok?"

The next day was strange for Olivia who tried to carry on as normal. She couldn't focus on anything and in one sense she was grateful that she didn't need to do anything but paperwork for the whole day, but it irked her. She was aware that Cragen seemed to periodically put her on paperwork since she had returned to duty - and she had her suspicions that it was his attempt to check on her - keep her closer to home, but after having argued with him the previous day about him restricting her field work, it annoyed her that he was keeping her on desk yet again without discussing it with her.

Looking across toward Munch's desk she watched him silently. She found it incredible that he was able to go about his normal activities without giving the slightest hint that something was wrong. She imagined that perhaps this was an art he had mastered over so many years of the varying topics and he was obviously well researched on, and truths that he sought. So many things he had said over the years had seemed far fetched and paranoid at times to her, but if Elliot were really alive….. then that word: 'truth'; she would need to seriously evaluate what that meant.

If someone had walked into the squad room and told her that their best friend were still alive despite having attending their funeral, she would have politely referred them to missing persons, and shook her head once they had left.

Such things were works of fiction, or laughable conspiracy theories - not reality, _not her reality_. Yet now, given the turn this were taking, she didn't see any humour in something which seemed far fetched.

She only saw a death faked, a person she loved taken from his life to God knows where.

She saw no joke in that.

She saw something frightening.

 **Next chapter: Olivia and Munch start digging, with shocking consequences for Olivia.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is longer, moving things in a different direction for Olivia and Munch's investigation.**

 **chapter 3**

They had convened in the interrogation room earlier that day, Olivia waiting for Munch and Fin to finish so she could get some privacy to talk to him. Munch had left with an excuse to see Melinda earlier that morning, and she knew that he was hoping to run the prints if the lab was empty. She was disappointed that the the lab had been too busy for Munch to run it, but he assured her he would go back later when the night shift was on and there was less chance of being spotted.

She suggested talking to Fin, but Munch reminded her that without any concrete evidence, their story would seem highly improbable. Munch pointed out that their phones had previously been tapped by a government agency who should have been on their side, and so they needed to be much more careful about where they discussed their investigation. They made plans to meet at Olivia's apartment later that evening to discuss their next move, when they were afforded more privacy.

As Munch made a move for the door, he turned and gave Olivia a questioning glance, "Liv - what did you do with Stabler's stuff? You insisted on being the one to clear out his desk - what did you do with it all?"

"It's in my apartment, in a box,"

"We should go through it all, let's do that tonight. We need to get a lead on this, and fast. For New York's finest, we are not exactly living up to our reputation if we didn't even realise he was alive for the past six weeks."

 **Olivia Benson's Apartment**

Olivia sat on her couch, a glass of wine in her hand as she spent another night sifting through paperwork; lab reports, blood work, crime scene reports - the apparent details of Elliot's death, and the large stack of phone records Munch had passed to her earlier.

It no longer made her sick to her stomach to read the medical examiner's declaration, not now that she was convinced that Elliot was really alive. He had reached out to her, _and she would find him._

Picking up her phone, she made a call to Munch, comparing notes on the crime scene analysis before he reminded her again to keep their phone conversations brief, and made plans to meet later that evening.

She sat back, taking a sip of wine as she set about pouring through the endless stream of paperwork that Munch had accessed, somehow undetected.

Two hours passed, then three. Olivia lost all track of time, she grew tired, time seeing to pass faster as the evening went on.

She glanced at the clock on her wall - confused as to how fast the time really did seem to be passing. She had barely touched the stack of paperwork on her coffee table, yet thirty minutes, then an hour, then two hours, just rushed by.

She picked up the bottle of wine and stopped as she took note that she was still only halfway through her first glass. Placing it back down on the table, she decided to leave the wine. She felt lightheaded and tired, and didn't want anything adding to that. She had to stay focused.

Ploughing on, she focused on the task in front of her The possibility of unlocking a lead keeping her going, but her tiredness became harder to fight. Paperwork. Reading. Leafing through hours of inconsequential phone records. Her eyes struggled to focus on pages and pages of black text on white paper. Her exhaustion overtook her, despite her determination to stay alert.

 _Eventually, giving in to sleep, her mind still refused to let her rest - plaguing her with strange, disjointed images and sensations._

A sudden cold feeling over her mouth and nose, an instinctive reaction, fighting, struggling. She opened her eyes but was met only with blackness, and the terrifying realisation that something had been placed over her her head. She moaned weakly, finding it hard to move, and her head swam. Her body felt like lead, almost as though she were trying to move through water.

Hands held her down; she panicked, fought, struggled, her body feeling numb and her mind distant and jumbled. Suddenly, hands were on her mouth, wrenching her head back, gripping her face tightly as her mouth was held open She drifted deeper into the blackness just as the terrifying sensation of something being shoved into her mouth, came into her hazy senses.

The dream was horribly confusing - she felt almost disconnected from her body. She tried to cough, and was alarmed by a horrible constricted feeling In her throat. She knew it should have scared her enough to wake her up, but everything around her was so fuzzy that she couldn't protest any longer and she gave up, descending into the blackness.

Suddenly becoming aware of sensations around her again, she felt calmer, but mildly annoyed now as she tried to move. She felt the hard floor beneath her, and wondered why she couldn't dream anything more interesting than simply lying on the ground.

Groggy and barely able to make a sound, she became aware that hands were on her again now, not gripping as tightly, but with a firm hold and an urgency. She could hear Munch's voice, telling her she had to wake up, but she felt too damn tired to wake up from her exhausting dream and open the door for him.

His voice, repeating her name almost in desperation, soon faded and she drifted into blackness. The peace was welcomed at first, but soon a bang and a jolt disturbed her.

Hearing muffled sounds, different voices, people she was sure she didn't know, drove her to try to wake up. This time though, she only managed to open her eyes slightly, and when she did, harsh overhead lights pierced into her fuzzy vision, forcing them closed again.

Distant voices, muffled and echoed, seemed to float around her, "Come on Detective, _stay with us."_

Moments later, she coughed and gagged as she felt something move inside her throat, the same, unpleasant sensation repeating itself almost immediately. She squirmed and groaned in protest, mustering some strength to move as soon as she felt a hand on her arm.

Panicking, she forced herself to try to sit up, her movements clumsy and slow, but enough to warrant a reaction.

The reaction did nothing but frighten her though as hands were on her fast, holding her arms and legs down as a disturbing sensation filled her throat. She tried to move, desperately wanting to move her hands to her throat where the almost suffocating sensation was becoming unbearable. The more she struggled however, the more insistently she was held down.

In her head she screamed - but in reality she couldn't even take a breath - she was no longer in control of her body - her breathing, her need to throw up, which didn't seem to be happening despite how incredibly nauseous she felt. Opening her eyes was a tremendous effort that really felt like too much of a battle to bother with.

She felt her skin becoming wet with tears and she fought to wake up. Sleep hadn't been an escape, it rarely was anymore, but to be trapped In a nightmare - forced to experience such bizarre and frightening sensations, was horrendous.

The next thing Olivia was aware of, was the fog briefly clearing as she felt a strange, cold sensation filling her stomach as more hands grasped her and turned her onto her side. Suddenly she was able to take a breath and a wave of nausea washed over her.

Instinctively turning her head, she began to throw up repeatedly.

She moaned, her stomach cramping and nausea hitting her in waves as she tried to move, but she realised that she was held firmly onto her side.

The fog cleared considerably then, but an intense need to sleep still engulfed her and she had barely stopped throwing up when drifted back to sleep.

The next time she opened her eyes, her focus was clearer - the room less blurry, the strangers surrounding her emerging from vague blurry shapes into outlines, before their features became more defined.

'W…" Olivia began to talk, her voice barely a whisper, her throat feeling almost raw, "what`s…"

"Just relax detective, we've got you stabilized now, just need to run some tests on your liver, make sure you haven't done yourself any damage. Then we're taking you upstairs."

Olivia groaned as another wave of nausea passed through her, but felt relief that this time it was much less intense.

'What's upstairs?" she said, mustering enough energy to draw her voice above a whisper.

The people around her, who she now realised were hospital staff, didn't seem to respond to her after that. Listening to her question, but turning away and looking busy once they had heard her.

Overcome with tiredness she closed her eyes, and decided to figure out what the hell was going on when she woke up - hopefully in her apartment, from the insane dream she was having.

 **Hospital**

Cragen paced the corridor, Munch sitting on one of the benches lining it, and Fin standing, his back against the wall opposite. They were all silent. The busy sounds of the hospital becoming grating after the endless waiting. Doors opening and closing, voices, sounds of equipment - different situations, but the same sounds, all night long.

After what seemed like hours to them all, a doctor eventually gave them an update. Cragen was the only one they would initially talk to, given that Olivia had listed him, in addition to Elliot, as her next of kin. He had disappeared for over twenty minutes with the doctor, before finally coming back and updating Munch and Fin. She was stable, her liver tests were clear, she'd been extremely lucky that Munch had found her when he did.

When Cragen got a phone call with a rape and murder, he closed his eyes and sighed in frustration. The squad needed to pause, if only for a day, and deal with everything that had happened in these past weeks, but no reprieve was ever granted to them. The wheels kept turning and they were all forced to keep going amidst the tragedy and loss.

Munch offered to wait at the hospital, to be there when Olivia was awake enough to talk. Cragen hesitated, and Munch inwardly tensed, willing him not to send him with Fin. He was hugely relieved when Cragen agreed. He needed to see her before she started talking to anyone at the hospital. He had to prepare her for what she needed to do and say to get out of there.

 _There was little chance that anyone else would listen to her now._

Olivia woke, her eyes adjusting slowly at first to the muted colours of the walls. She blinked, confused, before a surge of panic shot through her, pushing herself up on her elbows, quickly turning on her side and getting off the bed, not realising until she stood up, just how weak she felt.

Dropping back onto the bed, she sat for a moment, as her eyes flitted around the room, taking in its sparse nature - it appeared to be a hospital room, but that made no sense to her. She could not remember being ill, or in an accident.

Noticing immediately that she was for the main, still dressed in the clothes she was wearing in her apartment, although she noticed that she was not wearing any jewelry or a belt. She felt momentarily alarmed as she realised that she was not wearing a bra. The thought that someone had undressed and redressed her was nothing short of unsettling. She glanced around the room, trying to shake off her confusion before heading for the door.

Grabbing the handle and pulling it open she glanced around the corridor outside of the room. Gripping the doorframe, her eyes blurry, and exhaustion preventing her from moving any further, she spotted a seating area at the end of the corridor. Her eye fell on Munch immediately, who stood up as soon as he spotted her, walking quickly over.

"Liv, we have to talk," Munch whispered, " _right now_ , this is serious."

"What am I doing here?" Olivia asked, Munch's reaction only confusing her further.

"Let's go back inside your room, someone might overhear us," Munch said quietly.

"Munch, I don't have time for this! Just tell me what's going on?"

"Liv, I need you to tell me the truth- and _whatever_ that is…. if you did this, _its ok._ But tell me the truth. Did you take an overdose?"

"Overdose? Munch…. _what the hell are you talking about?_ " Olivia asked, a sense of fear creeping in past the mass of confusion.

"They think you attempted suicide, they have you on a 72 hour hold," Munch said, the gravely serious tone of his voice striking Olivia hard.

"What? Munch...no. _I didn't_...I didn't do anything, I was...shit, let me think," Olivia took a deep breath, attempting to compose herself and clear her head.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Munch asked.

"I was ..on my couch, I had a glass of wine, I was going through Elliot's phone records...I think I fell asleep…"

"You were drugged Olivia, someone has set this up to either kill you or destroy your credibility by making this look like you are mentally unstable. _I am not being paranoid,_ you have to listen to me if you want to get out of here."

"I'm getting the hell out of here right now," Olivia said, as she pushed past Munch and headed to the door most likely in her assumption, to lead towards the exit.

"Liv, _wait,_ " Munch said in a hushed, anxious tone.

Olivia headed to the door and pulled, finding that it would not open and pulled again harder.

" _Olivia_ ," Munch whispered as he approached her, "this is a psych ward, it's locked, you can't just walk out of here, come back to your room so we can talk about this before they kick me out of here. I am running out of favours with my friend at the nurses station. We don't have long."

Olivia stood, her line of sight falling to the nurses station, where she could see that she had already attracted attention. She was relieved to see that the nurse was watching, but appeared to be reasonably content that Munch was handling things. She let Munch's words sink in, before nodding mutely as she took in the serious concern in his eyes, and walked back with him to her room.

As soon as the door was closed, Munch relaxed slightly, relieved that he could now talk to her alone.

"Olivia listen to me, you can get out of here easily enough if you just play along with them, but do _not,_ under any circumstances tell them that somebody attempted to kill you, or set you up to make this look like a botched suicide attempt. Do you understand what i'm saying?"

" _This is insane Munch_ …"

" _Liv_...if you tell them what really happened, and if you tell them that Elliot is not really dead... _they won't let you out of here."_

Olivia looked at Munch in disbelief.

"I am _not_ saying that I attempted suicide...I _didn't_. I won't say that."

" _You have to_. You had enough tricyclics in you to take the both of us out, there's no way you can convince anyone this was a mistake Olivia."

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, tears prickling and threatening to spill as she became overwhelmed by everything that Munch was telling her.

"What happened? How did I get here?"

"I was coming over around eight remember?" He asked, pausing to ensure Olivia was taking his words in before continuing. "You didn't open the door, I got your super to let me in. You were unconscious on the floor, there was an almost empty bottle of antidepressants on the coffee table, next to an empty bottle of wine. I called a bus, they figured it hadn't been long so they used lavage and charcoal to get it all out of you when you got here."

Olivia ignored the tears pooling behind her eyes as she stared intently at Munch. "They pumped my stomach? _I didn't take an overdose Munch_ , I was given a prescription for antidepressants but I didn't want to take it - I didn't even fill it! What the hell is going on?" She paused, looking searchingly at Munch. "You believe me don't you?" she asked, nausea and panic washing over here briefly as she took in the totality of her situation.

"I _do_ believe you Olivia, _but the doctors won't_."

Olivia wiped angrily at her cheek, realising that at some point in the conversation she had started crying. Munch watched her with grave concern, the reality of the situation they were involved in shaking them both.

"You said you were going through Elliot's phone records?" Munch asked.

Olivia looked at him in confusion, "yes, why?"

"The phone records I gave you were a big stack - there was nothing on the floor, and I used your cell on your coffee table to call for a bus. I'm certain the phone records weren't on the table. Whoever did this to you did it to make sure no one will listen to you. Who is going to listen to a woman on a psych ward who has attempted suicide and is so delusional that she thinks her dead partner is still alive and sending her things in the mail?"

"You're not helping here Munch!" I know how this looks! Don't tell me how crazy I look, just tell me how to get the hell out of here!" she said in frustration.

"Play along, tell them what they want to hear and you'll be out of here when the 72 hours are up." Munch said, hoping that his assurance would give her some hope, however slight.

"I can't be here, not for that long, I need be out there trying to find Elliot!"

"Liv, please, don't talk about this to anyone, not at all until you're out of here. I'll keep digging - I finally got a moment when the lab was empty and found prints on the package. There is only one set. _And they are Elliot's._ I have no doubt that he sent that to you somehow Liv. He knew you'd check it - he knows you, he expected you to. Just play along here, and get the hell out of this place. Cragen will put you on medical leave, probably send you to the department shrink, put up a token level of protest, then go along with it. If you're on medical leave at least you can focus on Elliot. Three days, that's all, then you're out of here and we are gonna work out who did this to you...and to Elliot."

 **Next chapter: Is it going to be as straightforward to get Olivia out of there as Munch hopes?** **With enforced time on her hands - Olivia starts to sort out her feelings for Elliot. The story is written up to chapter 17 (of 19) I will post chapter 4 in a few days - I am aiming to have the whole story finished by the time I post chapter 8 - if not sooner.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thankyou for your reviews, I really appreciate it. :-)**

 **Chapter 4**

Three days - Munch's words repeated in her head like a mantra. It was a relatively short period of time, she knew she could get through seventy two hours. He had also told her to play along though, and this was something that she felt so conflicted about. A part of her wanted to come clean - admit that she knew Elliot was alive, tell them that her suicide attempt had been a setup - insist they call Cragen and open a case on both her and Elliot. She tried to heed Munch's warning however; that she could not mention Elliot, or that anyone had set her up. Withholding the truth, however far fetched it seemed did not come naturally to her. So much was wrong here, very wrong, and she needed answers.

The one thing she could hold onto was that Munch had found Elliot's prints on the package. He had sent it to her. That fact alone would sustain her, help her endure an enforced hospital stay.

Her feelings grew from confused and shocked, to scared, then angry as the hours passed by. Once she had processed what had happened to her, she simply grew more determined to uncover the truth...and more concerned for Elliot.

Soon, Olivia was certain that at least 24 hours must have passed, and she grew more and more concerned that she had not been convincing enough. If they thought that she was delusional - that she believed Elliot was trying to communicate with her when they could see his name on a death certificate - would she ever leave?

She had said as little as possible to the psychiatrist on the first day. She was defensive and frustrated, despite her attempts to take Munch's advice and play along.

She slept a lot that day, only coming out of her room to make a call to Munch, who warned her to be cautious about who might hear her end of the conversation. She felt constantly watched and tried to do what they wanted, but struggled to submit to the hospital schedule, and with no appetite and an extremely sensitive stomach, she could only eat little. She took exception to the fact that they insisted on supervising her doing even that. She hated that she couldn't even eat alone.

On the second day, she felt much more awake and was able to process the events that had brought her there. She held onto the fact that Munch and Cragen would be visiting her later, and Fin had passed on a message that he would be coming the next day. With SVU so short staffed it was a struggle, but they all wanted to see her and help her in any way they could.

She had managed considerably more food than the previous day - under the not so subtly watchful eye of a nurse, who had been busying herself in the room as she ate. She had decided to do what they wanted and go and eat with the other patients next time - being followed into her room to eat was irritating the hell out of her.

The nurse had turned around almost as soon as she had finished eating and spoken to her in patronizing way that made Olivia want to slap her.

"Well haven't you done well there? I think you should keep the wheels turning now you've eaten a whole meal and come to the social room, don't you?"

Olivia looked at her in shocked amusement. It took every bit of self control she had not to shout at her. She didn't know why in the hell anyone would think she wanted to socialise and make friends.

This wasn't a vacation.

"I'm fine here. I don't need 'social time'," she said, her voice laced with a patronising tone that she felt she was only really mirroring.

"Well now, that's not the attitude is it?" the nurse said, her voice, increasingly more grating with every word.

The nurse however, did not give up, and Olivia eventually agreed, just to get her to stop badgering her. She decided that it would be evidence in the doctor's eyes, that she was making progress.

Olivia hated the room as soon as she set foot in it. Scanning the large open planned space, she took in the rows of green cushioned chairs lining the walls. Several tables, occupied with various docile activities, windows spilling in natural light, and through them, a restricted view to a large garden. She took in the differing demeanours of the other patients. They were mostly engaged in quiet activities some playing cards, some reading, others walking together and talking.

The room was a low buzz of subdued voices and whispers. Something about that made her skin crawl - reminding her how trapped she really was.

The nurse led her to a table where she sat down with a sigh as she was handed a sheet of paper on which was an ornate design of flowers taking the form of swirly shapes. Olivia looked up at the nurse, the desire to laugh overwhelming. With great effort, she managed to suppress this, and simply looked at her, raising her eyebrow with an amused expression.

She knew she had to do what Munch had said. To keep her cool, to play along. To show them what great progress she had made so they would have no qualms about releasing her, but when the nurse placed a box of crayons on the table, explaining that she wasn't able to give her any pens or pencils, she passed her tolerance limit quickly.

She knew she should be thinking of the bigger picture - looking beyond the situation she was trapped in, but after staring hard at the box of crayons, it became impossible to remain composed.

"Seriously?" Olivia asked, bemused.

"Seriously." the nurse replied, standing over her, "you cant get well just staying in your room all day. It's relaxing and will help you focus and express yourself through colour. I'm sure you'll find it very calming. Pick a nice bright colour."

Olivia stared at the nurse, unsure whether she was being patronizing or attempting to be helpful - it was a close call. Either way, the concept of colouring with crayons while an arguably patronizing hospital official stood over her, just pushed her too far.

Her thoughts could never leave her partner, despite the disquieting nature of her own situation. It seemed ridiculous to her at first, but the realisation that she was trapped there, with almost everyone she knew believing that she had made an attempt on her own life - and being unable to do a damn thing to help Elliot - it was too much.

She couldn't help her reaction as she stood up abruptly, grabbing the box of crayons up off of the table, and hurling it at the wall, narrowly missing the nurse. For a brief moment she felt a satisfied sense of victory as the crayons hit the floor, lying there broken, the nurse staring at her in surprise.

She turned to the nurse and stared hard at her, "I don't want to colour a picture. I don't want to make friends. I don't want to have a group fucking hug. _I want_. To get the hell out of here."

Sitting in an office, having been escorted there by an orderly, she raised her eyes to meet those of the psychiatrist she had spoken to the previous day. She folded her arms as she took in the questioning gaze of the doctor.

"Tell me what happened in the social room Olivia."

Olivia looked at him in amusement, "I'm not 5, so I didn't want to colour. How about we talk about how I can get out of here instead?"

"I understand you're frustrated. How were you feeling when you had that outburst?"

Olivia stood up, dropping her arms to her sides as she gave a sardonic laugh, "How about we don't talk about the fucking crayons."

" _Ok_ , have you had suicidal thoughts before this?"

Olivia stared at him, a sigh of frustration escaping her. "Just. _Stop_. I am sick of this, over and over again. What do you want me to say? Just tell me?" she pleaded.

"Just the truth Olivia."

"OK," she sighed as she dropped back down onto the chair, meeting his eyes and she spoke. "I drunk a bottle of wine and swallowed a bottle of pills. I wanted to die. It was stupid. I scared the crap out everyone, and I'm not going to do that again. _Better_?"

Her visit with Cragen was strained. She knew that he would easily spot that she was being evasive, but she tried hard to keep Munch's warning in the forefront of her mind. She couldn't appear unstable. He was obviously greatly concerned about her state of mind, and it was difficult ground to tread.

His side of the conversation was mainly positive - he talked about bringing her back on desk duty, and assured her that because she had no long term or recurrent history of mental health issues, that getting her gun back wouldn't be a problem - not a _big_ problem anyway. Just red tape.

She didn't say much in response to him. He was trying. She could tell how hard he was trying to be positive and supportive, but she just couldn't help noticing the underlying tone of concern to his words, and the cautiousness. He was choosing his words carefully - speaking softly as if she were a victim. She knew he was scared for her, but it annoyed the hell out of her, and brought a growing sense of unease - he had already been concerned about her, now his fears were simply confirmed and he wouldn't listen if she tried to explain.

As he stood to leave, she jumped up quickly, her eyes flashing with anxiety that he was leaving so soon and she would be alone with the hospital environment again.

Munch's warning was on the forefront of her mind, but she was conflicted. If she could test the waters with Cragen, just get a feel for how receptive he might be to hearing her out - she couldn't let him leave without trying.

"Don….would you..would you believe me if I said I didn't try to kill myself?" she stammered, instantly annoyed with herself for sounding far from confident and assertive.

Cragen looked at her with surprise and concern at her sudden words, and placed his hand on her arm, "Olivia, _it's ok_. No one is going to look at you any differently, it's not going to affect your job. You needed to talk to a therapist, and I hadn't pushed you enough to do that. I should have made it a condition of you returning. At least now you can start to get help and get through this. You don't need to deny what happened, you're not at fault here. You're grieving, and you need help to handle it. _That's ok."_

 _Her heart sunk at his words, his concern for her simply blinded him to what she was trying to tell him. She felt practically despondent at his reaction._

Cragen pulled her into a hug, before stepping away, watching her cautiously, "We're all here for you Olivia. _Just focus on getting well."_

 _On the third day, after a session which left her crying in anger and frustration, she finally managed to repeat essentially the same words, but with far more conviction this time. She was only too aware of how close she was to the 72 hold ending and the implications for her if she could not put up a convincing enough act._

Sitting in the same social room that irritated the hell out of her, but unfortunately doubled as the visitor room, Olivia and Munch sat on the green chairs that they had pulled over to the window. They both sat in relative ease, resting their heads back on the soft cushioned headrests as they looked out through the grille covering the window. The view of the large garden outside was a welcome change to the stifling glare of the artificial lights throughout much of the hospital.

Olivia turned her head to face Munch who mirrored her pose, "don't get too comfortable, they might make you for one of the patients and get you a room. Beyond the comfortable chairs, believe me, it's no fun."

Munch gave a small smile in response, recognising that she was trying to remain positive.

"Why is everything green?" she asked, "This muted green colour - it's everywhere. I can't stand it."

"Colour Psychology. Green represents equilibrium between the head and the heart. It's reportedly calming." Munch said.

Olivia turned towards the window, looking out through the bars across the garden. "It just makes me want to throw up."

"They have to release you as soon as they decide you are not a risk to yourself - you're in the final 24 hours now, they need to tell you one way or another soon." he said.

Olivia visibly tensed at his words, lowering her voice to a whisper, she instantly felt angry at herself as tears built behind her eyes.

" _One way or another?_ You think they're going to keep me here? Christ Munch, I can't stay here any longer. They won't even let me brush my teeth without supervising. For God's sake what the hell am I going to do with a toothbrush? And why can't I eat in my room alone if all I have is plastic cutlery?" she paused, exhaling slowly, trying to remain calm "Why has everyone just accepted the story that I attempted suicide?"

"Because it easier to label you as unstable than it is to consider that you were framed because you were seeking the truth. Sometimes when people get close to the truth, become vocal, expose something - those with the power and means use hospitalization as a way to silence them. Take Gustl Mollath, for one. He uncovered a major tax fraud cover up at a banking institution. He was locked up in a place like this for 7 years. There were plenty who believed him - but it took years for the truth to be officially accepted and for him to be released. There's also the case of.."

"Munch, please stop!" Olivia said as she stared at him in amazement and exasperation, "I don't want to hear this! This isn't helping me!" Taking another deep breath, she released it slowly, "We need to talk to Cragen."

"Telling Cragen someone abducted Elliot, faked his death and tried to kill you and make it look like suicide, is your fast track ticket for an extended stay in these luxury surroundings. He wants to help you, and he will think he's doing the right thing by you and impart that information to your doctors. Then you are guaranteed to be eating with plastic cutlery for considerably longer."

"I shouldn't be here at all, there's nothing wrong with me. _Please_ \- bust me out, do something - just get me out of here." She said.

"Liv, you have less than 24 hours left now. Let's see what happens next. If they don't let you out, I'll get you representation, and If that doesn't work - one way or another, you _are_ getting out of here _._ You are not going to be held here for months - you'll be free to dine alone again very soon - _you have my word_."

Lying on the bed in the sparse room, Olivia closed her eyes, and with nothing but her thoughts to occupy her, her mind quickly drifted toward Elliot. She was somewhat comforted by that. With no calendar or clock, no cellphone, or television, the time had stretched on and on. When she wasn't talking to psychiatrists or nurses, she was simply alone with her thoughts; and they always drifted straight to her partner.

In an attempt to block out the room, and the situation she was now in, the effect it could have on her job and her reputation, she let her mind drift to the crib. She imagined Elliot lying on a bed next to her, just the two of them in the room, his jacket hanging over a chair, his arm draped across his broad chest. She would roll onto her side, just to watch the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the peaceful, relaxed look as he slept.

She had seen him asleep more times that she could begin to count, but she wondered; what would he have done if she had sat down on the edge of his bed. When it was time to wake him; lean down, her lips brushing very lightly against his cheek as she whispered to him, her breath against his skin as his name passed through her lips in a whisper.

He would wake, disorientated for a brief moment as she pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. It would be so easy to cover his mouth with hers, close that final distance between them and finally just kiss him. She had tried not to think about it for so long, but with nothing to do _but_ think, she had time to sort out her jumbled, confused mess of repressed emotions.

She felt angry, at whoever was responsible for the whole mess her and Elliot were now in, but at herself too. It had taken an apparent tragedy for her to admit her feelings toward Elliot, and she needed to find him, help him out of whatever the hell he was involved in _and tell him that_. Just throw all her insecurities and fears to the wayside and be honest. Look him in the eye and tell him she was in love with him, to hell with risk and consequences. Life suddenly seemed very short, and she couldn't live a lie with her feelings any longer.

 _She just had to find Elliot first._

Olivia winced as the distant sound of screaming drifted into her mind. Barely awake, she slowly opened her eyes, her heart instantly sinking as her eyes met the same pale cream and green walls that she had fallen asleep to. Nothing had changed.

She stared up at the ceiling - a large grey smudge that she had focused her sight on constantly, still there. She had begun to feel sick at the mere sight of that mark above her now. If it were at all possible, then she was sure that she hated that ceiling, the pale, sickly green colour of the walls, and the sound which would pierce the quiet of her room in approximately five minutes.

The screaming grew increasingly quieter until finally it ceased, and Olivia turned her head at the distant sound of a door slamming and bolting loudly. True to form, the irritating and far too familiar sound of the metal observation hatch sliding open, filled her room sharply.

Olivia stared hard in the direction of the small window, but with the height of it, she had never been able to meet the eyes of whomever was performing the checks.

Sighing as the window was pulled quickly closed again, she turned on her side, turning her focus to the band of light streaming in through the skylight.

The skylight was the only source of natural light in the room, and Olivia focused on it whenever she could bear the too familiar room no longer.

She made a conscious decision to tolerate whatever banal, mindless activity they had scheduled next in the social room, and declare that a good sleep had given her new perspective. She just had to convince them that she was going to be ok.

She could endure the lack of personal privacy, the restrictions on her clothing and movements, and even do some damn colouring if she had to. She just had to get out, and find Elliot.

 _Because the hell her partner was in might be a whole lot worse than enforced crayon drawing on cushioned chairs._

 **In chapter 5: Cragen finds out what Munch is doing, and Olivia's 72 hours are almost up. Fin knows munch is up to something and resolves to figure it out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Dedicated to Woodster93, one of my favourite EO writers - happy birthday!**

 **chapter 5**

Fin sat at his desk, an hour into paperwork, and still no end in sight. He appeared immersed, but he was well aware of his partner in his peripheral vision. Well aware that he was doing something other than the paperwork they had expected to be doing most of the day. He knew that Munch was up to something - something was going on, no one else would notice, but Fin had been partners with Munch for a very long time, and _he_ knew.

His partner was hiding something.

Fin briefly wondered whether he should ask him, but then thought better of it. The paperwork was giving him a headache as it was - an hour of Munch`s latest government cover up theory would not make his headache any better.

Still, as much as Fin joked at Munch's expense, he respected him, and he had a niggling feeling that something was happening. Turning his attention back to his never ending stack of paperwork, he made a mental note to figure out what Munch was up to without actually asking him.

 _And if Munch had gotten himself involved in something - then he would be there and have his back._

Munch glanced at his cellphone cautiously - aware of not drawing attention to the fact that he had a second cell phone which he was anxious to see the notifications on. Slipping it back into his pocket, he sighed and relaxed slightly. They finally had a lead - something to bite, after trawling through phone records and financials had hit a brick wall. Now he finally had confirmation, flashing reassuringly on the phone in his pocket, that they had something.

 _That something, could be the key that would solve Elliot`s disappearance, and get him back home._

"Munch," Cragen's voice broke through his thoughts slightly, only just registering.

"MUNCH!" Cragen's voice, almost startled him, and the irritation which he couldn't avoid noticing made him stand cautiously, and remain guarded as he walked towards Cragen's office.

Cragen gestured for him to sit down, and closed the door with a defeated sigh. "Just tell me what the hell you were thinking?"

Munch decided to play it cool, until he could figure out what Cragen actually had on him.

"If you're referring to our brief conversation in the elevator this morning, then you really need to have a more open mind. It's not just what i'm thinking - many people believe that…"

"MUNCH!" Cragen shouted, exasperated at his obvious attempt to evade the conversation.

"Captain, I don't know what this is about…" Munch said, warily.

"Don't give me that Munch - I swear to God these past few weeks have aged me twenty years. Olivia is like a daughter to me. We've all lost one of our own, Elliot was more than a part of the team, he was a part of our family, and Olivia is very vulnerable at the moment."

Munch shifted slightly in his seat, hoping that the conversation was not going in the direction he expected it was.

Cragen looked at him, and shook his head, "Don't sit there and pretend you have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Captain, what do you think I've done?" Munch asked, raising his hands in mock surrender.

Cragen sat down heavily in his chair, running a hand over his tired face. Dropping his hand wearily to his desk, he leaned back in his chair and took a long hard look at Munch.

Munch remained collected as he looked back at him, waiting to see where it would lead.

"Why the hell did you tell Olivia that Elliot wasn't dead?"

Munch tensed, not expecting such a direct accusation.

"Did she say that?"

"John, she attempted suicide! Jesus Christ, what were you thinking?" he said, his voice rising in anger as he stood and rounded his desk to stand in front of Munch, leaning back slightly, easing his weight against the desk.

Munch sighed and met his eyes earnestly "I didn't tell her that. I was concerned about her when she said she thought he was alive, so initially I told her quite the opposite; I told her he was dead, that we were all at his funeral."

"You _told her he was dead_? Why the hell do I have an entire conversation between you two on record then?"

Munch's eyes widened slightly at the realisation that they had been inadvertently recorded.

"What?"

"That's all you have to say? _Listen_ to this!"

Cragen returned to the other side of his desk, and hit a button on his keyboard. after an awkward moment of silence Olivia and Munch's voices filled the air, and Munch closed his eyes in defeat.

" _If we talked to Fin - we could convince him to help us…" Olivia said._

" _Liv, he'll think you're losing it, don't tell anyone about this. You have no idea who is involved, who knows the truth about where Elliot really is. We need concrete evidence before we share this with anyone else. We get that, then we go to Fin and Cragen. For now though, let's keep this under the radar - we can find Elliot - I don't know what the truth is here - but the one truth we can rely on is that Stabler is not dead."_

Cragen ended the recording and stared wearily at Munch. Munch stared back, thrown by their private conversation replayed.

"What the hell do you have to say for yourself?!" Cragen said angrily.

With a sigh, Munch decided that he had nothing left to lose and attempted to offer an explanation. "Captain. Her evidence was compelling enough that I had to consider it. I am positive. She was drugged. Set up to look like a suicide attempt - the tricyclics could have been fed into her stomach using a gastric tube while she was unconscious. There's no evidence of that because the tubes used to pump her stomach cause the same indications. _Look into it._ Get her medical report. What did they pump out? If there were no solid pills there then either she took the whole bottle, hours beforehand giving them time to breakdown in her system, but which point she would have been _dead_ by the time I found her, or someone did this to her."

Cragen stared at him incredulously, "Listen to yourself! This is damn crazy, even for you! She needs to deal with Elliot's death and she needs our support, _all_ of us, to survive this. You've put this crazy idea into her head - and she's going to hang onto that because she doesn't want to let him go. _You're checking her mail for his prints_!" Cragen let out a defeated sigh, "What did you suggest had happened to Elliot, John? Alien abduction? Or is it the CIA? _You've gone too far!_ "

Munch remained silent, knowing it would be futile to speak any words in his own defense when Cragen would not be prepared to listen to the truth. He flinched slightly as Cragen's voice rose in anger, realising that his captain wasn't going to just reprimand him and let it go.

"You convinced a grieving, vulnerable colleague and friend that her partner was still alive - you were with her at his funeral John! You saw the hell she went through - the hell she is _still_ going through. You've taken advantage of her vulnerability and pushed one of your crazy theories on her. You tipped her over the edge - I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'll have noone left in SVU if this bullshit keeps going on. Hand over your badge and gun."

"How long?" Munch sighed, as he placed his gun on the desk, then unclipped his badge, pausing for a brief moment while he considered trying again to explain the situation to his captain. Deciding that it was not the best move on his part, he sighed, and placed his badge next to his gun.

"Two weeks. Then I want you talking to Huang. In fact, I want you to see him before you leave. I can't even work out if she's sucked you into her fantasy, or you've pulled her into yours - but you need a damn shrink as much as Olivia does."

 **HOSPITAL, LATER THAT DAY.**

Olivia sat in a large office, where a hospital official sat at the other side of a desk. Having discussed the proceedings with Munch, she fully expected him to be there. She was only given basic information about her rights as a patient, but Munch knew so much more. Seeing Cragen there instead unsettled her. She knew he only wanted to look out for her, but Munch was the only one who was concerned with getting her out of the hospital.

"Olivia, I need to talk to you before they get started," whispered Cragen as he leaned towards her. Olivia turned to look at him with confusion, the urgency in his voice surprising her.

"What is it?" she asked warily.

"You need to be prepared for what's going to happen here."

Olivia eyed him cautiously, becoming guarded immediately at his words.

"What's going to happen?" she whispered, suddenly wishing they were having a more private conversation.

"You had a talk with Munch in interrogation. The tape was left recording from the interview he and Fin had just before you went in there. Liv, _I'm sorry_ , but as your captain I have a duty of care to you. If you seriously believe that Elliot is not dead - and considering that you attempted suicide 3 days ago….. I had to talk to your doctor. "

Olivia's eyes widened in shock at the admission, " _Why did you do that_? Don, they won't let me out of here - what the hell did you say?"

As Olivia's doctor entered and took a seat, they had little choice but to stop talking. She turned to face him and the other official, but took in none of what they said. She felt sick and anxious, as the time passed and a summary of her apparently worrying mental hygiene status was read out.

" _I'm sorry detective Benson, but the hospital would be failing you if we released you at this point. We have obtained an order to hold you for a further 14 days for evaluation. There will be a certification review hearing in 4 days and we will transfer you to a more appropriate facility..."_

Olivia heard little else - it all became white noise to her as her mind raced to process the words.

Abruptly standing, she ran a hand through her hair before dropping her arm back to her side and turning to face Cragen.

"How can you do this to me?" she said, angrily fighting the tears that threatened to spill at any moment. " _How the hell could you do this_? I haven't done anything wrong and I'm being treated like a perp. I didn't take an overdose, I swear to you. I was set up. Ask Munch, _he believes me_ \- talk to him."

"Olivia," Cragen said, his voice gravely serious, "Munch has exacerbated this situation and I have to ask myself whether you would be in here if he hadn't done. I'm sorry, I know he has been a big support to you, but he has at some point, become the opposite. You can't start to get well if he is fuelling your fantasy. The hospital are not going to be allowing him to visit you right now."

Olivia gave a humorless laugh as she walked towards the wall opposite Cragen - staring at the display filled with posters offering support services for patients, friends and relatives.

Turning around, she leaned against the wall and folded her arms as she blinked back tears and stared hard at him.

"I have a right to visitors, none of you can stop me seeing Munch."

The doctor moved to stand in front of Olivia, ensuring she was listening, "Olivia, if a person is deemed to be making your condition worse, hindering your recovery, then we can limit _who_ visits you. You are of course free to use the telephone and if you choose to call Detective Munch, no one will stop you."

"He isn't _hindering_ anything - he's the only one of you who knows what's going on here!" she said, as she turned to face Cragen, not bothering this time, to wipe away the tears that she was only vaguely aware were falling. "I have to find Elliot!"

Her heart dropped as she saw the expression on Cragen's face - the mix of fear and pity, that she never wanted to see directed at her from him.

"You need to be here right now Olivia, I'm sorry." he said.

Olivia stared hard at him, her voice thick with emotion as she spoke.

" _How could you do this to me_?"

 **chapter 6 - Munch talks to Fin, and Olivia is honest with the doctors - but will that help or hinder?**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Munch stood, leaning against the wall as he eyed Huang cautiously. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he took note that other than pleasantries, little had been said for the first twelve minutes of the session. He pondered whether he could fill the remaining 33 minutes in much the same way, thus avoiding discussing Olivia and Elliot at all.

Huang however, despite not turning around to look at the clock, or glance at his watch, appeared uncannily aware of how much time had passed.

"Tell me why you're here Munch."

Munch looked away and sighed, focusing on the clock behind Huang again, before meeting his eyes.

"I am here," he began, with a sardonic smile, "because I have corrupted the previously sane and rational mind of my friend and colleague. It's a good thing she's locked up, or she would be out there investigating crop circles and making her way to Area 51 as we speak."

Huang regarded his sarcastic come back to the question with interest, fully expecting Munch to meet his questions with humour and avoidance, but noting the defensive undertone.

"Patients are not hospitalised involuntarily without good reason Munch. Olivia is there for a very serious reason. You know that - you were the first on the scene, you found her and called for medical help. You saved her life. You know as well as any one of us that she attempted suicide."

Munch peered at him over the rim of his glasses and shook his head. "How do you want me to respond to that? If I deny that course of events, you will take it as evidence of my insanity. If I agree, you will take it as evidence of _Olivia's_ insanity. Either way, this is a no win situation."

"It's not about winning, it's about helping this squad recover from a loss which has impacted you all greatly."

Munch chuckled and sank back into the chair, meeting Huang's watchful gaze with one of frustration and defense."Ah, so it's not just the two of us that are crazy then, and there I was, expecting you to tell me how Olivia and I have become hopelessly lost in a folie à deux." Munch said.

"The concept of a shared delusion is something I _am_ considering," Huang said, as he watched Munch curiously.

Munch sat back in his chair and returned Huang's look with one of slight amusement. Despite the seriousness of the situation, the concept that he and Olivia would have somehow fallen into the same shared hallucination about Elliot was so unrealistic, that he would have laughed had both Olivia and Elliot's well being not been at stake.

He rested his hands on his knees and leaned forward, looking at Huang intently. "You've just accepted what you've been told, but why are _you_ here? You're here because Captain Cragen told you I was crossing that line of sanity that Olivia has seemingly sailed right over. Ask yourself why he thinks that. Ask why we all accepted Elliot's death - just the same as we accept front page news on a national newspaper. Ask yourself why we don't question. Why we laugh at those who do, or label them as unstable. Stop and think for a moment, and disregard what appears to be right in front of you. Look further, because there lies answers, and uncomfortable truths."

"Munch - I understand that you believe what Olivia is saying. Have you checked her claims? Or have you taken her words at face value, because perhaps you are struggling with Elliot's death too, and want to believe her as much as she wants this to be true."

Munch sighed, "I called Kathy, I called his kids, I checked with his mother - not one of them sent that to Olivia. His prints are all over it - and before you say of course they are because it belongs to him, they were all over the packaging too - in an almost exaggerated way - he wanted us to find his prints."

"What if Olivia wanted to believe this so badly that she fabricated this?" Huang said, carefully taking note of Munch's reaction. "She's grieving and she's not thinking rationally. I'm not saying she misled you deliberately, rather that she needed someone else to give her fantasy credibility."

Munch stared at him, disappointed but unsurprised. "Well in that case, she will just need to wait patiently in the nut house until her New World Order membership is approved, and then they'll come and rescue her."

 **Hospital**

Olivia sat in a chair - another psychiatrist office, several miles away. She too had remained silent initially - she felt there was little point in trying to explain anything as the doctor wasn't going to listen. The more she tried to convince him of the situation's reality, the sicker he thought she was. After her outburst however, she was walking on thin ice. She had declared to the doctor that she had been set up and that Elliot was alive - even Cragen believed that she was delusional at this point.

 _It seemed a waste of breathe to even try._

"Tell me about Elliot," the doctor said from his seat opposite her.

Olivia sighed and focused behind him, on the large brass paperweight adoring his desk. She did not want to make eye contact, and she did not want to have a conversation about Elliot. There was far too much at stake to make any more mistakes, so much damage had already been done.

"What do you want to know about him?" she asked in defeat.

"What was your relationship like?"

"We... The relationship, the right word would be close," said Olivia, aware of the attention that the doctor would pay to her choice of tense, and confused as to whether she should revert to agreeing with the doctors that Elliot was dead, or continue in her candour.

She was unsure of the right thing to say anymore - it seemed whatever she did they found further evidence of her insanity.

"You were partners for a long time, and he was married for most of that period. Is that correct?"

Olivia lowered her eyes and sighed before returning her focus to the doctor and looking directly at him. "Where are you going with this?"

"You're not in a relationship - in our earlier session we talked about how hard you felt it was to maintain a relationship given your job. Perhaps though, it's more your feelings toward your partner that influenced your relationship decisions. You may have unconsciously steered yourself towards the wrong people, because the alternative would have meant settling for somebody else."

Olivia shook her head, with little else to distract her from a conversation she did not want to have with a stranger. Her gaze focused on the desk behind the doctor once again, "We both know - _we knew_...what we are to each other. We just...we didn't... we didn't say it."

"Do you love him?"

Olivia met her doctor's eyes in a second, and looked at him earnestly, "Yes, I do."

"He was married - although divorced for the past year. Were you the reason for his divorce?"

"What? No, it wasn't like that. I...we never, God, we never even kissed. There were lines we just didn't cross."

"You regret that now?" said the doctor.

"Of course I do, I don't need a psychiatrist to tell me I'm in love with partner, I worked that out for myself,' she said.

'You realised your feelings, and your regret - it impacted with your grief. That's what creates delusions Olivia. It's our need to change the past, to have a second chance. As his partner you survived the explosion and he did not. You have created this scenario that he is still alive out there somewhere, because you want to redeem yourself and save him this time. And once you have saved him, you will have that chance to tell him you love him."

Olivia stared at him incredulously, her limit reached, "I'm not playing this game anymore. My partner is alive and needs help. If I could get out of here then I could prove it! I need to be out there, working to find him."

"You're a detective, Olivia. Do you trust the team you work with? Are they competent detectives?" he asked.

"Of course they are, I trust them all implicitly."

"Well, then think about that before we speak again. If a team of competent detectives do not believe what you are saying, then maybe it is time to consider that your mind has created this scenario that your partner is still alive."

Olivia stood up abruptly, running her hand through her hair, as she raised her voice, "They think they're doing the right thing. _Munch believes me,_ and he's a damn good detective, so don't sit there spouting this bullshit. I was set up!"

"Sit down Olivia, I really don't want to see you end up in the quiet room."

"What the hell is that?" Olivia said angrily.

"If you are too agitated then we wouldn't be able to risk returning you to your room. The quiet room is a place of safety for you as much as everyone else around you."

Olivia stared hard at me, "You're threatening me with _solitary_? Because I'm _agitated_? Of course I'm fucking agitated!"

"It's not solitary Olivia, it's a safe space. Now I do need you to calm down, and sit down."

"Or what? You're gonna get someone to drag me there?"

Olivia froze as she met the gaze of her psychiatrist who simply remained silent as he watched her carefully. Realising that being forcibly taken to the psychiatric equivalent of solitary confinement was a real possibility, instantly made her feel cold and sick.

She complied, spoke calmly, answered his questions with responses she felt he wanted to hear - but she could tell. His expression gave little away, but there had been a shift. He recognised her reaction when threatened with being forcibly confined - she dreaded the questions he would ask. She would evade - to hell with it if he thought she was hiding something, there was no way she was going to talk about Sealview.

Once she was finally allowed to return to her room, she sat on her bed, leaning back against the metal railing that served as a headboard. She closed her eyes, and gave in to tears as she realised just how powerless she had become. She rested her head in her hands as she tried hard to block out the barrage of horrible memories her mind was plaguing her with.

Whatever she did, she couldn't stop thinking about it - the memory engulfed her, suffocating and haunting. The feel of his hands on her as he led her to the basement, the moment she realised how serious the situation she was in truly was, the words he tormented her with, the fear, the panic, the hopelessness.

She couldn't allow anyone to take her back to that place in her head - she had spent too long building herself back up to be consumed by it all again.

She had to get out of there, before she ended up being dragged back to that dark place in her mind which she had finally risen above.

 _There had to be a way out._

 **PRECINCT**

Munch grabbed what he needed from his desk, and put his coat on, glancing at Fin and shaking his head before turning to leave "See you in two weeks,"

He made it into the elevator, and out to his car before Fin caught up with him.

"Munch, wait! What the hell is going on?"

Munch stood with his car door open and sighed, realising his quick escape hadn't quite gone to plan.

He regarded his partner with seriousness, debating whether to bring him into the mess that he and Olivia were now in.

" _Elliot is not dead_ ," he simply said, as he gauged his reaction in the seconds following his abrupt statement.

Fin just stared back, bewildered, "You think Stabler's not dead. Whose funeral were we at then? You told Cragen that and now he thinks you've lost it and suspended you?"

"That's about right," Munch sighed. "Get in, I'll explain, but I have to make a stop first. I'll fill you in on the way, but you're gonna have to accept something that will sound far fetched and crazy."

Fin gave a laugh as he walked around to the other side of the car and got in, "That aint gonna be a problem. Been your partner for more than a decade - I can handle far fetched and crazy."

Fin had listened, not interrupting and waiting until Munch had imparted everything he knew. He felt very conflicted, and it was hard not to let his disbelief show,

"You called it in Munch - you told the dispatcher she had OD'd and was unresponsive. _She_ might be denying it, but that doesn't mean you gotta believe her. I know you wanna show her you have her back, we all do - but shit, they pumped her stomach. You can't deny what she'd taken."

"Fin," Munch sighed, "I need her medical report so I can get proof, but I am certain they didn't see any solid pills, and she just couldn't have taken a whole bottle of that stuff. I spoke to her on the phone less than two hours before I found her. She wouldn't have been coherent on the phone if she had taken that much. She knew I was going to be there in under two hours - she was anxious for me to get there so we could go through some evidence - she was not despondent, she was not sitting there plotting to kill herself - she was plotting, with _me_ , to locate Elliot." he paused, relieved to see that Fin was listening to him, and taking it in.

Fin stared at him incredulously, but did not offer a response, waiting for Munch to continue.

"The analysis of the contents of her stomach will give a timeframe for when the drugs got into her system - and I promise you, she was sedated and given them by force, not long after she ended the phone call with me. I know how crazy this sounds, but it can be done by a feeding tube if the pills were crushed up, or even in liquid form."

Fin sat back in the car seat and shook his head, "You know I'm always gonna back your play, you're my partner...but Liv - she's aint been very together since El died. What if she _did_ O.D. Munch? Maybe she was scared and wanted you to find her - he _is_ officially dead. We were at his funeral... _look_ , let me help. If I can show you she did OD - then you gotta believe that, _and stop with the crazy_. She needs to get well."

"You dig then my friend, and you try and _find the crazy_ if you can, but when you _don't_ find it - start digging in the right direction and help Olivia. She's gonna have a fight to get her gun back after this - if she'd got out after the 72 hour hold it would have been easier - but it's gonna be a harder road for her now. She's locked up, she could lose her job, and she's losing credibility fast. Whoever did this to her, certainly have her right where they want her."

 **chapter 7 is longer and takes us in another direction. Everything in this story is here for a reason; Kathy is only in it fleetingly, but her upcoming scene is necessary. If you have time before reading the next chapter, please watch Zebra's. I realise that not everyone knows that episode word for word like me lol! Concentrate on the bookstore scene. ;-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Did you watch Zebra's? Pop the DVD on now, and read this right after to refresh your memory on the person who has a cameo here (well first of three cameos!)**

 **I've lost my Chromebook charger which is a slight disaster and means I can't write on my commute, but I'm still 9 chapters ahead thankfully!**

 **CHAPTER 7**

 **HOSPITAL**

Olivia glanced over her shoulder, watching the nurse with caution. She sat, leafing through paperwork, and appeared not to be interested in her telephone call, but Olivia was sure she was paying attention and would be picking up on anything she said which would indicate that she was 'unwell'.

Tensing, and wondering whether she was beginning to succumb to paranoia, she made a call, waiting anxiously for Munch to pick up.

"Munch, you have to help me. They said they were moving me somewhere and I don't know where."

"They have to tell you _where_ Olivia, remember what we talked through - about your rights as a patient? They can't keep that from you."

" _Tell them that_. You said you'd get me representation, please say you've got someone."

"Don't worry Liv, just hang tight and things are going to be looking a whole lot brighter before long. I gave you my word, and I have someone arranged, but we need time to prepare."

"How long will it take? If they have to make a case, it could take days..then they need a date, then independent assessments….they'll be a hearing in 4 days, and I haven't even spoken to the patients rights advocate.."

" _Olivia_ ," Munch said, interrupting her anxiety driven train of thought, "just wait it out, and I promise you, you are on your way to getting out of there."

"How am I getting out of here John? They certified me - even Cragen thinks I'm insane. You're the one person who believes me and they won't let you in here. They think I created a fantasy because I felt guilt over not saving Elliot. They won't consider the evidence, even though it's right in front of them if they just look!"

"Sadly, there's a lot of that going around. The conclusion in the psych department is that you needed to trick me, so I would blindly support you in your mental collapse as you slipped into a delusional paranoid world."

Olivia gave a humourless laugh, " _What the hell are we going to do?"_

 **ONE DAY LATER**.

Olivia was acutely aware that she was running out of time before she was moved. She sat with that thought occupying her, as she raised her eyes wearily to meet the ever watchful gaze of her psychiatrist.

"Tell me what you remember from the night you overdosed Olivia."

Olivia sighed, "I had a glass of wine - _just one_. I was barely even half way through it. I needed to stay focused. Munch was coming over and we were going to compare notes on our investigation. I was trawling through paperwork - I was concentrating. I got tired, fell asleep. After then it's disjointed. Other people were there. They held me down - I _know_ I was not alone. It's hazy after that but I woke in the hospital."

"Olivia. Have you ever had a blackout before?"

Olivia stared at him incredulously, "What? What the hell are you accusing me of?"

"You drunk far more than one glass - you finished the entire bottle."

"No. No, I didn't. "

"You then swallowed a large quantity of pills that you had been prescribed, and you blacked out. You don't remember your actions while you were drunk. The only person who was there with you was Detective Munch, he gained access to your apartment and tried to revive you. You were alone, drunk, and took an overdose Olivia."

Olivia stood up abruptly, "No! I never filled that prescription! I swear to God I didn't fill it! Check the cameras at the pharmacy! I was never there!" she paused, taking a breath, attempting to calm her racing thoughts and the adrenalin which was coursing through her.

"There were several empty bottles of wine in your trash Olivia. There is evidence that you have been drinking heavily recently. Memory loss and confusion - it's all very common with alcohol abuse. Given the loss that you have suffered, it is understandable that you have found a crutch in alcohol and substance misuse."

Olivia stared at him incredulously, "I would _never_ turn to alcohol, or pills. My mother would be here today if it wasn't for alcohol. I grew up with the effects of addiction - I saw it. Every. Single. Day. I won't do that to myself. If there are empty bottles in my trash, they sure as hell aren't mine - someone planted them there. I'm not an alcoholic. God! This is insane. This is so fucking insane."

"You stated that your memory of that evening was hazy. Given that, can you really be certain that you didn't take those pills?"

"If you are so convinced, then prove it. Prove to me that I did it!" she said, aware that she was raising her voice and losing her composure.

"The evidence is clear Olivia. The medical report, Detective Munch calling the EMS having found you unresponsive, the fact that you have experienced a loss, resulting in severe psychological trauma..."

"This is bullshit. _Someone did this to me_." she said, her voice low and steady, as she watched him, "I was drugged. This was all staged. Whoever is responsible for faking Elliot's death, knew he had reached out to me and tried to silence me. And they did a damn good job, _didn't they?_ because even my captain had a hand in keeping me in here."

"Olivia, if someone is trying to silence or kill you, why just you? Why not detective Munch too? He's as involved in this... _scenario_ as you are."

"You can sit here all day and tell me this is in my mind, but you are not going to mess with my head and make me believe this. Elliot sent that to me. He reached out to me. That's why they came after me. They didn't know that I'd spoken to Munch. I'm the one on their radar right now, but he will be next once they realise he's involved too."

Leaning against the wall, she crossed her arms and looked at the doctor, exhausted from trying to explain. "When they come after Munch too, then maybe you will all start listening. _Don't let it come to that."_

She asked for forensic evidence - blood work reports, that must show that she had been drugged, evidence that a foreign object had been in her throat to show that the drugs had been forcibly propelled into her stomach. The doctor simply rebutted each of her claims; any drugs in her system were evidence of her substance abuse which seemed to now be a new accusation they were hell bent on proving. The abrasions in her throat, were common with the tubes used to lavage. Evidence only pointed to emergency medical procedures that had been necessary to save her life or her apparent substance misuse.

She had talked around in circles for the rest of the session, refusing to engage any further, and simply answered his questions with basic, murted responses. She knew this would only give him more ammunition against her - but it seemed that whatever she did, the doctors found evidence of her delusional state of mind. Every observation they took, appeared clouded by their judgement and non negotiable diagnosis.

The session ended with the doctor explaining a treatment plan, including medication, which Olivia promptly refused to take.

Finally alone in her room, she tried to focus on her own thoughts as she battled to recall the sequence of events. The doctor's words - which to her appeared more basely as veiled threats, swam in her mind. She didn't speak anymore after he informed her that if she didn't take the prescribed medication that it would be highly unlikely that she would be released after 14 days. She felt numb as she tried to remain composed, knowing any outburst would go against her, but it seemed her silence would too.

She tried to let his words bounce of her, but they pierced her composure far more easily that she wanted them to as he told her in no uncertain terms that they would obtain an order to force her to comply with their treatment plan.

 _Afterall, if she was delusional, then she couldnt very well make a rational informed decision about her medication._

It scared her that everyone else was so damn certain about what had happened. Her own memory was so disjointed that she couldn't recall the timeline or the actual events in any coherent order, or with enough clarity to make sense of it in her own mind.

With access to the internet she could have researched. With access to a lab, her original bloodwork to rerun, her friends working to uncover the truth - with all of those things, she would be able to investigate and get to the truth.

As it stood however, she was cut off from any ability to investigate and provide evidence for herself. Her friends were too concerned with damaging her apparently fragile psyche to entertain her claims, and the only person who believed her, was not allowed to visit her.

 _It was a mess._

 **KATHY STABLER'S HOUSE**

Across the other side of the city, Kathy Stabler frowned as she placed her phone back on the kitchen counter. She hadn't liked Maureen continuing with her plans to travel for a year, especially so soon after her father's death, but to go off the radar, to not even leave a message - she was concerned. The one message she had received had been difficult to listen to.

Maureen had been tearful, saying she was sorry but she couldn't stand to remain in the house - she had to get away and clear her head. She would call, in time, but she needed space.

Space.

 _Maureen just needed space._

Kathy sighed and glanced through the doorway into the living room, seeing her other children together; Lizzie playing with Eli, Dickie glued to his phone, a habit which Kathy made a mental note that she would need to curb.

Her eyes locked with Kathleen's and they looked wordlessly at each other, until Kathleen walked over to her, stopping the other side of the kitchen counter.

"Did she pick up? I know you tried to call her again. Is Maureen ok?'

Kathy sighed, unsurprised at her daughter's observations, but annoyed at herself for not being discreet enough, "She's fine. she just needs to cool down. She'll talk to us all soon. But Kathleen...if she calls you, tell me...ok?"

"Sure mom," said Kathleen as she turned around and walked back to the living room, casting a brief concerned glance at her mother before she returned to join in the game with Eli and Lizzie.

Kathy let her eyes fall to the phone on the counter, almost willing it to ring.

 _Maureen just needed space._

 **Olivia Benson's Apartment**

Munch gained access easily to Olivia's apartment, given that the super remembered him as the one who recognised that something was wrong and got Olivia to the hospital. That fact meant that convincing him to let him in was no challenge. The super made small talk, and Munch nodded, thanking him for his help, as he ushered him out of the door and closed it.

Exhaling hard, he glanced around, surveying Olivia's apartment. Given that nobody considered it a crime scene, he knew it was down to him to check the place over. But he didn't have a crime scene unit to assist, so it was an arduous task of looking for signs of a struggle or signs of forced entry.

The coffee table was pushed back, and the television remote was lying on the floor, along with a magazine. Other than that, the room appeared tidy and nothing stood out obviously as a point of concern.

He spent thirty minutes searching Olivia's apartment, and while he found no signs of a struggle, the lack of paperwork, which he knew that she had been working on, was the red flag.

Moving into her bedroom, he began to open her cupboards until he found a large holdall, and unzipped it. Hesitating for a moment, feeling awkward at being in her private space, he shook it off, and opened her closet, grabbing some random items off of hangers and quickly folding them, before putting them into the bag.

Moving back into the living room, he sat down on her couch and took out his cellphone.

Three missed calls, flagged up on his screen: 1 from Fin, and two from friends who owed him favours. Six text messages, two voicemails.

Dialling a number, he reclined on Olivia's couch - he had a lot of work to do by the morning, a lot of favours to pull in and a lot of favors he was going to end up owing.

 **HOSPITAL - THE FOLLOWING DAY**

Olivia heard the sound of her door opening and chose not to look up. She knew she was close to being transferred to someplace that could be even worse, and she was contemplating refusing to leave without speaking with the patients rights advocate. A psych ward was bad enough but a dedicated hospital seemed far more ominous. However, she knew that a simple refusal on her part to cooperate would not do her any good. They would move her against her will if she didn't comply, and that was scenario she did not want to happen.

She knew that she needed to be cordial and cooperative with the hospital staff and she was also aware that if she went along with them willingly, a moment could present that she could use to escape. She had ran the possibilities through her mind repeatedly - rest room stops, gas stations - anywhere that she could physically get out of what was undoubtedly a secure vehicle, would be her means of potential escape.

Deep in thought, she was suddenly aware of a nurse standing at the end of her bed, coughing in an exaggerated manner to get her attention.

"Hi _Olivia_ ," she said, a slight uncertainty lacing her voice as she continued so speak. Her words sounding almost scripted, and full of nervous energy. I'm your _nurse_ today and I'll be escorting you to your transport."

Olivia looked up - staring stunned at the nurse, who looked at her with a barely controlled anxious stare.

Recognising her instantly, Olivia grew from utterly confused to concerned in a split second.

"Gwen…." she said in confusion, "you're _Gwen_ , John's ex wife….?" Olivia said, baffled by this sudden turn of events.

Gwen smiled hesitantly, shifting her stance nervously, "I'm _Gwen_ , " she said before pausing and pointing with slight exaggeration to her name badge, "and I'm your _nurse._ I'm escorting you today. We need to leave, _right now_."

Olivia stood up and moved towards Gwen, stunned. Gwen allowed her gaze to flit around the room briefly, her eyes wide with a mix of concern and intrigue, before leaning toward her and whispering with great concern, " _What did they do to you in here_?"

As they walked out through the hall, Olivia rushed to shake the confusion from her mind. She had to believe that Gwen had a well formed plan and hadn't just put on a nurse's uniform and walked in off the street. It wouldn't be that simple - Munch had to have organised and prepared her. Gwen's hand gripped Olivia's upper arm a little too tightly for comfort as she walked her down the corridor, and Olivia couldn't help but notice Gwen's eyes flitting anxiously into partially open doorways, as they walked past the other patients rooms.

They quickly came to a stop at the nurses station, where Gwen smiled warmly at the nurse, as she let go of Olivia's arm.

Olivia was amazed at how relatively composed Gwen was once she reached the nurse, considering that she was essentially enabling her escape - until she looked at her more closely.

She rocked slightly from foot to foot, a small movement but enough that a detective used to reading body language would spot. Her hands were behind her back and her fingers fiddled nervously, yet somehow she managed to keep up her relatively composed appearance.

Olivia listened as she talked to the nurse - with what sounded to Olivia, to be well rehearsed phrases, delivered flawlessly, and with great care. She felt a moment of panic as she wondered whether Gwen could really pull this off, and how well rehearsed she actually was. Her only knowledge of Gwen came from meeting her once - met with resistance, she could not predict how Gwen would react.

"I think everything should be in order - is the transfer approval on your screen? I have two more patients to pick up this morning," Gwen said, smiling, but fiddling more overtly with her hands as the minutes dragged on.

As the nurse at the desk inputted something into her computer they remained silent, Olivia and Gwen's anticipation becoming unbearable for either of them.

" _Ok then_ ," said Gwen, with a small laugh, and a hint of nervousness just beginning to break though, "Could you buzz us out please?"

Olivia stood at the counter and held her breath. She knew that she was seconds away from her freedom, and the fear that one false move at this stage might land her back inside that sickly familiar room, took hold. She watched as Gwen signed a form hastily, her hands shaking more visibly now. Her eyes skimmed the information detailed on the form, and she handed it back, quickly taking hold of a see through plastic bag containing Olivia's cell phone, and jewelry, when it was thrust toward her. The nurse cast a quick glance at Gwen, before taking the form and placing it on top of a growing stack of paperwork.

Olivia silently willed the nurse to open the door, and end the last barrier to her freedom and independence - the wait was torturous, but she was soon startled by Gwen jumping at the sound of the buzzer.

"Thank you, have a nice day!" Gwen said with an exaggerated pleasantness, as she took Olivia's arm again, gripping even more tightly, ands she hurried her to the door, her composed facade slipping with every step she took.

Gwen pushed the door open tentatively, and released the breath that she didn't know she had been holding, relieved and surprised that it swung open with no resistance.

They walked quickly through the rest of the hospital, Gwen`s clutch on Olivia's arm becoming painful as Gwen gripped her tighter as she grew more and more nervous. She noticed that at times Gwen would look down, or turn her head, and at other times, move the folder she was carrying so that it covered the side of her face. She assumed this was to avoid being picked up by the security cameras, but given how many there were in a hospital of that size, she was certain that she would be picked up on the system at some point as they made their way out.

They made it to the main entrance quickly, Gwen's pace quickening the closer they got, Olivia willed her not to panic and start running as they got closer to the door, and she was relieved when the automatic doors opened and they stepped out into the car park.

"Gwen, you're hurting me, can you loosen your grip a little?" Olivia said.

Gwen immediately eased her grip and glanced at her with a worried smile, " _Sorry_ , my car`s over here, well it's not _my_ car, but it'll get us to John. They're probably already tracking _my_ car. I mean..not _your_ people," she said, lowering her voice to a whisper, " _there are others who are watching me_."

'Who is tracking your car?" Olivia asked, confused as they reached the car and Gwen finally released her hold on Olivia's arm. Walking around to the driver's door.

Olivia rubbed her arm and watched as Gwen simply smiled sadly at her as she opened her car door. Olivia felt nothing short of confused at Gwen's admission, but decided not to pursue this.

" _Thank you_ ," said Olivia with a small smile, the slight hope that another person could be on her side, filling her with some relief. "You've taken a big risk for me."

Gwen smiled warmly at Olivia as she climbed in, and put her seatbelt on quickly. Her hands resting on the steering wheel, her fingers drumming nervously.

Olivia quickly joined her, and buckled her seatbelt, meeting her eyes with a smile.

"Did...um...did Munch explain anything? Where is he?"

"He needed to keep a bit of distance - he'll explain all that. It might have alerted them if he'd been seen here, so he asked me to get a head start, but he's been in contact and he should be at the motel soon if he hasn't arrived yet. I'm taking you there now. See that bag on the floor in the back? Can you grab it? I want to get out of here, I hate these places."

"You and me both," Olivia said, as she turned her head and twisted in her seat until she caught sight of a small blue and grey rucksack. "Yes, got it," she said, as her fingers skimmed and then with a further stretch, closed around the material of the bag, pulling it toward her.

"In there is a disposable cell, my number and John's and a few of our trusted friends are in the contacts list. _Don't_ make any calls until I show you how to use the call routing system. It'll prevent your _friends_ at the NYPD from tracking you down.' Gwen said, her voice lowering into a hushed anxious tone.

"Gwen..the worst they can do here is put out a warrant to bring me back in. I don't think there's going to be major alert - I'm not on the run..."

" _Oh,_ Olivia!" laughed Gwen, "if you were digging into something and someone tried to kill you for it...then you _escape from a psych ward_...I think you classify as being on the run. It's ok though, don't worry," she said, glancing at her with a secretive smile before dropping her voice to a whisper, " _I've done this before_."

"You have?" Olivia asked, confused as to whether Gwen genuinely had been in a similar situation or she was simply paranoid that the people around her, were quite literally - after her.

"I had to take off once - six weeks - _your friends_ , they all talk to each other - I had to hide at every turn. I couldn't stay in one place for longer than three days. Believe me Olivia," Gwen said, her voice falling again to an anxious whisper, " _they will find you_."

Olivia watched her in confusion. Gwen was obviously extremely paranoid, and she seriously doubted that there had been the equivalent of a nationwide manhunt which Gwen seemed to feel she had been the subject of. She had little choice however, than to sit and listen.

She wasn't entirely sure if Gwen was leading her to safety or taking her on a delusion fueled journey. She hoped that they got to Munch fast, he would be the voice of reason, and help her see the balance between Gwen's version of reality, and the twisted version which Olivia's life had now become.

 **Hopefully you recognise Gwen Munch aka Gwendolyn of the Shadows. If you want to see more of her, you can watch Homicide - All Is Bright, for her first, much earlier appearance and she also has a very brief cameo in Munch's retirement episode - you can spot her at a table with another of his ex wives. :-)**

 **chapter 8 - a shorter chapter where Olivia puts her trust in Gwen to get her to Munch. Gwen won't be going with them, but she's awesome so she has a couple more cameos :-)**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

Gwen flitted her eyes from the road to Olivia briefly, before returning her focus to the relatively quiet streets that she navigated with ease. "What did they do to you in there? She asked, a hint of anxiety creeping into her voice.

Olivia looked at her confused, "They didn't _do_ anything to me. They just kept me there and made me talk, _a lot._ It's the being trapped - powerless, and being threatened with being even more trapped and powerless if you don't cooperate. I couldn't bear being locked up in there when I need to be out finding Elliot. They were talking about forcing me to take meds - I can't thank you enough Gwen. There are a lot of people in there who do need help, but I'm not one of them."

" _I_ know that," smiled Gwen, "It's everyone else you have to convince, and _that_ won't be easy. And - _you're welcome_."

They drove in silence for the next few minutes as Olivia switched on her new cell phone and scrolled through the unfamiliar names and numbers in the contacts list. "Who are all these people?"

"Friends, trusted people who can help you, who won't find your story quite so _unbelievable_ as most people would - they can work with you to trace Elliot. They have experience - there are far more people who disappear under _questionable circumstances_ than you realise. Detective Stabler is a prime example. A well respected NYPD detective, presumed dead, but only DNA was found at the scene." she said, shaking her head, "There was no body - and yet everyone accepted his death so easily. We believe what we are told to, because no one wants to think that someone they love can disappear."

Olivia sighed, and glanced at her, "You've known people this has happened to?"

"I have friends who have _disappeared_ ," Gwen answered, her voice lowering and trembling slightly as she spoke. "Friends I cared about. When you seek the truth, sometimes...you get too close and there are people who want to silence you."

She glanced at Olivia with a small smile, her voice brightening again almost as quickly as it had become filled with anxious energy earlier, "And the rest?...they just laugh, and question your sanity."

Olivia rolled down the window, and rested her head back against the car seat, leaning slightly to feel the warmth from the sun on her face. Relishing the freedom of being able to open a window. Closing her eyes, she felt the breeze tousle her hair as she relaxed.

Delusional filled journey or not, at least she was free, and no longer in danger of reliving her nightmares.

Before long, they arrived at the motel, and were standing in front of a door. Gwen rapped on the door twice, then paused and rapped again, then repeated the same action. Olivia glanced at her, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Gwen turned to her and smiled conspiratorially before whispering, "I want him to know for sure that it's me. Who knows who's followed us or him!"

Olivia frowned, pondering whether Gwen really was too paranoid, or whether she was in fact, relieved to have her on her side. She was definitely anxious, and it showed, but she doubted that many people would be calm and collected given the circumstances.

Munch opened the door and smiled, stepping to one side as he gestured for them both to enter.

Gwen closed the door behind them, and let out a relieved sigh. "I don't think we were followed, I drove around a bit to throw anyone off the track. I didn't let the car out of my sight for a moment."

Munch smiled and placed a hand on her arm, guiding her over to the bed. "Sit down, you've done well."

He picked up a bottle of water and handed it to Gwen as Olivia watched the exchange between them with interest.

"You know I can see that it's you through the spy hole Gwen." he said gently.

"I _know that_ John," she said, the irritation clear in her voice, "but what if they were standing out of sight, holding us hostage?" her voice dropped to the now familiar anxious whisper, "These people made Detective Stabler disappear and they could disappear any one of us if they wanted to. _Look what they did to Olivia_!"

John sighed and stepped away, dropping into a chair opposite.

"We don't know what or who we are up against here, and we do need to keep ahead of them, think like them, and anticipate their next move if they do try to stop us. We just need to keep our heads cool - don't panic."

"I did it all like we rehearsed, didn't forget my lines once!" Gwen smiled, "and I remembered every angle - the cameras were exactly where the map said they would be. They won't know who escorted Olivia out of there."

"You've done great Gwen - you really came through for us today. I can call you whenever we need help? Because we are really going to need your help. _We can't do this without you, and our other friends."_ he said, his gaze earnest as it locked with hers, his hand lightly resting on her arm as he gave a gentle reassuring squeeze.

The reaction from Gwen was instant, the last threads of her anxiety giving way to a smile. "Of course John," she smiled. "You can always depend on me. These disappearances are becoming too commonplace, and we can't let it happen to people close to us."

Munch leant forward and kissed her cheek, causing her smile to broaden, as she glanced at Olivia briefly.

"You're going to find him Olivia, John won't stop until he does. He has a gift for looking beyond the smoke screens."

"If they do find out who got me out of there though - you'll need a lawyer, you've taken a huge risk for me Gwen, and I can't thank you enough." Olivia said.

"We've discussed this," Munch said, it's very likely that they will bring her in, but she can do this. I know she can."

"I'll be _fine,_ Olivia. John has been through it all with me - I know what to say and _what not to say_. I won't even take a glass of water if they offer...I know _all_ the NYPD tricks."

They ate in companionable silence, Olivia aware of the ease at which Gwen`s demeanour could switch from anxious and scared, to light and happy. Munch seemed to be the cause of her more positive moods. She warmed quickly to Gwen but felt concerned for her too. She was afraid - of being discovered when she questioned and dug, and investigated to uncover all manner of truths, which John had explained when Gwen went out briefly to pick up take out. Olivia felt that many of Gwen's research topics were far fetched and improbable, but despite Gwen's obvious fears, she was more afraid of _not_ continuing to investigate. She couldn't be blinded by lies and cover ups, and with the unbelievable mess that Olivia was now in, she respected Gwen for that.

Olivia forced herself to eat, despite her lack of appetite. The anxiety and adrenalin that Munch's update brought her making it hard to focus on anything else.

"So while you were off taking it easy, the rest of us - and by that I mean mainly myself - were working." he said.

Olivia gave Munch an impatient glare, "and this is where you tell me you have something."

Munch smiled, the confident look he suddenly wore giving her a surge of hope.

"I certainly do. Imbedded in the holder of Elliot's medal is a microscopic computer chip. It doesn't have much on it, but what it does have, gives us a location to head for."

Coordinates.

He had coordinates. Olivia's heart leapt as stated at him in anticipation.

"I doubt these are coordinates to his beachside villa where we can walk on up to the door and be enjoying cocktails in the sun with him by nightfall. But its a message - we head here, and we will be close to him Liv, I'm certain."

"Where is he Munch?"

Munch raised his hands and smiled, "thankfully he ended up somewhere we can get to without passports - that would really have held us up. And it was considerate of him to get taken somewhere we can both speak the language in varying degrees. You ready for a road trip?"

After they had eaten, Gwen laid on the floor next to a map that she was studying carefully, marking sections in different colours. Olivia glanced at Munch, deciding to take a cue from him as to whether Gwen was being overly paranoid or doing something important to help them.

Munch noticed her questioning glance and smiled, "Gwen is marking routes - we need to detour - we can't be predictable and drive straight there, stop at the expected rest stops or motels. Given your current status as an escaped psychiatric patient and the highly inconvenient suspension I am the subject of, I see that we have little left to lose now. Cragen has a recording of a conversation between us. He knows that we both think Elliot is alive."

"He suspended John for filling your head with all this _crazy nonsense_ , and accused him of driving you into the psych ward." Gwen added, looking up briefly, her pen poised in the middle of drawing a circular red route on the map, as she turned her focus to Munch, "He is not being very open minded about this - he never once paused to question _anything_ , and suspended you without even considering what you uncovered!"

"He just wants Olivia to be ok Gwen. He wants everyone to get through Elliot's death and survive it. Olivia's supposed suicide attempt scared him. He doesn't want to lose her too." Munch said with sincerity.

Turning his attention back to Olivia, he continued. "We will be a considerable distance away and the order they will issue to take you into custody so you can enjoy your favourite psych ward decor again, won't apply once we're out of state."

"But there are other orders they could apply for," Olivia said.

"A little positive thinking is obviously needed here Olivia." Munch said, then looked at her earnestly when he took note of her worried expression. " _Yes_ there are alternatives they can pursue, but it's _complicated_. You're out of there and you're not going back. I'm not going to let anyone lock you up again."

Olivia visibly relaxed, and gave a slight smile, "Thanks John."

The conversation with Cragen had been difficult and emotional for Olivia. His concern for her was so clear, and it was very difficult to explain to him that she wasn't going back to the hospital, and that her and Munch weren't coming home until they had found Elliot.

Cragen was worried for her wellbeing, especially given the fact that she was refusing to acknowledge that she escaped from a locked ward, and that in his mind, she needed to be under psychiatric care. She plead her case well, trying hard to convince her captain that she was not suicidal, and there was no reason for him to think she would harm herself in anyway. Reluctantly she had handed the phone to Munch, and instantly could hear the anger in Cragen's voice as he berated him for pandering to her apparently fragile and impressionable state of mind.

Munch had ended the conversation by telling Cragen that neither of them would be contactable, and they would check in, in some way, possibly via a third party, just to inform him that they were both ok.

Gwen left that night, hugging John repeatedly, and whispering something in his ear with a smile. His own smile was more laced with platitude and affection than anything else, but Gwen seemed happy with his response. She said goodbye to Olivia, hugging her briefly, before opening the door, with promises to ditch their NYPD cell phones near the hospital.

As the door closed, silence filled the room, and Olivia glanced at Munch with a sad, and concerned expression.

"Where do we go from here then Munch?"

 **chapter 9 - Cragen is angry with Munch and worried for Olivia when they take off to find Elliot. Fin brings in Gwen for questioning but realises she's his only link to Munch and is determined to reach him. Olivia worries that she's left it too late to tell Elliot how she feels.**


	9. Chapter 9

**chapter 9**

Cragen and Fin stood outside the interrogation room, looking in at Gwen. She sat up straight, her back rigid, tense. She stared straight ahead, looking hard at the window.

It had been a surprise to see her at the entrance to the hospital, and after playing back tapes, they knew that she had helped Olivia get out. But she had done a good job of hiding her face from the security cameras once she was inside. She was easily linked to the scene, and was clearly their only lead. They had no other option but not bring her in for questioning, but neither Fin nor Cragen were comfortable with pressurising her.

Fin sighed and turned to look at Cragen, "I don't like this. She's not gonna tell us anything. What are we gonna do? Charge her and lock her up? That's what she's scared of, and she wont tell us anything if we do that to her. How am I gonna play this?"

"Just go easy," sighed Cragen, "We know she was there, but we don't have a clear shot of her walking out with Liv. Don't push her..Get a feel for what she knows….and let's hope she doesn't confess to impersonation, fraud…" he paused and shook his head, "she won't handle central booking."

Gwen jumped slightly and visibly tensed as the door opened and Fin came in. He pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down with a sigh. He was rapidly developing a headache, and he was getting pissed that Munch wasn't picking up his calls. Now this.

"Ok Gwen," Fin sighed, "do you know why we brought you in?"

"You think I'm crazy don't you? You think you can just _haul me in off the street_ and stick me in a place like they did with Olivia. Well I'm not talking to you." Gwen scoffed, folding her arms and she stared defiantly at him.

"Did you obtain fraudulent ID and papers, impersonate a nurse and take Olivia outta the hospital?" Fin asked, getting to the point straight away.

Gwen took a deep breath, let it out slowly and stared at Fin, her voice shaking as she replied. "I am not going to dignify that with an answer."

"Ok Gwen," Fin said, mildly relieved that she hadn't admitted it, "why were you at the hospital?"

"I wanted to see Olivia. I heard she'd been put in there. But I don't like hospitals. They make me nervous," she said, her hands trembling slightly as she placed them on her lap.

"You're saying you didn't go in. I get that Gwen," said Fin, his voice taking on a warmer tone as he couldn't help but see how frightened the woman in front of him was. " _We don't wanna pin this on you, we just need to find Olivia_. Did Munch tell you why she was in there?"

"Yes, he did. That's why I wanted to visit her." Gwen leaned forward and whispered as she stared intently at Fin, "There are hundreds of people locked up, labelled as crazy, and you're not gonna put me in there too. Olivia's just another person who shouldn't be in a place like that. _I'm glad someone rescued her_."

"She took an _overdose_ Gwen. Munch kept her alive until the medics got there. They pumped a ton of pills outta her. I _don't_ wanna put you in there too, I just wanna find Olivia and get her help. She could try this again and she might not be so lucky the next time." Fin said in sincerity.

Gwen's eyes flitted nervously to the observation window behind Fin, before meeting his concerned gaze again as she sat back in her chair, her rigid, tense pose returning, before she spoke with a determination and strength that surprised him. "I have nothing more to say."

Fin leaned back in his chair and watched her for a moment, her eyes flitting nervously around the room, returning frequently to the window. Fin knew that she was scared, despite how easy he was being on her. Her fear stretched far beyond the person who was in front of her asking the questions. Her fear was much deeper rooted; in authority and establishment, and her trust would not be easy to gain.

"We could charge you, We could be booking you for fraud and obstruction - you could be in some serious trouble here Gwen."

Gwen simply folded her arms and stared hard past Fin, focusing on the door. Her gaze was determined, but filled with fear, and Fin couldn't justify pushing her further. He would get no satisfaction out of getting a confession from her, and seeing her locked up.

"I am not answering any further questions," said Gwen, the phrases that Munch had spent considerable time coaching her to respond with, coming easily word for word, but sounding somewhat scripted. "If you are going to charge me then do it, and I will call my lawyer. Otherwise, you need to release me because I do not intend to say anything further to you."

Fin sighed, knowing that he had to reach Gwen somehow and get her to open up to him, but quickly realising that an interrogation room was not the place to do that. All he had succeeded in doing was in getting her defenses up.

" _So_ if you're not charging me, then….. I'm going to leave now." Gwen said as she stood, her hands shaking as she smoothed down the fabric of her skirt, her gaze not wavering from the door behind Fin, "I'm... _I'm going to leave now,_ ok?"

" _Sure_ , that's ok, no one's gonna stop you leaving, I promise you " he paused, unsure of how to proceed with her, "Look, let me give you a ride home."

Her eyes moved quickly back toward Fin, meeting his gaze, "No _thank_ you, I'm not so _crazy_ that I don't know how to find my way _home_ ," she replied, surprising Fin yet again with the underlying strength and composure which obviously was there under the surface of her fear.

Fin sighed in frustration,"I'm not trying to patronise you, or trick you, or any of that shit. I'm Munch's partner - I just wanna know they're both ok. I aint about to haul you into the hospital." he said, trying hard not to let his frustration show. "Just...let me drive you home, away from here...and I'll tell you what I know...compare notes. I wanna know if they need help, and you wanna know they're gonna be ok too... _away from here,_ just you and me Gwen."

Gwen accepted the lift after a further thirty minutes of talking outside the building, where she obviously felt far more comfortable - away from the confines of the interrogation room, and the precinct filled with police whom Gwen simply viewed with suspicion. She had said nothing on the way back to her apartment, despite Fin trying to initiate conversation with her.

As he put the car in park, he turned to look at her.

"You believe them?"

"About what?" Gwen replied defensively.

" _Detective Stabler_. They both think he's alive. Do you?"

"Yes, I do," she replied, her voice lowering and shaking, despite the determination that Fin could clearly see.

"Do me something then Gwen - I'm not saying you know where he is, but hypothetically - if you could reach him, you could tell Munch to call me. No tricks, no tracing calls. I'm not gonna turn either of them in. I wanna hear them out and I wanna look out for them both."

Gwen smiled, " _Hypothetically_ , I would certainly do that Detective Tutuola."

Fin waited until Gwen was inside her apartment and had closed the door before starting the engine and pulling away. Casting a glance at his cell phone, he hoped that Gwen would be calling Munch right away.

 _The situation was beyond crazy - he needed to speak to his partner._

Hours had passed, quickly at first, and then more gradually, as the road trip started to take its toll, hours became days and the days seemed to stretch longer and longer. The necessity of not travelling simply from A to B. Of staying under the radar, and avoiding both their friends, and their enemies from locating them, was exhausting. They were both losing track of time, but following Gwen's routes on the map was apparently keeping them on track and staying focused. Olivia put all of her belief and trust in Munch, and followed his lead. She had unquestionable faith in him as a friend, and a cop, and she knew that he was the only person she could possibly have turned to.

She had relayed a message that her and Munch were both fine, via the anonymous people in her cell phone contacts list the previous day. The next day however, she had called Cragen herself. She took care to use the call routing system that Gwen had shown her before she left, and so she took time, knowing how difficult, although not impossible, it would be to trace her call.

Cragen was nothing short of angry and dumbfounded that she had refused the psychiatric care he so vehemently thought she needed, and took off on a secretive trip with Munch, whose suspension was shortly going to turn into unauthorised absence.

He knew that Munch had played a role, somehow, in helping her to escape from the hospital, with Gwen so clearly involved, and he was shocked that he had gone to such an extreme to stop Olivia talking to psychiatrists.

He pleaded with her common sense that she come home, visit with Elliots kids; they wanted to see her - needed to talk to her. She was another link to their father that they had lost with her sudden absence from their lives.

He told her in no uncertain terms that she needed to ask herself why she was listening to Munch's crazy theories _now_ \- and reminded her of many of his harder to believe theories. The more he tried to convince her that Munch was simply spouting a far fetched conspiracy theory, the more she defended him. She knew this was getting Cragen's back up, but it irritated her that he wouldn't listen and accept for a second that Munch could be right about their situation they were so deeply embroiled in.

Olivia wasn't really listening to most of the conversation - as soon as Cragen uttered the word 'aliens', Olivia's attention switched off. If Cragen could only see Munch's theories and research as far fetched then the conversation would go nowhere.

He told her that he would extend her medical leave - that she wasn't in anywhere near the trouble that Munch was in. Olivia ended the conversation by saying if he thought Munch's theories were that insane then maybe he should put _him_ on medical leave too instead of suspending him.

After a another sleepless night - despite feeling utterly exhausted, Olivia and Munch decided after speaking to Gwen, that they had nothing to lose by contacting Fin.

He had been relieved to finally speak directly to both of them, and while he didn't know whether they had both lost their minds, or they were genuinely on to something, he knew that he had to hear them out. He agreed to help in any way he could at his end - if he could prove to them somehow that Elliot was actually dead, show them indisputable facts, disprove the evidence they claimed to have, then he would help them see sense, and get them both to come back and get help.

And if they turned out not be crazy...then they had a damn big case on their hands. _  
_  
Fin was worried for both of them. He had lost count of how many times he had been asked if Munch had called him, and he had honestly been able to say no up until that point, but once Munch had finally spoken to him, despite his reservations about he and Olivia's thinking, he found that he could only agree to help. His motive was to help his partner, and help Olivia, but he was beginning to wonder just how he could do that. He aimed to disprove...but in the back of his mind, the niggling uncertainty remained.

 _What if they were actually right?_

 **MOTEL**

Olivia laid on the bed, her head turned to the side as she looked out of the window at the night sky. She didn't like the long route they were taking, the doubling back, the fake ID's that they used to book into motels. She wanted to just drive straight, and get to the coordinates, and find Elliot. Instead, she was following a long route, drawn meticulously with multicoloured pens by a woman whose sanity and judgment she had serious doubts about.

She respected Gwen in some ways, but in other ways she just wasn't sure where her trust should end and her questioning should begin. When she began to let doubt and anxiety creep in she reminded herself that Munch trusted Gwen on this, and so she would too. Everyone else around her had slipped into either believing she was insane, and not trusting her choices or ability to look after her own well being, or they knew just how very sane she really was - and wanted her dead or locked up.

Munch was the only voice of sanity she had.

Her long conversation with Fin had given her some hope, but he was full of questions, rationality, wanting to find answers, but not the same answers that she had Munch were seeking. She believed him when he said he would keep their conversations private though, and that fact alone gave her hope that he would be on their side too before long.

Letting her mind empty of all the mess she was in, she closed her eyes. It was different now. Now that she knew that Elliot was alive, it didn't hurt to allow herself to think of him, she just wished she knew what he was involved in - whether they would even get to him in time to help him.

 _Blinking back tears, she sat up, resting her head back against the headboard as she pushed those thoughts out of her mind._

 _It was only three months ago that she had been in a motel room, sharing a drink together. Everything had wrapped up, and all they had left to do was drive back, but the weather had been freakishly harsh, and Cragen had told them that the NYPD wanted them back alive, so they should hole up in a motel for the night and head back out in the morning._

 _They sat together in Olivia's room, a beer each as they talked. There was no mid case stress and anxiety, it was relaxed. She yearned to be back at that point so badly. Remembering how she felt a little buzz after her first beer and was so tempted to offer Elliot another one. She didn't trust herself. She wanted them both to relax enough to break their walls down. She wanted to lean against him and see if he responded by slipping his arm around her and pulling her toward him, their bodies touching._

 _She wanted to do so much that night - in that moment, that opportunity - yet another lost opportunity, where neither of them made a move._

 _So many years. The regret she felt at never having let go of her fear and talk to him - tell him how she felt, made a damn move; it was tremendous._

 _She had to find him, bring him home. Allow her fears and regrets to fall away._

 _She just hoped that she still had the chance left to do that._

 **chapter 10 - As Olivia and Munch get closer to finding Elliot, they try again to get Cragen to listen to them. Things take a sudden change for Olivia and Munch.**


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the delay. I didn't want to post this chapter until I got a little closer to finishing as I don't want to catch myself up to quickly and this has a bit of a cliffhanger.

Thank you to everyone that's reading. This story has kept me sane for the past year by giving me a place to immerse myselfn so I'm really glad I can share it

 **chapter 10**

They returned to the less stressful practice of using the people in their cell phone contacts lists to check in. Avoiding direct communication was easier - Munch was weary of the accusations of his role in removing Olivia from the hospital and enabling her apparent mental collapse, and Olivia was unwilling to argue with Cragen anymore. She also hated the tinge of concern in his voice - she needed everyone to stop responding to her with such caution, as if she were fragile, and respond the way that seasoned detectives _should_ ; with action.

Six days had passed by when Munch and Olivia had almost reached the coordinates, crossing the border into Mexico with ease. Olivia made one more call to Cragen, expecting another tirade of anger directed at both her and Munch for their lack of a firm grip..or any grip at all on reality.

This time though, Cragen sounded defeated, his worries for her welfare were running him down and she hated that she could hear it in his voice.

"We are close now Don," she said, "very close to the coordinates, we will find him soon."

"I visited Kathy." Cragen said, dismissing her words. "The kids asked about you. They want to see you. Kathy said she would like you to come over and spend some time with them. You're a major connection to their dad - she thinks it would help them."

"I _am_ helping them Don," Olivia said, matching his weary tone, "I'm bringing their father home."

Cragen sighed, asking to speak to Munch. Munch accepted the phone as Olivia handed it to him, leaning back against the car as he sat in the shade, the hot Mexican sun, wearing him down more and more as the day went on.

Olivia stood and walked a short distance away and looked out across the horizon, not wanting to remain close enough to hear the conversation.

There was really nothing left to be said.

"She believes this," Cragen sighed, "she is completely consumed by this - you need to show her that he is not there, and bring her home John. I put you both on medical leave - damn sure you both need it, so your jobs are still here, your lives are still here - _just come home_. You both need help, Huang explained how dangerous these types of delusions can be…"

Munch took a sip of bottled water, placing it back onto the dry patch of grass that he was sitting on, before slipping off his glasses and closing his eyes as he let out a frustrated sigh.

"Olivia absconded from an involuntary stay in a psychiatric hospital. There is no way that she is coming anywhere near home. You'll have her taken in on a 9.41 on the spot. She isn't coming back without Elliot. Neither of us are delusional Don, Elliot's out here, and he reached out to Liv for help. When she got too close they tried to kill her. This is fact, not delusion from either of us."

"What happens John, when you don't find him?" Cragen asked wearily, " _What's that going to do to Liv_?"

Munch glanced at Olivia who had walked away a little, her eyes scanning the vague outlines of buildings far into the distance, as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, easing the heat from her neck.

"Then we do what we do best - what we've been doing all along; we investigate. _We will_ find him. Stabler's not dead, and I'm damn sure we are going to find him, imminently. _He needs our help."_

He ended the call, and they were soon back on the road. Another hour passed, then another.

Munch glanced at Olivia, who had finally fallen asleep in the passenger seat. He had assured her that he would wake her after an hour, but she had let him sleep as they drove over night, and so he decided to do the same.

They had left the long empty stretches of road quite quickly and made slow progress through the crowded, busy streets, where their American car seemed to shout 'tourist' to the locals, who rapped on the windows every time the car slowed down, offering everything from fruit to jewelery.

Olivia barely stirred, so Munch just kept going, passing through the town and out past another long empty stretch of road. The drive was not as smooth just outside of the town, the roads were in need of repair and he was aware that he needed to go very slowly, to avoid damage to their car. Being stuck without a car, miles outside of a populated area was not a problem they could afford to have.

After the road stretched on, the drive became smoother again and Olivia woke, looking with interest at the affluent houses they now passed.

Stretching as best as she could in the confines of the car, she rolled her neck, realising from the ache, that she had been asleep longer than she intended.

"Where are we?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"We are extremely close to Elliot's coordinates - his distress beacon if you will."

"We are?" Olivia said, as she sat up straight and became instantly alert.

"Another hour or so and we will be there, let's take a break and discuss contingency plans - we have no idea what we are so blindly walking into here Liv,"

"I know, and that's hardly filling me with confidence - let's call Cragen and Fin, tell them where we are, and they better start believing us and get their asses in gear."

Munch smiled as he parked the car at the side of the empty road, unfolding and smoothing out the now worn map across the steering wheel. "I like that attitude Liv, I see why Stabler fell for you."

Olivia opened her mouth to reply but paused, shaking her head slightly, "Munch, it's not like that - he's my partner. He doesn't...I mean we don't…"

Munch watched her stammering over her words with an amused glint in his eye, before finally cutting her a break and speaking, "It's okay Liv. Attending a person's funeral has a way of making you reevaluate your feelings. In your case, you got honest. You stopped denying your feelings and you realised what you'd lost. _There's nothing wrong with that_. If it's any help, it's blindingly obvious that Stabler feels the same way about you. The man is madly in love with you. The sooner you two get honest with each other, the sooner you can move forward. Thirteen years Olivia - you've both loved each other for _thirteen years_ and neither of you would ever say it. That's quite possibly the most tragic love story of all time."

Olivia sighed and looked at him quizzically, "You think he feels the same Munch? Really?"

"I believe I used the words, 'blindingly obvious' Liv." Munch said with a smile, as he turned his attention back to the map.

They had spent much of their time on the road, taking turns driving as the other either rested or looked through records and notes. They discussed theories and probabilities and plans of action. The area they were both only too aware that they would fall short on however; was action. Unarmed, out of U,S, territory, and without the support or backup from the local law enforcement or their own people. They were both increasingly aware of the danger they could be walking into, but their choices were limited, and they both felt compelled to just keep going. Each day had brought them closer to finding Elliot, and as unsettled as they both felt at having no well thought out plan, not even knowing what the situation he was in could be, it had not swayed them.

 _The had resumed their route, this time with Olivia driving, and she focused on the road ahead, trying to shake the thoughts that Munch had left her with after going into great detail about various apparently well known government controlled disappearances. She wanted to look at him and laugh, to make a joke of his words - to be left with humor, and not this horrible unsettling feeling that she had now._

"I just want to know why'." she said suddenly, her gaze still focused on the road.

"Questioning is always a good thing Olivia, but can you elaborate?"

"Why Elliot? Why would anyone want to do this to him? He's just a cop - he's not a government spy, he hasn't uncovered a major tax scandal, or been involved in state secrets. Why would the government do this to him? "

Munch looked at her and smiled, amused by her words.

Olivia glanced at him, "What? What's funny about that?"

"Nothing Liv, it's just good to know you've been taking in the cases I've been telling you about. It might _not_ be the 'good guys' - it could be the bad guys, but the two can become quite intertwined and hard to separate at times. Why do _you_ think it's the government? "

"You're asking me to explain why I think the government are involved?" Olivia said incredulously, "Isn't that your faute?"

Munch gave a laugh, "Yes Olivia, tell me your theory on why the government abducted your partner and faked his death. I promise not to laugh or dismiss your words as conspiracy theories or jokes,"

Despite the humour in Munch's words, Olivia felt a tinge of guilt. "John, I'm sorry if I ever did that. I just...we lived our lives, and these things - they don't happen to people like us...I mean I didn't think they really happened at all….I swear the next time someone doesn't listen to you I'm going to set them straight."

Munch smiled and returned his gaze to the empty stretch of road ahead of them, "Well, if the NYPD don't let you have your job back, you can always be: Olivia Benson, Public Relations Officer to Crazy Conspiracy Theorists."

Olivia turned to Munch and laughed, then paused as the lights of a truck approached them fast from the rear.

"Liv," Munch said cautiously, "speed up a bit, they're too close,"

Olivia put her foot on the gas and accelerated rapidly, creating some distance between their car and the truck behind them.

"So what will your new job title be? If they think _I_ 'm too crazy to hold a gun there's no way you're getting back in," Olivia said glancing at Munch as she gave him an amused smile.

Munch returned her smile and laughed, then flinched as the car became flooded with light, "Liv, hit the gas hard...NOW!"

Olivia slammed her foot down on the pedal at almost the same moment that the car jolted forwards - a sudden bang startling her. The light faded fast, as the side of her head banged hard against the window next to her, her hands propelled from the steering wheel as it spun dangerously out of control.

Munch lunged over and tried to reach the steering wheel, cursing as he hit the button to release his seat belt, grabbing the wheel just a fraction of a second too late as the car swerved and careened down the embankment.

Amazingly, Munch remained conscious as the car slipped alarmingly fast down the steep slope, coming to sudden stop with a loud bang, jolting the car so roughly that he was propelled forwards, the glass of the windshield shattering on impact with the tree it had collided with. His shoulder took the brunt of the impact against the large trunk of the tree, his head knocking with far less force against the harsh cushion of shattered glass covering it.

Stunned, he shifted, turning to look at Olivia. Each movement sent a wave of pain through his shoulder, and he was certain he had shards of glass embedded in his neck.

"Liv," he said, much quieter than he intended to, realizing how fast his strength was ebbing, "Olivia. Wake up up Liv, you can't sleep here."

Dropping back onto the seat, he leant over, unclasping her seatbelt and putting a hand on her shoulder shaking her slightly, noting the trail of blood running down her face and neck, "Come on Liv, Stabler's gonna be seriously pissed at me if I take you on this road trip and you die on me."

He reached toward her neck, his hand shaking as he pressed his fingers against her skin, struggling to find a pulse as his fingers slipped, her blood coating his hand. "Liv, come on now, don't do this. This isn't how this ends for you. When I said yours was a tragic love story I didn't think you'd take it literally."

He felt lightheaded as he pressed harder, desperate to find signs of life, "You didn't come this far to die in a ditch Olivia. You came this far to save your partner, and damn well tell him you're in love with him. So you can't die."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, "You can't die Olivia. You've gone through too much, you've spent years denying your feelings. So you can't damn well die right now, in a ditch. You just…..you have to get up and out of this car and go to Elliot. You'll tell him, and he'll tell you, and it'll be...how it was always supposed to be for you two…..so you _can't_ _die Liv,_ because you've never even kissed the man you love, and that's a tragedy that can't happen."

He took a breath, tears prickling behind his eyes, his voice fraught and pained, " _That can't_ _happen_. You…..you have to wake up. You both deserve this chance...to be happy….to be loved. Dying - that's not part of your story Liv, it's just not. So _stop_...stop this. This isn't how it's supposed to be for you…"

Closing his eyes briefly as another wave of dizziness swept over him he steeled himself, before placing his fingers back against her neck.

The last thing he felt was a pang of reassurance as his touch was met with a weak pulse before the back of his head was an agonisingly sharp pain.

He collapsed, his body bent forwards across the side of the steering wheel, as the man behind him placed his gun back into his holster.

 **Chapter 11 - are they both going to be ok? what just happened?**


	11. Chapter 11

**Bear with me - I love these guys and they are relatively safe with me.**

 **So lets see where they wake up, then we can start to see why. Thanks for reading!**

 **CHAPTER 11**

 **New York**

Fin opened the door to Cragen's office, he didn't bother knocking, he walked straight in and slammed a folder down on the desk.

Cragen looked at him in surprise, noting that Melinda had walked in, in a much less dramatic fashion, and was standing next to him. "Fin, Melinda...what is this?"

"Olivia's medical report. You know how we didn't check it? How we took what the doctors said without damn well checking? You know how we thought Munch was losing it along with Liv?" Fin said, his frustration and anger unmistakable.

Cragen stared at him, puzzled, waiting for him to continue.

"We screwed up. We all screwed up. We failed Liv. We failed Munch and we damn well failed Elliot."

"Why?" said Cragen as he opened the folder, his eyes quickly scanning the paper inside. "What am I looking at?"

"The timeframe. The concentration and...absorption rate?" he said, turning to face Melinda.

"The concentration in her blood - it doesn't fit the timeframe - they make observations and estimates on quantities and states of the contents that are lavaged - for that rate of metabolism to have taken place she would have had to take those pills 3-4 hours before it was reported that she did."

"What does that mean?" Cragen asked, confusion giving way to a growing feeling of unease.

"It means," Melinda said, as she glanced at Fin, and then returned her focus to Cragen, "that the tricyclics were consumed after being broken down - almost like food in a blender - and taken in one go. There is no reason Olivia would have done that - when people overdose they swallow pills."

Cragen stood up and walked around the desk to stand in front of them both, "you're saying she didn't attempt suicide?"

"If she hadn't made it - we would be investigating a homicide." she said.

Cragen stared at Melinda, stunned, "christ, I got her certified."

"We gotta find them cap, they're going headlong into something big with no backup." Fin said.

Cragen turned to look at him, "If you know where they are, be straight with me. They could be in serious danger if everything they've been saying is true."

"Mexico." Fin said pausing as he gave Cragen a moment to absorb his announcement.

Cragen closed his eyes and sighed "Damn it."

Looking at Fin, he shook his head, "Tell me honestly Fin - you think Munch and Liv are right about the rest of it too? About Elliot?"

"Yeah. I gotta say I do. I've tried to show them facts - put it in front of them that's he's dead - but I can't. Their evidence is better than the coroner's office. Stabler ain't dead."

 **Mexico**

Munch groaned as he began to rouse, shifting uncomfortably, lifting his head from the cushioned surface he was laying against.

Opening his eyes, he flinched at the pain in the back of his head. Instinctively he moved to raise his hand to the source of the pain but was immediately met with the resistant tug of handcuffs on his wrist.

He twisted around and struggled to sit up, shifting and testing the handcuff and the strength of the bar it was connected to.

Realising it was securely attached. He pulled himself up, the handcuff restricting him from managing to do more than sit. His senses returned fast as he took in his surroundings, and he winced at the pain in his shoulder as he moved.

He was seated on a plush sofa - the only oddity being the metal bar on the wall beside it through which the handcuffs were attached.

 _Not dead, just kidnapped._

The room was clean, bright and comfortable. Reminiscent of an expensive hotel suite. His mind swam in confusion as he struggled to work out how he could have gone from a car crash to a hotel suite.

 _A car crash_.

Panic flooded through him as he remembered searching for Olivia's pulse - the last thing he could recall.

The pain in his head was causing his vision to blur and impacting his ability to organise his thoughts. He struggled to remember what had happened.

Olivia wasn't moving. She was bleeding. She was taking the tragic love story too literally.

 _But he had found a pulse. He was sure of it. She wasn't dead._

His thoughts were interrupted at the sound of a key turning in a lock and the heavy door opening.

Munch watched, tensing as the door was pushed open. His mind briefly registered from his quick glimpse of the area outside, that it was not a hotel. It was dark, the walls a dull grey colour and the floor appeared to be concrete.

He had no further time to digest the stark contrast between the interior of the room and the glimpse of the bigger picture, as two men walked in quickly, closing the door behind them.

One wore a dark grey suit and hung back, standing in front of the closed door. His eyes remained on Munch but he didn't speak.

Munch moved his gaze warily from him to the second man who approached him instantly and stood in front of him placing a bag down on the carpeted floor.

"Good to see you're awake. I'm a doctor and I'm here to check you over. You had a car accident. Do you remember that?" he said as he took a small light and shined it in Munch's eyes one at a time.

Munch flinched and pushed the light away "Where's Olivia?"

"Olivia?" the doctor asked somewhat vacantly, as he leaned over and looked at the wound on the back of Munch's head.

Munch grit his teeth as the doctor touched the back of his head.

"I put four stitches in, and pulled a lot of glass out of you, you have a fracture and significant bruising that will be causing some moderate pain around your shoulder for a while, but you'll be fine. You're surprisingly resilient - doesn't look like you even have a concussion." he turned to the man standing at the door. "Can I uncuff him?"

Munch watched in confusion as The man at the door simply nodded and then opened the door, slipping out and closing it behind him.

"Where am I?" he asked as the doctor quickly unlocked the cuffs.

The doctor placed the light back in his bag and closed it. "My colleague will bring you something to eat."

Munch stood up carefully, dizziness and pain slowing his reactions considerably. "Where am I? Where's Olivia? She was driving the damn car, you know who she is!"

The doctor moved to the door, ignoring his questions. He left the room momentarily - but not quite long enough for Munch to regain his senses and make a move for the door.

He returned carrying a tray and placed it on the tabled in the centre of the room. "I trust this will be to your liking. Enjoy."

Munch stared in confusion at the contents of the tray - two covered plates and a jug of water.

"I'm in Mexico - you're American. Who are you?"

"A doctor. Eat, get your strength up."

"I'm not touching that. Where am I, and where is Olivia?"

The doctor turned and swiftly exited the room. Munch moved to the door but his hand only just touched the handle before he heard a key turn in the lock and bolt slide across.

Grabbing the door handle and pulling, be realised immediately that the door was more secure that it looked. It barely moved as he pulled it.

Sighing he gave up quickly on the door and cast a glance around the room.

It was then that he noticed the drawn curtains on the opposite wall. Approaching, he pulled them apart, unsurprised when he did not find a window behind them.

He have a humourless as laugh as he took in the concrete slabs behind the curtain.

"A VIP prison." he said. Shaking his head. "I hope Olivia has been afforded the same luxury."

Olivia woke suddenly, gasping for air and panicking as she struggled to work out what was happening and where she was.

Panicking, she realising that she was soaking wet, and reached back trying to grab at the hands which had a firm grip on her neck and hair.

She had no time to think as she was pushed under the water, Instinctively flailing as she was held firmly down.

Her mind was in sheer panic, as she opened her mouth in instinct, to scream.

As water filled her mouth she coughed and struggled until finally the pressure holding her down ceased. Scrambling to get up, she got to her knees and held on to the side of what she now realised was a metal tub.

Gripping the side tightly, she hauled herself out and onto the hard stone floor. Coughing hard, she looked up, her eyes connecting with the person who had held her under the water.

" _Now_ you're awake." he simply stated, his cold gaze fixed firmly on her.

"Where am I?" she rasped, trying to catch her breath, "Where's Munch?"

He stared back at her, observing with no outward reaction. His cold, emotionless stare went right through her, unconcerned with her condition.

Unmoving. Silent. His eyes bore into her, as she tried to shake her shock and disorientation off fast. Getting to her feet she took a deep breath, coughing again as she exhaled. Attempting to get her bearings quickly, she walked over to him, shivering from shock and cold.

Standing a short distance from him, she stared back at him, determined to show him that she was not going to let him intimidate her.

"I _said_ , where the hell am I? And where is Munch?"

Olivia stared hard at him, her frustration and unease growing by the minute, as he remained silent and stationary, observing her almost casually.

"Damn well answer me!" she yelled.

Finally, he gave a very slight smirk as his eyes roamed up and down her body. Olivia became suddenly aware that her clothes were clinging tightly to her now that she was soaking wet, and her unease quickly increased.

She stood her ground, until abruptly, he turned, opening the door, and beginning to walk through. Olivia wasted no time and bolted towards the door, ignoring the headache which seemed to jar with her movement. The guard was faster though, and anticipated her response. Spinning around he grabbed the back of her hair into his fist and slapped her across her face with his other hand. The back of her head burned as the force of the blow prevented her from falling out of the tight grip his fist held on her hair.

Hauling her back into the room, he knelt down, pulling her violently down with him as he held one hand tightly around her throat, the other pushing her head closer to the tub of water.

"You don`t fight. You don't try to escape. You don't ask questions. The next time I hold you under the water I might not show you the same mercy. So shut the hell up and stay in your cell, _bitch_. "

Olivia dropped to the ground as he suddenly released his hold on her. Clutching her neck, she turned and watched as he abruptly left the room, slamming the door with a loud bang, followed immediately by the sound of a bolt sliding.

Olivia got to her feet quickly and glanced around the room. It was dark - there was barely any light, and her eyes struggled to make out the shapes in the room. There was clearly a mattress on the floor, but there did not appear to be any other furniture other than the tub, still filled with water.

Still coughing, and wincing at the bad headache that she assumed must have been caused in the car accident, she ran her hands through her hair, trying to remove as much excess water as she straight to the door she pulled and pushed but it remained unsurprisingly, firmly closed and un moving.

Turning around, she walked into the middle of the room and tried to calm her racing thoughts and figure out what had happened.

Backing up, she stood against the cold concrete wall, her eyes remaining focused on the outline of the door. The room was freezing and a chill went through her as she hugged her arms around herself and shivered.

Glancing at the mattress she took note of its condition - it was grubby and old, with a dark red stain covering most of the bottom half of the mattress.

Turning her head so that mattress was not in her line of sight, she slid slowly down to the floor until she was sitting, bringing her knees up and hugging her arms around them to try to keep warm. Her focus didn't leave the door for a second. She needed to be prepared. She couldn't afford to let her guard down.

 _She had to find Munch...and Elliot._

 **New York**

Cragen stood in front of the squad - consisting of Fin and several detectives borrowed from other units. He felt that he had been gathering more rookies with each day that his own squad had fallen further apart. Joining them now though, we're more experienced detectives on loan to him. Their priority was now in locating their missing detectives.

"Detective Stabler has been missing for seven weeks. He was presumed dead, but evidence has come to light to suggest this is not the case. Detectives Benson and Munch were following a lead on his location, and as of last night, 17:00 hours, attempts to further communicate with them both have failed. We are treating all three detectives as missing at this point. At their last communication, they were in Mexico, we have their last known coordinates and we are lasing? Working? with the Mexican authorities. At this end, we need to continue the work that Benson and Munch were doing and find a lead. Detective Tutuola will assign our open cases to some of you, the rest, I will assign tasks."

He sighed. They had all their resources pooled now, but inwardly, he feared it could be too late. And that feeling sickened him.

 **The last few chapters are almost finished but not quite ready yet. I'll try not to leave it too long before the next update.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so sorry for the delay updating. I have almost finished this story so once I am happy with the last few chapters then I will endeavour to go no more than a few days between each update.**

 **CHAPTER 12**

 **MEXICO**

Munch paced the room, his thirst and hunger drawing him to glance at the covered plates and jug of water on the table.

Lifting first one cover, then the other, he took in the plates, laden with food, before placing the covers back and walking back to the couch, sitting down. He wanted something - some kind of visual cue, to help him work out the passing of time. he was hungry, his stomach hurt and his throat was so dry it felt almost raw. he knew that he couldn't have eaten or drunk anything for the best part of a day, but beyond that, it was only a guess.

He had investigated the room thoroughly. There was a dresser full of clothes - pants and t shirts of varying sizes, clearly a one size fits all room. Towels, folded in the drawers were the only other item he could locate in the whole room. The sense of comfort and order in the plush furnishings and neatly folded towels left him with an unsettling feeling.

The room was silent. eerily silent. There were no traces of voices, no footsteps, nothing at all to indicate the presence of life anywhere.

 _The silence was beginning to grate._

There was only the interior decor of the room - painted walls, curtains which masked concrete blocks - and heat.

The room was becoming hotter and hotter.

Munch placed his hands flat on the wall, and began walking slowly around the room, his hands running up and down, exploring the surface, feeling for any change to indicate a possible way out. He looked up to the ceiling as he moved around the room, unable to spot any cameras or other potential listening devices.

He was about to sit down again when he suddenly noticed a small hatch - no larger than his hand, situated very high up on the wall, almost at the ceiling.

Moving behind the dresser, he pressed his good shoulder against it, pushing hard as it gradually began to shift. When he finally moved it close enough, he dropped down to the floor leaning against the hard wood of the dresser as he rested for a moment. The pain in his other shoulder increasing with the effort of the movement.

His eyes remained locked onto the hatch as he stood up again, and climbed carefully up onto the dresser. Relieved that he had moved it close enough, he took hold of the small knob on the door, and slid it open.

Outside, the hatch merely revealed a dark corridor. he could only just make out another door, and little else. Hesitating for a moment, he decided against calling out. It would serve no purpose to bring the people who who had locked him up. Not until he had a game plan.

Climbing down again, leaving the hatch slightly open, he began the task of pushing the dresser back.

When he had finally accomplished this, he walked over to the jug of water, holding it up and staring into the clear liquid, before resigning to himself that he had no choice but to drink it.

He poured it into a plastic tumbler that was placed next to it on the table. Holding the glass to his lips, he paused, "Maybe I'll find Olivia, having tea with the mad hatter…."

As he took a sip and swallowed the water down, his sore throat protesting at the contact of the cold liquid, he froze.

The sound of screaming filled the air.

Staring up at the vent in shock, he hoped to God that it wasn't coming from Olivia.

 _ **Three more days passed**_ **.**

Munch wanted to scream.

The room was bright, and he quickly learned that the lighting brightened to an almost blinding degree if he laid down and tried to sleep. They were watching him somehow, but his search for a camera had revealed nothing.

It was there. Somewhere.

He had barely slept, and barely touched the food that was brought twice a day. He grew more confident with the water, and began to drink everything they brought him in an attempt to fill his stomach and ease the gnawing hunger.

The silence in the room had been broken by the discovery of the hatch. But the only sounds he ever heard were screams. He couldn't tell whether they were real or recorded, but he had closed the hatch, preferring the unsettling silence to the sounds it brought him.

 _His only options, were total silence, or screaming._

 **Nearby**

Olivia sat on the floor with her back to the cold stone wall.

The same man had come back three times. Each time standing in lengthy silence as he watched her.

She had given up asking him anything by this point. Everytime she made a move for the door, listened hard to get an indication of his approach so that she can catch him by surprise and get out, but every attempt she made was anticipated and only met with violence. She acquiesced quickly, all too aware that unarmed, her physical strength was no match for his, and not wanting to risk being at the receiving end of too much damage. When the opportunity for escape came, she had to be strong enough and able enough to make sure she didn't fail.

He stood with his back to the door yet again, a tray of food placed on the floor between them.

She had refused their food up until that point, but she was too damn hungry and her stomach was hurting. Growing physically weaker would only wear her down and she couldn't let them weaken her enough that she wouldn't be able to run when she needed to. She was ready to break her resolve and eat.

Looking at him, she tried to adopt a more passive tone, "How long have I been here for?"

The guard simply stared at her, listening, but not responding in any way.

"Why are you keeping me here? I have no idea who you are. I'm not a threat to whatever this place is. I just want to find my friends," sighing she stood up and stepped closer to him, and spoke more softly, " _please_. Just let me see Munch….and Elliot."

The guard stared, motionless until she resigned herself to his silence and turned away.

"Why have you convinced yourself they are alive?" he said, his voice sounding strange after the days and days of deliberate silence.

Olivia spun a round, her eyes wide as she inwardly admonished herself for the small gasp that involuntarily escaped at the callousness of his words.

"They're not dead." she replied, aware that her words sounded far from confident as sudden nausea took hold of her.

The guard stared at her, an amused smirk forming as he stepped closer, leaning closer, his face close to hers as he spoke.

"Perhaps they're not dead, and Elliot is demonstrating the skills we have taught him as we speak. Perhaps when he's finished with Munch, I'll have him come in here and give you a demonstration too. You'd be the ultimate test - what would he do to you," he paused, his hand reaching up, cupping her chin with unnerving gentleness, "his beautiful partner."

Olivia stepped back, smacking his hand away from her, fury darkening her eyes. "Elliot would never hurt me, or Munch. You're not gonna screw with my head like this. I'm done playing these games with you. You don't get a reaction out of me any longer. You don't speak, then I don't speak. Get out of my way, and let me the fuck out of here. _Now_."

Olivia walked past him, and rushed toward the doorway, but he gave her little chance to reach the threshold.

Swiftly grabbing her wrist, he pinned her arm behind her back, her other arm slipping free of his grasp as she clawed at him, trying desperately to break his hold. He pulled her body up against his and held her tightly as she struggled hard, the kick she delivered to his legs seeming to have little effect. In a panicked desperation, she flung her head back, connecting with his jaw.

He stumbled, releasing his hold on her momentarily, but the impact of her head against his jaw had caused her almost as much pain as it had him. Battling to keep her balance, she spun around and lunged for the door, making it past him and out into the corridor.

Running blindly in the dim corridor, she reached a door at the end fast, and tugged and pulled violently at the door handle.

The guard was on her in moments, his hands gripping her upper arms painfully tight, as he wrenched her grip from the handle.

Olivia kicked back at him, struggling and fighting as he half carried, half dragged her back to the cell. Throwing her inside, she hit the floor hard, only just having enough time to partially break her fall against the hard stone floor with her hands.

The sting of the impact shot through her wrists, and she tried to regain her senses quickly, but the guard grabbed her, spinning her around before slapping her.

Olivia fought as hard as she could, but in moments she was submerged in water, realising that she was not being held down, she felt a moment of relief, before a sickening dread took over as she tugged at her wrist.

Just as she realised that a cuff had been secured somehow to the tub, she felt the cold steel encase her other wrist.

Olivia fought desperately to stay above the water and eventually her heart slowed from the panic induced rush, as she realised that if she pushed up on her feet and gripped the edges with her hands, she could hold herself up and keep her head above the water.

She looked up, as the guard moved to stand over her - their eyes locked; the curious look he gave, unnerving her horribly.

"You'll tire eventually, and you'll have no choice but to go under the water. Let's see how long you last."

Turning, he opened the door and walked out, turning a switch as he left, flooding the room in darkness.

Hours passed by, her eyes made out shadows in the darkened cell, moving around her - stepping closer, retreating back to the walls. She blinked, trying desperately to clear her blurry vision. She was exhausted, and her ability to tell whether she was still alone in the room was failing her. She strained to remember whether the door had opened, and she tried hard to listen for any indication that someone else was there, in the darkness, watching her.

She wondered whether the bastard really had left her there to eventually die from exhaustion or perhaps lose her mind - whichever came first.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but her arms ached badly from the effort of holding herself above the water. She had begun to allow herself to let go, falling under the water as she held her breath. The seconds that she was submerged allowed her aching arms and hands to rest from the constant strain of keeping above the water. Each time she let herself drop however, it took her longer to pull herself back up. She knew that her strength was ebbing fast, and the lack of sound instilled a sense of fear that the guard had simply left her there to eventually give in to exhaustion and drown.

She was cold. Very cold.

The coolness of water and the air around her caused her to constantly shiver with a strange mixture of hope and dread, as the room was suddenly flooded with light. Her eyes fought to adjust against the brightness and she froze, her heart hammering in her chest as she heard a voice.

" _Oh God_ ," he said quietly, the familiarity of his voice piercing the silence of the room. He stood momentarily frozen in shock, staring as Olivia struggled to turn her head sharply and adjust her eyes against the sudden influx of light that blinded her.

"Elliot…" she whispered, not entirely certain that she wasn't imagining his voice.

 **Next chapter mostly done so won't be too long.**


	13. Chapter 13

_I am so sorry for the delay. In my defense I've had pneumonia which has totally kicked my ass. There are 3-4 chapters left after this - and they are 90% written. Its just a case of editing and tweaking. Thanks for sticking with me._

 **Chapter 13**

" _Olivia_ ," he said, his voice filling with dismay as he ran over to her and dropped to her side, his hand instantly moving underneath her neck, fingers sliding down to support her back, taking her weight.

Olivia was overwhelmed with a barrage of emotions at the sound of his voice. Her partner, her friend, the man she held so many regrets about. She looked into his eyes, her own eyes filling with tears, as she relaxed slightly into the hand firmly supporting her back. Her arms trembled from the effort of holding herself above the water, and the relief at Elliot supporting her weight was immense.

Turning to stare hard at the guard his voice was laced with anger. "Give me the goddamn key." he said, his voice piercing the silence of the room.

The guard simply smiled, and held out a key before pulling his arm back and throwing it at the wall.

Elliot glared at him, "this ends, _now_."

He met her eyes, reassuring her with his gaze that he would be right back before he slipped his hand gently from under her back, but she instantly dropped under the water, too exhausted to hold herself up any longer.

Moving fast, he grabbed the key and returned to her. Sliding his hand back under her neck, stretching his arm to the centre of her back as far as he could reach, lifting her clear of the water and steadying her.

"Liv, I'm gonna take the cuffs off, just a minute more baby, you can do this. Hold yourself up."

Olivia gritted her teeth and used her declining strength to hold herself up, clear of the water. Elliot moved fast, removing his hand while he unlocked her cuffs.

He reacted swiftly as she dropped into the water, pulling her up and out immediately until in the briefest of moments she was on his lap on the floor next to the tub.

The guard gave no response except to watch, as Elliot held her tightly, before turning and leaving the room, the sound of the door banging closed and the bolt sliding across barely registering to Olivia or Elliot.

Elliot kept his attention focused on Olivia, as he turned her head gently to face him.

Cupping her face in his hands he spoke to her gently, "Liv. Are you ok? Are you hurt? How did you get here?"

Olivia met his eyes and relief flooded through her. "El.." she whispered, stunned.

Elliot let out a sigh and leaned down, kissing her forehead. As soon as his lips touched her, she broke. Her tears falling fast as she reached out, her aching arms trembling, as she slipped them around him and pulled him closer. He reacted instinctively, his arms moving in the same way, closing around her as he held her tightly. "What did they do you baby? Tell me you're ok."

"Are you real?" she whispered hesitantly as she sunk into his hold.

"Yeah, I am Liv," he whispered as his arms held tightly to her, "are you hurt?"

Olivia sighed as she sunk into his embrace, at that moment she didn't care that was shaking wet, tired, her muscles trembling from the sheer effort of having to stop herself from slipping under the water. All she knew was the feel of being in his arms. The man she loved was here, alive and holding her. "I'm ok. What the hell is going on here?" she said quietly, her eyes closing as she rested her head against his chest.

Elliot held her tightly and stroked her hair as he spoke to her gently, his voice breaking with emotion. "Liv, ...it's a long story but I'm getting you out of here. You can't be here, you're getting out of here."

He paused, pulling back briefly as he created enough distance between them that he could look into her eyes, his hands moved to cup her cheeks, and with the slightest hint of a pause, he smiled, "I thought i'd never see you again," he said in a whisper as he leant forward, his forehead resting against hers as he exhaled.

Her hands moved up and covered his, suddenly aware of how cold she was, his warmth was magnetic. She needed to be close to him - for his warmth, his strength and his love.

"I swear to God if anyone touches you again I'll fucking kill them." Closing his eyes, he took a slow, deep breath, calming himself, before he eased her gently from his lap, settling her back against the side of the tub.

He stood and moved quickly to the door, hammering loudly with his fists as he he shouted, "Open the God damned door! What have you been doing to her you son of a bitch? Tell me!"

The door remained closed, and Elliot stepped back in anger, pacing the room as he stared up into a darkened corner of the room. Olivia followed his gaze, suddenly aware that a dim light was coming from somewhere inside the room, a light that had definitely not been there before.

"What the hell did you do? Come back here and open the damn door!"

Taking a slow, calming breath, he turned his attention back to Olivia, moving back to her and sitting in the floor next to her, his hands gently grasping her shoulders as he met her eyes.

"Are you hurt? How long have you been here?" he asked, his voice thick with concern.

"I'll be ok. I thought he left me there to die….when you came in..I thought I was dead or hallucinating. I don't know how long i've been here El, we were in an accident." she paused with a sardonic laugh, "these bastards were the ones who drove us off the road, weren't they? Why the hell did they bring us here?"

"Can you stand Liv?" he said, as his eyes roamed over her, visually assessing any obvious sign of injury.

"I think so. I…..God El, I thought you were dead."

"I'm so sorry. So sorry, " He whispered, as he helped her to stand, and held her close to him. He placed another kiss against her temple as he smoothed her wet hair from her face, worry and dismay etched into his features as he took in the state of exhaustion she was so obviously in.

"El," she said, as the shock began to subside. " _Munch_ , he was in the car with me. Where is he?"

"Munch is here too?" he asked, stunned. "Christ, I don't know, they didn't even tell me you were here, they just brought me in here."

"El...that guard wasn't holding a gun on you - why did you go with him…" she began.

Elliot sighed and looked at the ground, "they have leverage….It's...i'll explain, but they never leave me alone, one of those bastards always escorts me when they want to take me to one of these rooms."

Olivia watched him, confusion and concern etching her features before the sound of the bolt sliding drew their focus to the door.

Elliot hugged her to his side as he walked her towards the door. Stopping as the guard stood his ground, unmoving, at the entrance.

"I want to fucking kill you right now, so get the hell out of my way, and let me take her out of here and help her, put her with Maureen and I swear to God I'll cooperate."

The guard smiled, "You don't make the rules. I don't believe for a second that you will suddenly start cooperating. She can join her friend - for now. Then _you,_ " he said, staring hard at Elliot, "can pick which one of them comes back in here, and we can continue this...experience. With three bargaining chips, you are _going_ to stop resisting."

Olivia tensed and looked at Elliot in horror, as she shivered from the cold, "They have Maureen?"

"You brought her here to get me to cooperate, fine. _You win_. But if you have John Munch here too - show me where he is first."

" _Elliot._ You do know they are not seeing daylight again, _don't you?_ We need test subjects and you need to accept your place in this experiment. Subjects don't usually walk right to our door, wanting to get in here so readily. Couldn't deny them the full experience after they tried so hard to join you here." he smirked.

Elliot tensed. Olivia could feel the anger and desperation rolling off of him, but he remained outwardly calm as he stared hard at the guard.

"That's not gonna happen. They are not gonna be pawns in this."

The guard turned around and began to walk through the doorway and down the corridor, Olivia cast a confused glance at Elliot, who squeezed her shoulder gently, his hand remaining there as they passed through the doorway, into the darkened expanse behind it.

Elliot and Olivia followed the guard along the narrow, grey concrete corridor until they reached a door at the end. Feeling Olivia shivering and frequently stumbling, he pulled her closer to him, the feel of his solid body against hers, a comfort and familiarity that she wanted to just drink in.

They came to a stop outside another door. The guard slid a bolt open and they both froze as the door opened, revealing the extremely bright light emitting from the plush, luxurious suite.

The noise hit them first - screaming - loud screaming filling the small expanse of the room. The heat hit them as soon as they stepped through the doorway, and their eyes then dropped to Munch, sitting on the floor, his hands clasped at the back of his head, as he pressed his arms hard against his ears, desperately trying to block out the screams.

He looked up, his arms falling to his sides as the screaming suddenly stopped and the lights dimmed.

Munch stood quickly, stunned, and stared at Elliot, before his eyes fell on Olivia, taking a step forward he stumbled and grabbed hold of the dresser, steadying himself as a wave of dizziness struck him.

Elliot stepped further into the room, moving over to Munch before giving Olivia's shoulder a gentle squeeze. She placed her hand over his, before stepping back and leaning against the wall behind her.

Happy that Olivia was ok for the moment, Elliot turned his attention to Munch, reaching for his arm, but pausing as Munch blinked, standing up straighter and waving him off.

"I'm ok, just haven't been partaking of the fine dining around here. Maybe we could call for take out - far less chance of that being drugged or poisoned." he gave a brief humorless laugh, " _Elliot_ …. " he said, his voice shaking slightly, "it's always good to see evidence that I am, in fact, completely sane. _You OK Liv_? You don't look too great."

"Thanks for the compliment John." she said, proffering a small smile, "you're not looking that great either."

Munch felt deeply concerned as he watched her shivering and trembling. Elliot returned to her side, slipping his arm back around her shoulders and keeping a tight hold on her as he moved her away from the wall and further Into the room, creating as much distance between her and the guard as he could.

"Ten minutes,' the guard said, "then you get proof that your daughter is ok. I trust you will cooperate more willingly now that we have more…. _bargaining_ chips."

No one spoke until the guard had left the room, locking the door behind him.

"Liv, there are dry clothes here," Munch said, the concern obvious in his voice as he opened an ornate dresser drawer. Pulling out a towel he handed it to her. Elliot took it, wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Thanks John, I'm freezing."

Munch sat down heavily on the couch as he gave a slight smile, the exhaustion impossible to hide "Well the _good news,_ " he began, "is that none of us are dead..and with the thermostat in this room set to boil, you should warm up pretty fast Liv," he said, as Elliot and Olivia both turned to face him. "I'm just suggesting that we look at the positives here." he said with a shrug, wincing at the pain the action caused his shoulder. He paused, surveying his friends, "... _Can't tell you how good it is to see you both_."

Elliot steered Olivia to the couch and sat her down next to Munch. She pulled the blanket tightly around her, her arms trembling as she held it in place.

"Do you have any way of communicating? We need to get a message out to move in - there are other people here - they were in the building with me, they brought us here." Elliot said hastily.

Olivia glanced at Munch, exchanging a worried gaze. "Elliot" she said, before turning her focus back to him, "up until just before they drove us off the road, we had only just started to get through to Fin….we told them where we were right before that, but until that point, no one believed us. Now we can't even call Fin, or anyone who could pass a message on. _I''m sorry_ …. "she said, as she pulled the towel around her tighter, her voice dropping to a whisper, " _but we're the rescue party_."

Elliot looked at them both in disbelief, "You came down here without backup?"

Munch sighed. "Well we had the slight issue of having to break your partner out of an enforced vacation in the cities finest asylum, courtesy of your friends here, who set her up to make everyone think she'd OD'd, which was worsened considerably by Cragen's efforts that got her certified, so it's fair to say we hit a few obstacles. What else could we do Stabler? Ignore your distress beacon, because noone would believe us?"

"They're sure as hell not my friends Munch. These bastards took the survivors from that explosion, and brought us all here as some kind of fucking experiment. When I wouldn't cooperate with their fucked up games…. they took Maureen." he stopped abruptly, giving them a moment to take in the totality of his words.

Olivia held his gaze, taking in the deep worry he carried, "Have they hurt her El?"

"Oh no, they don't have her here, like this, not in one of these fucked up cells."

"Where is she Elliot?" Munch asked carefully.

"They let me see her almost every day - if I don't cooperate I don't get to see her - don't get to know if she's ok. They haven't hurt her, she's too important to them - they know they can use her to fucking control me."

"Who are _they_ Elliot?" Munch asked.

" _Letters_ \- what does it matter - they are supposed to be on our side, but they're no better than the evil they say they are trying to end. it's all sick games and control. They have people here they want information from - lab rats for people like me who they are trying to turn into….." he paused, breaking eye contact for a moment, before looking from Munch to Olivia, "monsters, who play the same sick games. They want to turn us into...weapons, instruments of torture."

He looked directly at Munch, "This place - it's all sick, government experiments. You couldn't make this up - it's some damn conspiracy nightmare. You - you're probably not even surprised by this, are you?"

Munch, leaned back on the couch, as he looked at Elliot, "Actually I am. This is off the chart in it's unbelievability."

Elliot gave a humorless laugh, " You see how screwed up this is? They are gonna use you both against me - but not like Maureen, they're not keeping you in an ivory tower. You two are at the heart of the sick games they play here."

Olivia stared at Munch in disbelief, and shook her head, "We are all getting out of here before they have a chance to do anything to any of us, Maureen included."

Elliot took a deep breath and forced himself to look at them both, taking on that they are both on his side - that they had travelled hundreds of miles to find him.

"Wait..Munch - you said distress beacon. You got my distress beacon?"

"Yeah, " Munch frowned at Elliot's obvious confusion, "Your GPS coordinates...that you sent to Olivia…"

"I didn't send anything," he began shaking his head.

Hearing a key turn in the lock, and bolt sliding open, Elliot placed his hands in Olivia's shoulders, pulling her up and back into his arms, and placing a kiss on her forehead. He looked at Munch as he held her tightly, "We are getting out of this place. Somehow. We are getting out. I have to see Maureen - they fuck with my head all the time, but I have to believe that they will take me to her."

He placed a kiss on Olivia's head before stepping away, turning to face the door as it opened.

The guard came in, an unnerving confidence projecting from him. "Times up. Let's put some of your skills into play now. If you want proof that your daughter is alive, you'll be wise to start cooperating now. This is your only chance to prove that you can finally follow our direction. Your choice. _Take one of them."_

 **So who did send the package to Olivia? Where are they and why? Now that Elliot, Olivia and Munch are together, they are gonna figure all this out. Next chapter - will Elliot cooperate with the guards? Or fight for the people he loves? (That's not really a question, is it? Lol) a nasty cliffhanger, and Elliot reaches his limit.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Some quicker updates to make up for my extreme tardiness!**

 **...**

 **One hour later**

Elliot froze. The guards words reverberating against the rational part of his mind. Blinking back against the glaring light of the monitor, he started hard, a feeling of dread creeping up his spine.

He felt sick. He had refused to do what they asked - not willing to play a game that would cause one of them to be hurt. The guard had laughed.

Leading Elliot away from them through a maze of corridors - he found himself trapped, the door bolted between him and any possibility of helping Olivia and Munch. He had not fought. He wanted to believe that they would take him to Maureen - he _needed_ to hold on to that hope.

The guard had closed the heavy door, and he was left with only the slightest degree of comfort in knowing that Olivia and Munch were at least together. Some strength would have to come to them now they were not alone. It was only a slight comfort, but he would hold on to anything he could.

He had been blackmailed. Forced to play a sick game - lines gradually crossed, just enough each day they edged him closer and closer to his limit. The very edge of his moral ground. At first he had fought, violently attacking the guards, fighting to get out...until they began drugging him. Then it was harder, his energy ebbed and his ability to form plans was greatly hindered. They changed tactic fast though, choosing instead to present his frightened daughter to him through a video screen - realising that displays of anger would only result in him being drugged again, he reigned in his anger, his natural responses to the fear and disgust he felt at what he saw or heard - mostly through the monitor, every day.

He could still sleep at night - he had not participated. Moments of inaction - times when he was unable to react fast enough and coherently enough to stop anything, those moments would haunt him. He was sure of that.

He was never face to face with the people they taunted him with - not when he was able to act. Only when he ate the food they laced with whatever drug they had pumped him full of - that was the only time they had risked it.

Until now.

They had his friends. The game had changed drastically once Maureen was taken, but it was too far put of his control. He couldn't let it go any further. He needed an exit plan, and fast.

He stood then, in a small room. The only light coming from the flickering monitors as he looked at Munch, the exhaustion plainly obvious but still he battled to remain focused, to keep going.

His eyes moved to Olivia, who was equally as exhausted and carried visible bruises that instinctively made him tense - His hands balled into fists, squeezing so tightly that he only served to hurt himself.

The last lie; that they would take him to Maureen, changed everything. Locked in a room, where he felt the sharp sting of a hypodermic needle, he quickly became lightheaded and confused, unable to help any of them, he resolved that the game would end.

The guard had made it clear that Olivia and Munch were not leaving. He watched them through blurred vision on the glaring light of the screens - wanting it to end, willing them to rush the guard, fight with every last ounce of their waning strength. Despite the fallout that would inevitably occur.

There would be retaliation and there would be casualties, but once he found a way out, he would ensure the casualties were not on their side.

Elliot swore to himself that if it came to fighting their way out that he would damn well be fighting alongside them both and not locked in a room watching - unable to help them.

At that moment however, he had no choice. He watched - dread escalating into a sickening fear as Olivia and Munch turned their heads, both appearing rapidly shocked.

In a moment he was able to see why, as Maureen was brought into the room, the guard gripping her arm tightly, tears flowing fast, and a panicked expression on her face as the barrel of a gun dug into the side of her head.

Elliot turned, pulling at the door handle, His fear subsiding as it gave way to anger. He spun back around, feeling lightheaded and sick as he scanned the room - seeing only a small fire extinguisher he wrenched it off of the clasp attached to the wall. The nails fixing it in place, ripped from the wall with the force of his action.

Returning to the door, he held it up high before smashing down against the lock as hard as he could.

It barely moved.

He repeated his actions again and again, pausing only to look over his shoulder at the monitor - blinking away his blurring vision, catching glimpses of the scene in the cell, their voices, strained and desperate, his daughter's pleas, as her cries filled the room.

The doctor watched with a cold unreactive observance. Standing silently at the open doorway, he took in the scene, before stepping forward and speaking calmly and not without a significant degree of hostility.

"As Elliot was unable to choose one of you to come with me to be the subject of the next phase of our experiment here, you get to volunteer. _And I want a volunteer_ or Elliot's lovely daughter…" he paused, banging the gun against her head hard enough to make her cry out, "will be leaving us."

He gave a humourless laugh as he glanced up towards the camera, "see what happens when you won't play by the rules Elliot?"

"Let her stay here with Munch and I'll go with you." Olivia said

"Not a chance Olivia, I'm not letting you sacrifice yourself." Munch said.

"Don't fight me on this - we can't take a risk, we need her here where one of us can protect her." Olivia said.

Munch folded his arms and watched her silently, a grave, resigned expression clouding his features.

Olivia looked to the doctor, "I go with you and you leave them alone - and let them go." she took a shaky breath as she stood face to face with the doctor, doing her best to stand her ground, however desperate she felt.

"I'm not stupid. I know you'll never keep a promise like that, not with Elliot - but Maureen and John. I go with you willingly and you let them both go."

"No One leaves. Maureen gets to stay here, but if I don't get a volunteer..." said the guard, "one of you…" he continued, before falling silent, pressing the gun harder into Maureen's head - as his mouth formed the word: 'bang."

Taking Munch's silence as acceptance she gave a strained smile to Maureen, who gasped as the guard withdrew the gun and shoved her against Olivia.

Pulling her into her arms. She stroked her hair as she held her tightly, her voice merely a whisper, "You're gonna be ok honey, your dad will get you out of here. He'd do anything for you...and..so would I.."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to let Maureen go, feeling her body shake with her sobs.

Munch watched the two women silently, Maureen clutching onto Olivia, desperately holding on as she reassured her and tried to step away. Olivia held her hands, trying to loosen her grip so that she could move, but Maureen held fast, too scared to let her go.

He quietly stepped into the doorway, turning to look at Olivia, sympathy and resignation clouding his voice. "You are a kind and beautiful soul Olivia. Stay together - don't let them take Maureen - if they try...fight. Fight your way out and get her safe. I won't let you sacrifice yourself."

The guard gripped his arm painfully tightly as he began to pull him from the room. Olivia struggled, wrenching Maureen from her arms as she tried to get closer to Munch and prevent him leaving.

"No...John don't do this...don't.." she choked back a sob as he was pulled from the room, the door slamming shut and the sound of the bolt sliding across, echoing through the cell.

Olivia stared at the closed door, her heart beating rapidly, her head spinning.

"Olivia," Maureen said, as she put her arms around her, trembling, "where are they taking him?"

"Everything's going to be ok Maureen. I'm going to get you out of here, and Munch will be ok. We are going to all get out of here _together_."

Olivia turned, and with a gentle pressure on her shoulders, guided her until she was sitting on the couch then stooped down as she looked her with sincerity.

"We're getting out of here, I promise you," Olivia said, her voice shaking as she forced herself to remain in control of her emotions, and stay strong for Maureen. "We're all getting out of this place, this has to end, _now_."

Olivia paused, no longer confident in her words, but her conviction remaining. She looked at Maureen; frightened, confused and pale, and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as she tried to calm the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the way her head swam in panic.

In a moment however, they both froze, Olivia's breath leaving her as a feeling of instant nausea took hold. In the silence of the room, they both turned and stared in horror at the sound of two gunshots ringing out through the small hatch.

 **Next chapter 99% ready so will be up soon after this one. Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

 _ **New York**_

 _Cragen was beyond infuriated. The brass had been on his side - they had offered every source of assistance they could to bring his detective's home, but it had stopped with them. They could only do so much when they were so far out of jurisdiction. Every lead they followed led to either a dead end, or stone cold silence. He hated it. Hated that even with the NYPD fully supporting the investigation, they could get nowhere._

 _He sat in his office, the door left just open enough that he could still hear the noise from the squad room - it was much louder than usual - so many more voices, phones ringing, constant motion._

 _Motion was good - but it had to be in the right direction, and he feared they were only treading water._

 _He feared they were far too late._

 **MEXICO**

Elliot had used the fire extinguisher to hit the door handle repeatedly using every ounce of his strength he had. As soon as he heard gunshots, something shifted in him. Every moment he had fought, complied, threatened, even damn well apologised, every action he had taken, had been to protect his daughter, but the sight of them on the monitor; his daughter, his friend and Olivia; the woman he loved, the helplessness he felt was the final straw.

 _He was going to end this._

The door remained solid and unmoving but he continued using the heavy fire extinguisher to reign blows - his efforts focused squarely on the only exit to the room until eventually, the force of his blows knocked the handle off. He stared at it as it clattered to the ground, followed almost immediately by the heavier clang of the fire extinguisher as he let it drop from his grip.

He watched as it rolled to the ground, coming to a stop underneath the desk which the monitor stood on, still flickering and taunting him with the image of Olivia and Maureen.

He turned back to the monitor, his hands on the desk as he leant forward and took a breath, trying to recover his energy as he stared in dismay. Olivia and Maureen sat on the couch, Maureen somewhat calmer now, as Olivia spoke to her quietly, still holding her in her arms.

The sound of the door suddenly opening behind him gave him a mixture of hope and desperation. He didn't have a plan, only reaction and instinct to rely on. He couldn't second guess these people - he didn't even really know who or what they really were.

He remained focused on the monitor, not turning around, not willing to give them any more of his attention and focus than he absolutely had to. He took a calming breath - aware that his reactions were dulled somewhat by the drug they had surprised him with. "You gonna tell me where Munch is, or am I wasting my breath expecting the truth from you?"

"Hungry?" the guard said.

Elliot almost laughed at the absurdity of the question, but resisted turning his head. He instead placed his foot on the fire extinguisher, rolling it forward, working hard to concentrate and focus.

"Maybe later then. You haven't asked to go and see Maureen and Olivia." he said, his words a statement of fact, almost like an interesting observation.

Hearing a slight shuffle, Elliot was certain the guard had turned around and was headed to the door, moments from closing it again. He bent down, ignoring the rush of dizziness that struck him, and swiftly grabbed the fire extinguisher, hauling it into the air as he spun around, swinging it hard until it connected with the back of the guards head, the force of the blow knocking him out cold.

Elliot stood, staring down hard at him, before squatting and roughly grabbing him, rolling him onto his back before placing his fingers against his neck. He was almost surprised when he found a pulse, sure that the blow had been so hard that it might have ended the bastard. His hands went straight underneath his jacket, pulling out a glock, and taser.

Quickly searching the guard, Elliot could find no evidence of a backup weapon, only three keycards which he placed in his back pocket. Standing up and stepping over the guard without the briefest pause for thought, he entered the corridor and broke into a run, headed for the stairs which he knew would lead him back to Olivia and Maureen.

It was easy, too easy. He didn't like the way that these people knew his every move yet no alarm had been raised. They had drugged him, yet the effects were not intense. His senses only slightly dulled. He had a growing unease that they were simply watching him, running in the expected direction and doing exactly what they knew he would. It was unsettling, but he had no other option. There was simply no other possibility but to get to Maureen and Olivia, help them, do whatever it took to keep them safe and get them the hell out.

At the end of the stairs he paused, listening for any indication that he would need to be ready to open fire, but the walls were almost impenetrable to sound, there was simply no way of knowing.

So he raised his gun, and burst through the door, positioning himself with his back against the wall, his gun pointed at the wall ahead.

The corridor was silent. There was no flurry of movement, no guards rushing to stop him, no sign of life at all.

He reached the door quickly, trying a keycard, and cursing in frustration as it had no effect on the door. On the second attempt, the door clicked, and he shoved it open, rushing inside.

Olivia and Maureen looked up in surprise, relief flooding through Olivia as she took sight of him.

He dropped down in front of them, kneeling close to them both as Maureen threw her arms around him. He kept his eyes locked onto Olivia's as he kissed Maureen's head and whispered reassurances to her.

"Elliot," Olivia began, her voice a whisper, ".. _Munch_."

Elliot reached out, taking her hand in his, "I don't know, Liv."

Olivia nodded, tears brimming in her eyes as she swallowed and fought against them.

"We have to make our move, _now_. We check the rooms while we make our way through - I'm not leaving this damn place without finding Munch." Elliot said.

"Dad?" Maureen said, the vulnerability in her voice striking him. "This place is huge - and if we get to the exit - how are we gonna get out?"

Elliot pulled back slightly, giving Olivia room as she placed her hands on Maureens shoulders and looked at her, "have you been anywhere that your dad hasn't? Can you tell us where you were? Anything is going to be helpful."

Maureen took a steadying breath and smiled slightly at Olivia, drawing from her strength as best as she could. "There's a room that overlooks a lake - a huge lake. There were always at least three people up there - I spent most of the time up there until today. Sometimes there were more - 5 or 6, and other times only one. They didn't say much to me, but once they took me into a room - they shut the door. It was filled with guns and things like...I'm not really sure, like tasers I guess, and other stuff, but I didn't know what it was. It all looked pretty awful. They just shut me in there with them and they stood there whispering to each other. Then after a while they just let me out." she exhaled slowly, calming herself down, "What will we do if they find us?"

Olivia dropped one hand from Maureens' shoulder as Elliot reached across, squeezing her shoulder with a small smile. "They were trying to scare you - you've been so brave sweetheart." he said as he placed a kiss on her head, " _I won't let anything happen to you_. What you've told us is really helpful, and we are gonna get out of here. We are gonna get up and go out through this door," he said, tilting his head toward the cell door, "and then we are gonna check every damn room we come across until we find Munch, then we are all finding the way out together."

His eyes moved from Maureen, to Olivia and back again, his determined gaze reaching them both in different ways, "we stay together, _whatever happens_ , we all stay together."

Olivia used every ounce of strength she had left to remain calm and focused as she walked through the empty, dark corridor. Maureen walked behind her, and Elliot followed. He felt surprisingly ok, despite whatever the he'll he'd been injected with. His thoughts were clear and his movements steady and unhindered. He came to a realisation then, that it was most likely another mind game, keeping him guessing about what they had given him.

They continued with no resistance, opening the other three doors, finding that the same keycard appeared to open every door on that level. Each was empty.

Moving to the door at the end, Elliot used the keycard and they made their way up the stone steps, their footsteps the only sound breaking the unsettling silence.

They walked through.

More doors opened, more empty rooms. Two more floors, and Maureen suddenly tensed, stopping as she grabbed Olivia's arm. "We're close to the room by the lake - I remember coming past here, she whispered.

"Where the hell is Munch?" Elliot said.

Maureen turned to look at him, tears in her eyes, "Dad, what if…"

" _Don't_ ," Olivia said, "we can't think that. We're not done here, not until we find him."

Elliot and Olivia raised their guns, as Olivia gestured for Maureen to step back behind her. Elliot put the remaining unused keycard into the door, opening it quickly and moving through fast, Olivia entered next, her weapon raised, with Maureen close behind her. Maureen's heart thudded so hard she could feel the blood rushing in her ears. She couldn't tell if there was any sound coming from the room or not - she was amazed at how calm her dad and Olivia appeared.

Elliot slowly lowered his gun, followed by Olivia, their eyes scanning the large empty room, "Have you been through here?"

"Yeah," Maureen said, "raising her arm and pointing across the room," the lake room is through that door."

"Ok, let's go, stay behind us, but stay close." Elliot said.

Maureen nodded, and they made their way quickly over to the door. Elliot placed his hand on the door, poised to try one of the key cards, when it moved, inching slightly open.

"It's not locked?" Olivia said, confused.

Elliot met her eyes, and she took a deep breath and nodded, moving in front of Maureen, who instinctively stepped back.

Throwing the door open, they burst in, Olivia using her free hand to grab Maureen and position her so that her back was against the wall next to the door, seeing the open door to the armoury that Maureen had described, and movement inside, they both aimed their guns.

"DONT MOVE!" shouted Olivia.

Munch emerged quickly from the armoury, a rifle raised above his head, making eye contact with first Elliot than Olivia, "Woah! Guys take it easy! I bust Liv of the nut house and this is how you repay me?"

Elliot let out a sigh and dropped his arm with a slight smile and shake of his head as he reached back, and tucked his gun into the waistband of his jeans.

Olivia dropped her arm to her side, breaking into a grin as she walked over to Munch and pulled him into a hug, she was quickly joined by Maureen. A warmth filled his eyes as he stepped back, looking at each of them. "Ok, so now you're _finally_ done playing around in the maze down there, can we get out of here?"

Elliot's smile broadened, "what were you doing while we were having fun down there then?"

"Taking out two guards and securing us an arsenal of weapons - _you can thank me later_." Munch said.

It only took a short while for them to arm themselves - Olivia and Elliot opted for glocks, securing a second behind their backs, Munch did the same, hesitating before leaving the rifle, before realising it's weight would be cumbersome. Looking at Maureen, Elliot approached her with seriousness, holding out a taser.

"Take it, i'll tell you what to do, it's easy." Elliot said.

Maureen looked at him, with uncertainty, before accepting it. Elliot moved behind her, taking her arms and holding them outstretched, "keep it away from you, like this, then all you have to do is slide this safety underneath, and press this button on the side. Keep your arms straight, then you'll hold it steady." he looked into her eyes, sensing her uncertainty, "you might not need to - but if you do, _you can do this_."

She swallowed and nodded, "ok dad."

Armed and ready, they stood beside each other as they took a moment's pause to look out across the lake.

"I'd say this might be a nice place to book a vacation, but it's kinda lost it's charm," Munch said.

Olivia glanced at him and gave a small laugh, "yeah, how about we never leave the city again?"

"Good plan. I like your thinking." Munch said, raising an eyebrow and giving a slight smile, but resisting the urge to comment as he noticed Elliot's hand slip into Olivia's and the instinctive way she stepped closer to him, her shoulder brushing against his.

"How about we get out of here?" Elliot said.

One door remained to be opened, and to their surprise, it appeared to be a standard door. A small lock, no different to the average apartment door.

"Ready?" Elliot said.

"Never been readier," Munch replied.

Olivia nodded as she stepped back, and Elliot rushed at the door, kicking it open in one go, the wood from the frame splintering and falling to the ground in shards.

They didn't stop to assess the room, running in, their guns drawn, as they fanned out, aiming at any movement they could see.

"FREEZE. GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!" Elliot yelled.

"Oh my God!," a woman said, as she stood up, her hands raised high in the air, "we're not armed, we're just the research staff. Don't shoot, _please_!"

Elliot frowned exchanging confused glances with Munch and Olivia as their kept their guns drawn and trained on the occupants of the room.

"What the hell is this?"

 **Next chapter is almost there so I will do my best not to leave a long gap before updating. Thankyou for your reviews and comments.**


	16. Chapter 16

Olivia scanned the room - five people - two laying on the floor, Munch's gun trained on them, another man on his knees, staring at Olivia in horror, and two standing, their hands raised, shock and dismay clouding their features while they stared at Elliot's gun.

Desks, computers, a large open plan room reminiscent of an office - an everyday work environment. Her eyes flitted quickly around the room taking in the signs of normality brought to a halt at their sudden entry - half eaten lunch on desks, spilt coffee, chairs tipped over and the sound of crying coming from one of the women laying on the floor.

The only person to have spoken stepped forward, keeping her hands held in the air, "Detective Stabler," she said, her voice shaking as she made no effort to mask her fear, "I'm Elizabeth Crosh, a researcher at this institute, we can explain, we can explain everything, but you have to understand that we're not dangerous, we're not armed, I...I've never even held a gun before...please, lower your weapons…."

No one moved until the sound of a door opening broke the confused silence, and three men moved rapidly into the room, two with guns drawn.

"Oh God, please, everyone just put your guns down," Elizabeth said, her eyes growing wide with fear at the potential shoot out that she could be in the middle of. "We saw - on the monitor, we saw you take out the guards, but the cameras cut out….we didn't think….didn't think you'd get right up here."

"What the hell are we?" Olivia asked, her gun slowly moving between the man on the ground and the gunmen who had entered the room.

The unarmed man stepped forward, his hands raised in an attempt to show his non confrontational intention as he focused on them but directed his words to the gunmen. "Lower your weapons and i'm certain the detectives will do so also."

"Give up our weapons so you can lock us all back up again - _not_ so likely. Put _your_ weapons on the ground and kick them over to us." Munch said warily.

The gunmen hesitated for a brief moment, watching for the other man's nod of approval before complying, kicking their weapons over to Munch, who picked them up, disabling them.

"You in charge here?" Elliot said as he pointed his gun squarely at the man who appeared to have some modicum of authority.

"I'm the director of this institute - we did not expect you all to break out of the facility, let alone make it up here." he paused, lowering his hands slowly, "This has been a fascinating turn of events. If you would all come to my office, I will explain."

"No, you will explain right now." Elliot said, as Munch ushered the other people together until they were all in the centre of the room.

Olivia moved quickly over, searching the gunmen until she was confident that they had no backup weapons.

"They're clean," she said.

"Ok," Elliot said, holding his gun steady, "talk."

Cautiously lowering his hands, the man glanced at Munch and Olivia before returning his focus to Elliot, "I'm Jacob Elmdon, and i'm the director. You are part of a research project - we are monitoring you at all times, recording your reactions," he continued, gesturing to the monitors. "The purpose is twofold; to learn about the mechanisms of the human mind and how you respond to extreme stressors and to adapt, those that could be of use to us...instruments to fine tune to our needs."

"So in other words, torture and brainwashing for your viewing pleasure." Munch said.

"How long have we been here?" Olivia asked, "with people just sitting here, watching us suffering like our lives are some kind of twisted entertainment."

"You and detective Munch arrived 5 days ago, Elliot has been here for several weeks." he said.

"Elliot, you said there were other people, we need to get them out of here, get assistance…" Olivia began.

The man sighed and stepped forward, "the Mexican authorities have received a significant payout for this facility from the U.S government, and they will not be very responsive to you. We need o diffuse this situation before anyone else gets hurt so we are merely awaiting authorisation to release you - but first we need to check on the condition of our guards."

"Did you kill them Munch?" Elliot asked almost casually, not taking his eyes off of the director.

"No, I knocked one out, " replied Munch equally as casually, "tasered the other one. They'll live."

"They deserved worse." Elliot said.

"Well I _was_ taking on two gunman simultaneously, I think it was quite impressive really." Munch said somewhat indignantly.

"They aren't bleeding out, you can wait on getting them help. We need to make contact with the NYPD," Elliot said.

"Then follow me to my office and you can speak to the NYPD shortly, It will shortly be authorised."

"Why?" Olivia asked, "why the hell would you put us through all this then let us call home?"

The director smiled, "perhaps i'm telling you the truth - perhaps those above me have instructed me to release you. You are no longer usabme participants."

Olivia exchanged a disbelieving glance with Munch, "and perhaps you're lying, and are just waiting for the right moment to disarm us. Don't think for one second that you will get one _ounce_ of our trust." she said.

"Then keep your weapons, I don't expect you for a minute to relinquish the power you hold right now. It was our intention to seize ordinary citizens, not an NYPD detective with a background in the marines. That was a bonus which took our experiment in a new direction. We certainly did not intend for two more detectives to join him at the start, but when we researched Detective Stabler, it became clear that it would be fascinating to observe whether his partner would accept his 'death' and if not - how far would she go to find him once she received our invitation."

Olivia tensed, "your _invitation_ \- you sent that package to me? Why do that? Why do all that to me if you wanted me here?"

"Simply to see the lengths you would go to help Detective Stabler - whether you would question your own sanity or keep fighting to find a man whose funeral you attended. You proved a worthy test subject - as did you detective Munch - it was an interesting turn of events that she found someone who didn't assume she was having a mental breakdown." he paused, noting the anger that was evident from each of them.

"We just didn't expect you to make such a sudden entrance into our research lab. It's disappointing that we won't be continuing our experiments with you, but we will continue to observe how you handle switching power roles."

Elliot shook his head, "maybe you stop observing us and get a damn line open to our people."

"By all means - please, follow me."

Elliot stood next to Olivia, his shoulder brushing lightly against hers, the back of their hands almost touching. He fought the urge to put his arm round her and pull her close to him. They had time, and he would hold her, but first he turned to his other side and smiled at Maureen, she was standing stronger, no longer trembling and her tears had dried. She was handling the most extreme of situations, far beyond anything that she could ever have imagined and she was handling it damn well. He was proud of her. He put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze, she looked at him and smiled.

Munch stood the other side of Olivia, wondering with a brief glance at his friends, how long it would take them to work through everything that had happened. One thing he knew however, was that things would change between Olivia and Elliot, and if they didn't...he would damn well get a hold of them both and push them to each other because if they had to be led by the hand to give in and allow themselves to be honest, then in the absence of their own common sense and honesty, he would just do it himself.

The screen finally came to life and Captain Cragen's image appeared - the detectives briefly met the eyes of the chief superintendent and other decorated brass, but focused solely on Cragen, whose relief was evident.

They listened in disbelief as they were told to sit tight and await transportation, that they would be flown back to New York. Cragen spoke to them briefly, assuring Elliot that Kathy had already been informed about Maureen, and would be updated as soon as they had flight details. Twelve other people had been identified, six had arrived with Elliot, and a further six less than two weeks previously. They were assured that everyone would be flown home together.

When the screen turned to grey static, the room fell silent, before Olivia looked at Munch and laughed, "They expect us to trust them and just get on their plane?"

Munch raised an eyebrow in response, and turned his head to meet the director's eyes, "seems the ideal way to make all the witnesses to this disappear in one go."

"Come now Detective, do you really believe that we could make an entire plane and everyone onboard disappear? You have no reason to trust us, no reason at all, but don't you think you are being more than little far fetched here? Your own people have arranged this flight."

Maureen glanced at Elliot uncertainly, but he squeezed her shoulder before dropping his arm from around her, and pulling his gun out of the back of his pants, walking forward and stopping only when the barrel of the gun was pressed against the centre of the directors chest.

" _We_ , call the shots now. You're gonna get your lackeys to bring the other people you sons of bitches have being doing christ knows what to. You're gonna bring them all up here, so everyone stays together. Those people deserve to know what's going on here. Then you are staying right here. If I have to keep this gun pointed at you for the next damn day, I will, and if you try anything, believe me, I'll let you know what it's damn well like to experience one of your cells."

Once they were satisfied that everyone had been brought to them, they had made their way out of the control room, into what they found, to their astonishment to be a very standard looking cafeteria. Taking full advantage of the room, they sat everyone at the tables, sitting the project employees on the ground, their backs against a wall, as they each took turns keeping a gun trained on them.

They had sourced food - Munch returning from a brief visit to the kitchen with armfuls of wrapped sandwiches. As he handed them out, he visually assessed the injuries of the other people. Some appeared shell shocked, others dehydrated, and some were on edge and anxious. After locating water, he and Olivia handed out bottles, noting that many of the people had obviously treated injuries, but no one appeared to be physically in need of urgent attention.

Sighing, Olivia ran her hand through her hair, before unscrewing the cap on her bottle and taking a long drink.

Munch took over from Elliot, guarding the project staff, and Elliot immediately walked over to Olivia, casting a glance at Maureen who was eating at a table close to him.

Olivia met his eyes as he approached her, stopping in close proximity. She smiled slightly as the warmth from his gaze enveloped her.

"You holding up ok El?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, feeling weeks of tension leaving him in an instant, "I am now."

As her eyes met his, a rush of warmth filled her as she couldn't help but smile. She saw warmth reflected back at her in his eyes and he stepped closer, his hand resting on her shoulder briefly, before sliding to her upper arm and giving a slight squeeze.

He watched her reaction carefully, and noting her smile, he let his hand run down her arm, his fingers lightly skimming her wrist before his hand slipped into hers.

Olivia looked down at their joined hands and smiled as she closed her hand around his, "I just wanna go home El, but someone has to answer for this, for everything they've done to us. They can't just say game over, here's a free flight home."

Elliot reached up and brushed a lock of hair from her face, her eyes briefly closing at the light graze against her skin, as his fingers skimmed across the side of her face. "We get out of here, we get home safely, then we make sure the whole damn world knows what they're doing here."


	17. chapter 17

**Sorry for the delay - life's been kicking my ass lately. Two chapters left after this, thanks for staying with me despite the long gaps at the end here.**

Elliot sighed and stood up, happy that Maureen was sleeping restfully, before placing a blanket around her.

He peered through the curtain dividing the detectives from the other passengers. He felt a slight pull to go in and talk to the others, but he had nothing to update them with until they landed, and so he decided to return to his seat. Pausing, his eyes drifted to Olivia's seat, and he hesitated as he approached her row, wondering whether this was the right time to talk to her, or even how he would begin.

Glancing at the empty seats around them, his eye fell on Munch who raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

Elliot walked over to his seat and sat down next to him, "what was that look for?"

Munch gave him an amused smile. "Please don't tell me you're going to forget the most important truth you learned through all this."

Elliot looked at him, his impatience growing, "which is?"

Munch shifted in his seat, turning to the side so that he was facing him more fully, "love."

"Love." Elliot repeated.

"Yes, love. Are you going to do something about it? Tell her you love her? Because i'm not sure I can handle the sexual tension between you two for another decade."

Elliot stared at him, before turning to scan the seats, glancing across at Olivia, who was watching the inflight movie, her earphones blocking out their conversation.

"Look Munch," he sighed, "it's not that straightforward - I can't just…"

"Olivia!" Munch called.

Olivia slipped her earphones out and hit pause on the screen, her attention turning to him, "yeah?"

Munch laughed, noticing that Elliot had frozen in shock. Standing, he made his way past Elliot, not even giving his reaction a glance, and walked toward Olivia.

"Olivia," he said, "let's swap seats because Elliot needs to tell you something."

Olivia hesitated, before standing, watching in curiosity as Munch held out his hand to her.

With a puzzled frown, she took his hand and shook her head as he walked back to Elliot, stopping close to his seat before dropping her hand.

"Olivia - this is Elliot. He loves you and would do anything for you - except of course, the one thing he should do."

Olivia swallowed, her eyes still focused on Munch, stunned at his sudden move, "and what is that?" she said, quietly, feeling an instant nervousness at the direction Munch had hurled them into.

Munch smiled, clearly not sharing any of her nervousness. " _Tell you he loves you_ \- and Elliot," he began, his amused gaze shifting focus to him, "this is Olivia - she would travel over two and half thousand miles to find you, despite everyone telling her she was insane and you were dead. Know what that is?"

Elliot raised his eyes to meet Olivia's, focusing only on her as he replied, "No, you tell me then Munch. What is it?"

Munch shook his head with a smile, "that, Elliot - _is love_. Now I'm going to return to one of these empty seats to check out the in flight entertainment. Might I suggest that you use your time wisely, and get honest. _Seriously_ \- you must be the only two people who don't see it, and that's because you both stubbornly refuse to. Life's short, way too short not to admit how you feel."

Munch turned and walked in the direction of an empty seat, not caring which one, just ensuing he gave his friends adequate space. He cast a brief glance back at them both, smiling as he noted that they were staring at each other, stunned.

Munch raised an eyebrow, smiling, as he watched Elliot pull Olivia into his arms, before commenting that he was going to study the aircraft safety instructions, again.

He felt relieved that some good could come out fo the hell they had all been through.

Elliot pulled back and looked into her eyes, his heart racing as he started to talk, "I do Liv, and I hope you know that - I didn't think i'd ever see you again, and they showed me pictures of my funeral...knowing you were going through that, that was worse than anything they put me through. I love you, and life is too damn short not to say that."

He paused, fighting the urge to just lean in and kiss her. He needed to give her time to process his words, and make sense of her own feelings - and he tried valiantly, but as he saw the rush of emotion in her eyes, he could not act. He slipped his hand past her shoulders, pulling her closer to him as his hand tangled into her hair.

Olivia moaned his name as his lips met hers, both deepening their kiss almost immediately. As her hands snaked up his back, he placed his hand on her hip, pulling her closer still, only breaking their kiss once she pulled back, taking a breath as she looked at him.

"If you were dead," she whispered," "then I would have spent years, and never have admitted this...I can't do that anymore El...I love you too and I can't let another decade pass us by."

He smiled and cupped her cheek, enjoying the way she instinctively leaned into his touch, "I missed you Liv."

Olivia closed her eyes while she felt warmth of his hand against her cheek and smiled.

They were together, and he was no longer a voice, recorded on his phone. her only way to feel close to him - torturing herself by constantly replaying his words.

He was alive, and holding her, telling her he loved her.

Two hours passed. Munch had explored the plane - eyeing the food cartons and bottled water with suspicion.

He sat in the adjacent row of seats on the plane. They were alone in first class, and he glanced at Olivia and Elliot, who appeared more relaxed than he could ever remember seeing them. Olivia sat with her legs pulled up, leaning into Elliot's side, her head resting against his shoulder. His arm was around her, holding her close to him. Everything had been laid out perfectly for their return trip - even the internal climate control seemed to be adjusted to the ideal.

"Not like the NYPD to splash out like this," Munch said, as he fiddled with the overhead heating control.

"Well, maybe they feel obligated after what we've been through. They made some pretty big mistakes here." Elliot said.

"This doesn't bother you?" Munch said, "I'll excuse you both, as you're probably somewhat distracted with each other. Not a criticism by the way, I'm happy for you both, but don't let your guards down. we're not on home soil yet."

Olivia sat up in her seat, Elliot immediately feeling the loss of her body leaning into his.

"The NYPD have screened everyone on board John, what are we looking for?"

"Anything - everything...maybe nothing at all. We just can't assume it will be so easy." he said.

Elliot sighed, his hand closing around Olivia's as he gave a slight squeeze. "We know Cragen did everything he could at his end to check the flight out, if anything happens to us in the next three hours there's gonna be a hell of a lot of questions asked. Too many people know we're coming home."

Olivia looked from Elliot to Munch, "when we get home, we can't waste any time. We have to get our story out there - we're two NYPD detectives and a sergeant - what's happened to us has to be heard."

"When we land, we go to major news outlets - we talk and be the voice for all those other people back there." Munch said, gesturing to the curtain separating them from the rest of the passengers.

"They put us all through hell and just said they were done when we changed the parameters of the experiment too much, by busting out and getting to their lab." Munch continued, "we were nothing but lab rats to them - our lives meant that little, discarding us, it feels too easy. They won't want us talking."

"Let's get home in one piece, talk to Cragen, get on our own turf." Elliot said, "We'll handle whatever they try to throw at us."

Munch gave a nod and turned his attention back to the small TV screen in front of him, unconvinced that their journey back to New York - and to their lives, could really be that simple.

As Olivia settled back in her seat, her head instinctively settling against Elliot's shoulder, he pulled her closer to him and placed a kiss on her head.

Whatever awaited them, he knew that holding her was the only thing that had felt right in a very long time.


	18. Chapter 18

**Apologies for the long hiatus - I am uploading the rest of the story tonight.**

 **Chapter 18**

They landed. Every bump, every moment of turbulence caused tension - they were certain that they would not get home. Yet they did. They arrived on US soil and disembarked - walking quickly through the terminal, ushered uneventfully past the usually scrutiny of the immigration agents.

Elliot walked alongside Olivia, the back of his hand lightly brushing against hers - he wanted badly to just take her hand in his, but he settled instead for the warmth of her proximity. She turned her head and smiled, and he felt more at ease in an instant. Days had turned quickly into weeks, and then all sense of time had eventually been lost along with his hope of ever seeing her again. He didn't intend to let another moment pass them by again - they had a life to live and they could live it together.

Walking in front of them, Munch came to an abrupt stop, and raised a hand in caution. Elliot and Olivia immediately moved to stand either side of him, and followed his gaze to see what final hurdle they had yet to cross.

They each tensed as four men approached them - from their dress and demeanour, they took them to be government agents, and they certainly did not present with warmth and concern for their welfare.

"There's the welcoming committee," Munch said, "They seem like a friendly bunch, wonder which one has the cake and balloons?"

Olivia glanced at him briefly, "bet it's the one on the left, he's gonna be so embarrassed when he realises he's left it in the welcome wagon outside."

Elliot almost laughed as Munch turned to Olivia and smiled approvingly at her response. The warmth and friendship between them both had certainly deepened further, and he was grateful for that - knowing that Olivia had not been alone and that he had been the one person she could turn to to help them both.

"You really shouldn't have gone to so much trouble to welcome us home," Munch said, a simple 'we're glad you're back and didn't get killed in a secret government base' card, would have done just fine."

"Sergeant Munch," one of the agents stepped forward, extending his hand, "we need to escort you to a vehicle."

Munch remained motionless, his gaze shifting slowly from the agent's extended hand, held steadily in anticipation of a reaction, to his stoic features.

"And we are going to get in a car with you...why? Your sunny dispositions aside, we have been through an utter nightmare, so buckling ourselves in for another holiday in Costa Del Hell, isn't part of our plans for today."

The agent lowered his hand, and sighed, a small, almost imperceptible movement. "You will need to come with us, or you will all be arrested and taken in by force. It's up to

you three how this plays out."

Olivia glanced at Elliot, concern instantly flooding her. He met her eyes, realising the panic she felt and did his best to remain calm, hoping that she would relax a little.

"We need to speak to our captain before we go anywhere with you," Elliot said.

"There will be time for that once we reach our offices," began the agent, as the others moved around to flank them, Elliot mentally sizing them up and wondering what would happen if they attempted to fight their way past them in a crowded airport terminal.

"Let's go detectives," he said, and turned to Munch, "Sergeant? Do we have your cooperation?"

Munch sighed and turned around, facing Olivia and Elliot and stepping closer before talking, a serious undertone to his words, "Don't allow them to separate us, even for a moment, and don't tell them anything, the less we say, the less they have to 'deprogramme'." He turned back to face the agents and Olivia glanced again at Elliot, her eyes wide with an instant flash of fear.

"It's ok Liv, like John says, we just stick together."

"Ok," she whispered, as she felt an agent grip her arm.

They sat in silence in the SUV, until the car came to a stop around twenty minutes later. Nobody moved or spoke, until Elliot eventually had enough and broke the silence. "You wanna explain why we're just sitting here? We've had kind of a rough few weeks...in case you didn't know."

The door lock clicked and an agent opened it, stepping outside and gesturing for them to follow. They did so with great unease, glancing around in concern at the realisation that they were in an isolated area, with only a large, boarded up warehouse nearby.

In a split second the agents surrounded them.

"You have been at the heart of a major government operation - you will not speak about it, or investigate anything or anybody surrounding it. We are discharging you from this study - you are among the most interesting subjects we have studied - you didn't give up, any of you, The project coordinators would rather you remained...viable, in case your participation would benefit us in the future."

Elliot shook his head, "then why the scare show? Why bring us out here, just to tell us that?"

"We need to make it absolutely clear that you and your colleagues will not make any attempt to locate other research projects. Doing so would endanger your lives...I can promise you that. You'll find the other participants will not want to discuss anything related to their experiences - all have had hospital stays, much like detective Benson," he paused, gesturing toward Olivia, "and their words would not be held in any regard by the authorities or media."

They remained silent, each standing strong as they stared back at the agents surrounding them.

"Let's be certain that you have understood our message," said one of the agents as he reached into his jacket and withdrew a weapon in a smooth and sudden movement.

Elliot instinctively raised his arm, attempting to push Olivia back and out of the line of fire as he stepped forward, intending to attempt to disarm. He had not survived weeks at these bastards hands for nothing. He was not going out without a damn good fight.

The agent wielding the gun laughed, and grabbed Munch, pulling his back against him with a jolt as he pressed the barrel i to the side of his temple.

"Our message," he repeated, "you can leave - walk away, but you will all _keep quiet_."

Elliots eyes remained firmly locked onto the gun, every possible scenario playing out in his mind in rapid succession. The light was beginning to fade, and he was beginning to notice the chill in the wind. He knew it wasn't a good sign - he would normally not have even noticed the cold air, but now he was exhausted, physically, emotionally exhausted and having been pushed beyond his limits for weeks, he just didn't know whether he could fare well against the agents in a fight.

Olivia watched the other agents carefully - she was not going to assume for a second that he was the only one of them to be armed. They most likely each had a weapon, and possibly backups too. The odds were not stacked in their favor by any means.

She slowly let her gaze drift from the gunman to Munch, meeting his eyes as she took a slow deep breath. She would not allow it to end this way for any of them, they had all been through far too much, their stories did not get to end this way.

"What do our deaths accomplish?" Munch asked calmly. "You're right, after all."

The gunman looked puzzled, "right about what?"

"That our voices would not change anything - would not pose a risk to your experiments. No one will take the words of a legally dead man, a crazy conspiracy theorist and a suicidal escaped mental patient seriously. Yet they will take our collective disappearances with much more interest. Let's face it, taking our credibility does far more damage to our words than making us disappear ever could."

"Nice try Sergeant, but you haven't quite been listening have you? You don't get to decide what happens next. It's over."

Elliot lunged at him as he saw his finger squeezing the trigger, a split moment too late, as the sound of the empty gun chamber filled the night air. The brief click sounded considerably louder as Munch closed his eyes and let out the breath he had not realised he was holding.

Olivia stepped toward him and reached out, taking his arm and pulling him back towards her and Elliot. He stumbled slightly, the air feeling as though it had been sucked from him in the instant the trigger was squeezed.

"Go. But remember that if you talk, your voices will be silenced. One way, or another."

The agents turned and walked away, returning quickly to their vehicle. As the car pulled away, a splattering of rain began to fall, and Olivia turned to Munch as she swept her rapidly dampening hair back from her face. "You ok?"

"Yeah Liv," he said with a brief smile, before moving his attention to Elliot, "so Elliot, the question remains."

"What question Munch?" asked Elliot, glancing at him in confusion, "JFK? Coz I gotta tell you I might listen to you after this."

Munch straightened up, his hand moving to rub the spot on his temple where the gun had pressed hard against him. "That's good to know, and I have some books that you might find very enlightening, but as much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, the question Stabler, is how are we gonna get home now our friendly hosts have abandoned us in the middle of nowhere."

Elliot glanced at Olivia and smiled, "he has a good point."

It took only 25 minutes. They eventually located a phone and were able to reach Cragen who had them picked up immediately. Cragen remained with them at first, reassuring himself that each of them were at least physically relatively unharmed and not in need of medical attention. He left when he took note of how exhausted they each looked, with a promise to return in the morning when they had had time to rest and eat.

They talked, long into the night, with an unspoken agreement that they would all remain together that night - not one of them really wanting to be alone right away.

Munch contemplated the sleeping arrangements - pondering briefly whether to tell his friends to just take his bed as they were undoubtedly going to end up in the same bed regardless of which couch Elliot crashed on. It was inevitable - it had always been inevitable with Olivia and Elliot.

Returning from the kitchen he had moved to stand in front of his friends who were seated on the couch. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, he caught their attention quickly.

"John, what's up?" Olivia asked with a slight laugh at his over the top attempt to get their undivided attention.

"Way I see it, soul mates and true love aside, there's 1 bed and 1 sofa, and i'm not sharing with Stabler. As much as sharing with Olivia would be nice, it makes far more sense for the two of you to take the bed. So can we just skip the part where we politely discuss appropriate sleeping arrangements and just agree that you two are going to jump into bed together eventually anyway, because i'm too tired for that debate, so up you both get." he said, gesturing with his hands for them to stand up.

Olivia glanced awkwardly at Elliot as Munch ushered them towards his room, "don't argue, just go, you won't both fit on my couch and after what we've all been through no one's sleeping on the floor."

They walked into his room, their eyes falling immediately on the invitingly large and comfortable looking bed.

"Oh and guys?" Munch said, as he began to pull the door closed, "life's too short - just damn well hold each other."

They listened to Munch.

Olivia woke first, realising that they had fallen asleep almost immediately once they had climbed into bed, rousing to the feel of the softness of the mattress, the clean and comfortable sheets, and the warmth of waking while wrapped in Elliot's arms.

As Munch had ushered them into the room, she had felt apprehensive, unsure as to how to approach sharing a bed with her partner, but as soon as they pulled each other close, all anxieties drifted away. They had fallen asleep fast, both only kicking off their shoes, and not stopping to remove clothing. Exhaustion took hold almost immediately.

Waking in his arms felt right. She knew that they would have to get up, face reality and get their stories out there, just as they had each discussed before they gave in to exhaustion and slept the night before.

Olivia smiled as she snuggled into his hold, his arms tightening protectively around her unconsciously in his sleep.

First though - she was simply going to allow herself to enjoy this moment.

 **Two more chapters to go - uploading them right after this one. Thank you for sticking with this story, I hadn't intended for such a long break - It was was started well over a year and a half ago, and has been a creative outlet for me during a time of massive growth and change, as well as discovering what fearlessness really is. So this story feels close to my heart for that reason. I appreciate you taking time to read my stuff.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

" _You're on." said Munch, as he adjusted the lens on the camera, carefully watching as Olivia's image became sharper and more focused._

 _Olivia took a breath and looked directly into the camera._

" _My name is Olivia Benson and I am a detective with the NYPD. My colleagues, Elliot Stabler and John Munch, will make statements following mine. We have each endured weeks of suffering at the hands of the U.S government."_

 _She hesitated, her eyes flitting to her partner who offered her a reassuring nod, before she looked back at the camera._

" _These are our stories."_

They each gave their testimony, recording the tape in the presence of selected reporters. Not wanting to hold a press conference, but to make their stories heard by a small number who would televise their statements. They kept it brief once they had finished, choosing not to answer the many questions fired at them by the reporters, and simply asking them to air their tape, declaring that they had each given the level of detail that they were willing or able to.

They went to Cragen straight afterwards - needing to get their public testimonies out first before they could begin to talk face to face with any one.

Cragen stood, having pushed his own chair round to join the two usually reserved for visitors to seat each of them as he moved to perch on the edge of his desk, observing the three people sitting in his office. To call them simply his detectives - his squad, would be a massive understatement. They were all far more than that, and his guilt and concern was biting as he noted the signs of the obvious toll the past few weeks had taken on each of them.

Munch, not one to endure an awkward silence, spoke first.

"So to summarise; Elliot's not dead," he began, as he gestured toward him, "Olivia's not crazy. I hold my hands up to orchestrating her escape. The next time I impart my knowledge of secret government cover ups, I expect an enraptured audience."

Olivia gave a glimmer of a smile as she briefly glanced at him, feeling grateful that they were all in the same room.

"About that. There is an open investigation, which is looking at you and your ex wife, but it's nothing that we can't take care of, given everything that led up to Olivia being in there." Cragen said.

"I take it Gwen won't be brought in here again? We can resolve that with some consideration for her...concerns about the police." Munch said.

"Of course Munch, i'll do everything to ensure that she's not questioned. She's been instrumental in helping all three of you and the last thing anyone wants to do is cause her any distress or concern." Cragen said, "i'm hoping that she won't be interviewed at all, but if she is, then we can ensure she feel well supported so we can ease her fears."

Munch shook his head with a slight smile, "Captain, nothing on this earth is going to ease her fears, but appreciate your consideration - I just need a heads up so I can help prepare her if she needs to talk to anyone."

"You have my word Munch," he said with sincerity before turning to Olivia.

"Olivia, sorry doesn't seem adequate, but its all I can offer you. I've read each of your statements, as well as watched the video, and i'm scheduling each of you with Huang - I don't intend to cut any corners in ensuring you are all supported in the coming weeks."

Elliot's eyes flitted to Olivia briefly and despite the disorientation he felt at being back in their squad room after so many weeks, he smiled. She grounded him, just as she always had. Sitting mere inches apart, their chairs pushed closer to accommodate Cragen's chair pulled round to join the others, he felt a huge sense of comfort, knowing that he was home.

Cragen observed them all carefully. The toll that the weeks had taken showing in the exhaustion on each of their faces. They would all need time, but he doubted any of them would want to take it, in truth, he would be somewhat comforted himself, by their refusal to follow his suggestion. He wanted the disheartened, jaded look they each wore to give way to the dedication and passion each of them had in their own ways. He needed to know that they would heal, because in accepting Elliot's death so easily, and in casting doubt on the credibility of Olivia's words, as well as his abject refusal to take Munch's words seriously, he felt the burden of responsibility weighing heavily.

He had apologised, but did not feel that it was adequate, he hoped they knew how much he actually cared for each of them.

He only hoped that they could begin to heal from their nightmare once their story became public.

 **Later that day**

They sat in the squad room, darkened by then, with only their desk lamps switched on, an indication of the hour, and yet nobody appeared concerned about sleep despite the exhaustion which had earlier crept up on each of them so readily. They watched as the newscaster related mundane daily events before lightening her tone, and ending with an upbeat, happy story.

"Elliot grabbed the remote off of the table and stabbed at the channel button, flicking rapidly through the channels, and pausing on each news programme, hesitating for only a moment before moving on to the next. Nothing changed. Their words did not speak to them through the shows - just mindless stories and adverts for reality TV. Throwing down the remote, Elliot looked at Munch in amazement.

"They didn't broadcast it? After everything we went through they didn't fucking broadcast it?"

Olivia sighed, shifting closer to Elliot as her hand rested lightly on his wrist, her touch calming him, stilling him, giving him focus.

"Why?" Olivia asked, directing her question at Munch.

Munch took the remote, pressing the power button and silencing the tirade of excited reality television hosts, and fast food advertisements, before dropping it to the table and reclining in his chair.

"I told you that was always a good question to ask Liv. We had a room full of carefully selected TV network executives and newspaper editors, all asking questions, all taking notes. They heard every word we said, but what's on the news tonight instead?" he said, his voice rising slightly as irritation and defeat took hold, "the latest episode of the most mind numbing and pointless television show in history - _reality tv_ \- staged and contrived and feeding the hunger for celebrity culture. Nobody wants to watch unfiltered reality, and the networks - government puppets, won't dare to show it."

"Somebody has to Munch! We didn't go through all that goddamn hell for nothing." Elliot said, "we all went through utter fucking hell, and no one wants to hear about it! That's a joke Munch. Nobody is telling the goddamn truth."

"Did you ever want to hear when I talked about who really killed JFK? Or Marilyn Monroe's death?" Munch said, as he turned to Elliot. "You laughed, you dismissed what I said because in your understanding - in your world, you accept that those that question what the authorities tell us are wacko - not to be taken seriously," he paused turning to Olivia, "or unhinged and need to be hospitalized."

"So the question is how do we wake people up?" Olivia said, more as a statement than a question. "How do we make them see reality?"

Munch sighed, "Yeah...good luck with that. People will only see what they want to or a ready to."

Olivia sighed, "Gwen told me she has friends who have disappeared John - what happened to them? If no one will listen to us then at least we can help stop this happening to other people."

"Gwen is a very intelligent woman who can be very capable - but she is also very afraid. She can be paranoid," he paused and sighed, "she sees the truth, and that's why shes scared. Some of her fears are real and grounded in truth, others...they are the kind of paranoia that prevent her from handling life as well as she could. She has friends who are unstable and have been hospitalized - in their minds did they disappear? Yes. Others - I can't explain where they are as I don't know enough background, but as we all know only too well - when you get close to the truth you can be silenced, and she _is_ right some of the time, just as she was this time when I dismissed what she was telling me for weeks."

"What do we do from here then John?" Olivia said, her voice coloured by exhaustion, "we just….go on like this didn't happen? that weeks of Elliot's life weren't taken? Nobody can deny that they were at his funeral and he's sitting here right now!"

"You two would both have dismissed a story like this if i'd told you just a few weeks ago. The most the media will ever do is put out a story that dilutes it all - says Elliot was working undercover, or in Witsec, or any convenient story. They'll simply laugh at the rest - pointing to an elaborate act we all put on so as not to blow a cover, or even spinning it a more damaging way - that Olivia's words can't be trusted given that she was committed to enforced psychiatric care. WE know the truth, but the problem has always been the same - the media won't put the truth out there and the masses don't want to hear it anyway."

Munch observed them both as they took in his words before forming a slight smile, not without some effort this time, "welcome to my world."


	20. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Cragen stood the roof, looking out across the city. He was grateful - beyond grateful that his people were back and safe, but concerned, not knowing what they had each experienced, and how much time their emotional and psychological recovery would take.

His mind drifted back to the day of Elliot's funeral - the blank and emotionally switched off look that Olivia wore, and had worn since she broke down at the site of the explosion. The hopelessness she allowed him, Munch and Fin to see within her when she sobbed in the car - he didn't know then if she could come back from the death of her partner.

He cursed himself for the mistakes he had made in not taking the concerns seriously of two people whose capabilities he had never questioned, and he would not allow himself to do that again.

He sighed, a slight smile forming before it faded and he shook his head, as he thought of Olivia and Elliot and the way their hands connected for the briefest moment as they turned and left his office. Cragen knew - the shift in their bond was noticeable as soon as he laid eyes on them - he was glad that they had finally been able to be honest with each other about their feelings, but he felt a headache already forming at the procedures he would be bending to keep them on the same squad.

"It had to happen eventually," he said, "at least some good came from this."

Sitting side by side on Olivia's couch, discarded take out cartons littering the table in front of them, the TV on mute and flickering in front of them, Olivia smiled. Elliot brushed her hair back gently, his other hand on the back of her neck as he pulled her closer to him.

Holding her, the way it would feel to kiss her, loving her, they were scenarios he had imagined in the hellish weeks he had spent believing he would never see her again. Now that they were home and alone together for the first time, he felt a sudden apprehension - it was real now, and this time they had no audience - there was nothing to stop them taking it as far as they wanted to.

He leaned in, his apprehension tumbling away as she beat him to it and slid her own hand round the back of his neck, pulling him to her quickly and letting out a sigh as her lips met his. It was soft and gentle as their kiss deepened, then becoming hungrier as their hands roamed and explored the new territory they could now discover.

Olivia felt almost lightheaded as they found themselves quickly in her bedroom - Elliot lowering her to the bed she had not slept in for so long. She looked into his eyes, the want mirroring her own. Their whispered promises and declarations as they kissed soon silenced, the truths they had finally spoken not becoming lost, but giving way to their passion as they both let go and allowed the hunger they had for each other take over.

With Olivia and Elliot, it was always headed there, it just took them a long road to travel before they finally accepted their own truth.

Munch put down his glass, assuring Fin that he didn't want a ride and had something to take care of before he headed home. Fin had looked suspicious but Munch had remained resolute that he was not going to share, and Fin didn't push.

He took a taxi and made his way towards a choice he knew he would not always be an easy road - but also in his heart knew was right.

He hesitated, then knocked on the door solid door. Certain that the occupant was hesitating while assessing his reasoning for being there through the spy hole, and the thought made him smile.

Almost immediately he heard the deadbolt sliding across and a chain dropping before she pulled open the door half way, returning his smile. He could not deny the way he felt when he saw the warmth in her smile and the way she brightened and relaxed as soon as she laid eyes on him.

"John, this is a nice surprise," she said, as she opened the door fully, gesturing for him to come in. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Munch walked through the door and couldn't help himself when he leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek.

She put her hand on his arm and kept smiling as she led him into her living room. He paused as he looked at the tv screen, focusing on the images of the Zapruder film, before turning to look at her.

She moved to sit back down on her couch, any tension and unease dropping away instantly with his proximity to her, "I can change it if you want - put a movie on? After everything..you probably want to be off the topic of government and media lies for the night,"

"It's ok Gwen, if I recall the last time we watched this together, we had an unfinished discussion we were deep into when my phone rung and I got called into work. Why don't we pick up where we left off?"

Gwen turned to him, her face softening as hr heart filled with love for him, "where we left off John?"

He placed a hand on her arm as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering as he smiled, realising himself just how much he had missed her, "how about a new start."

Thank You for reading this story and for sticking with it after such a long pause. I really appreciate you going on this journey with me. I have another story which is half written and i will start putting it up soon. It is EO based but I put a little Munch in where I could. :-)


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